I got punched in the head and it was my fault

[Flowerfaeiry]

I'm sitting here in tears thinking about how I got into this situation. I have this complex about myself that insists I am better than that type of drama. But I attracted this into my life because I still haven't worked through a lot of the pain I have from my childhood. I recently moved into a home with 3 roommates. I noticed right away after moving in that I had gotten myself into a situation that I was trying to move away from, drinking and partying. But at the point of my realization, I had already moved in and was settled. In a new city, all by myself. Okay, I should be alright, right? Well, I have a history of using drugs and alcohol and I feel a very strong pull to do those things when I am around them. I thought I could just, not do it, and live in the house regardless. But I was needy, I wanted friends, and my roommates were partying so why wouldn't I join? I tried to not get involved but I was just drawn to the things happening all around me. 

 

This girl punched me because she didn't like me being friendly to her. I take full responsibility for it. I walked up to her, she was drunk, high and angry. I smiled at her. She called me a bitch and punched me. I didn't react. It's my fault for trying to prove to her that I am a nice person... I deserve that. I moved out the next day. But now I'm living in a hotel, alone in a new state. 

 

I keep turning inwards and looking at how I got myself into this situation. And it's a little overwhelming to see all the ways in which I am at fault for all my drama. I just feel like I should be over this by now. I've been really putting work in for 3 years but have been into spirituality for 10+ years. To think that all those years were just me lying to myself about how "spiritual and good" I am just pains me. I'm a liar to myself first and then to those around me. As a tall, white, pretty girl I have this look that makes me seem like I have my life together. But I am suffering deeply, and the only reason I'm not a homeless drug addict is because I have a really good support system. I just feel like such a fake. 

[meow_meow]

13 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I noticed right away after moving in that I had gotten myself into a situation that I was trying to move away from

 

14 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I moved out the next day.

So basically the issue resolved on "its own" so to speak. You'll be alright.

[blankisomeone]

21 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

This girl punched me because she didn't like me being friendly to her. I take full responsibility for it. I walked up to her, she was drunk, high and angry. I smiled at her. She called me a bitch and punched me. I didn't react. It's my fault for trying to prove to her that I am a nice person... I deserve that. I moved out the next day. But now I'm living in a hotel, alone in a new state. 

Jeez... You’re not responsible for her punching you. What are you doing to yourself? 

[Epikur]

Spirituality is mostly based in fantastical thinking. It is a luxury. A dose of reality beats spirituality in general. Common sense and a bit of psychology might be a better road map.

Love people but keep your distance.

[Striving for more]

Lool at least  throw juice at her or something.

Tbis os nothing to do with you or even partying.. you got unlucky and met disgusting people

You can socialise with friendly people, just got to find them (i knos it can feel impossoble i was tbe same

 

 

Edited April 17, 2021 by Striving for more

[Opo]

@Husseinisdoingfine never rly? 

[Nobody_Here]

@FlowerfaeiryWell, we can spend this entire thread discussing fault, but I don't think that's the real issue. From one perspective, you talked to a person you felt was dangerous and suffered the consequences. From another perspective, you can't control other people's actions, and you didn't do anything a rational, sober person would say that would provoke her to assault you.

From my perspective, the drunk angry person did you a favor -- she got you out of a situation that could have led you to seriously relapse into your old habits. I'm not saying your life is great right now, and I agree being alone/feeling lonely can be bad for your mental health. But addiction is something that is not to be messed with. If the temptation to use is that strong for you, it's best to be out of that house.

Think of that person as an angry mirror of yourself who got upset that you chose to stay in a situation that's bad for you. Thank that mirror and let her go. I hope you find some better roommates next time. 

Edited April 18, 2021 by Nobody_Here
Added name of OP

[VividReality]

@Flowerfaeiry I’m going through a similar but different situation. When I was younger I really didn’t have a social life, I truly kept my distance from anyone in my class and other people on the playground. In elementary, life was just so awkward and somewhere halfway through middle school. Something changed. I started running cross country and slowly changed my mindset, Right now it’s been over 8 years since I graduated. And even though I have personal development backing me, I can’t seem to get out of my mindset that keeps me from being alone. 
 

right now I’m sitting at a packed block with tons of people, it feels like I’m at the elementary playground all over again!

I came here by choice, I am alone, and have walked the block 4 times as of right now. The reason I’m even writing this is because I’m experincing huge amounts of resistance.

The resistance I’m feeling is the “Hi I’m VR, how are you doing” 

like I know we can talk just about anything with anyone, but I tend to say”Hi, enjoy your day” they say you as well, and we go on with our day

im having a really hard time just staying with others presence. 
——————————————————

I understand what you mean about parting and smoking and drinking, I personally stuck to smoking legal cannabis myself, never did I like partying do to that mindset I developed as a youngster. I love life, I enjoy being present and alone, but a part of me just like you has to change the mindset of our youth. 
 

——————————————————

Let’s keep in touch, share with each other our progress  because we are human and are allowed to experience and grow and make life better  

today I did do a new result, I went out into a new little town and explored it, but like I said I’m having a bed time with this resistance

———————

a part of me wants to think that I am making progress but another part of me is saying that its not enough. 
 

so what will I do?

 

——————-

idk I have stepped into my future with the actions I’m taking right now by applying awareness to my problem. As you did

———-

just remember your not the only one going through hard times, so don’t kick yourself to hard, and stay consistent with what you have envision in your mind.

———————-

 

[Kshantivadin]

It's way better when life punches you in the face and propels you into something better imagine no punches.

[Noah avan]

2 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

@Flowerfaeiry

 

Watch this I think it will help

[wwhy]

2 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

Never leave your house without some sort of self defense, whether it be a gun, pepper spray, or tazer.

Wow. What part of the world do you live?

[wwhy]

8 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

This girl punched me because she didn't like me being friendly to her. I take full responsibility for it. I walked up to her, she was drunk, high and angry. I smiled at her. She called me a bitch and punched me. I didn't react. It's my fault for trying to prove to her that I am a nice person... I deserve that. I moved out the next day. But now I'm living in a hotel, alone in a new state. 

Were you drunk or high yourself at the time? Was this the very first time you interacted with her.. or is there some backstory?

[UNZARI]

Drunk angry people like that are so fucked. This girl tried hitting on me and got angry with me out of nowhere. Started talking shit and putting her hands on me. I told her to fuck off and pushed her and she went crazy started fucking with everyone else. 
 

anyway the lesson should be love people but love yourself as well. Use anger as a way to get them to stop if they’re attempting to hurt you. Never take that kind of shit from people that’s not fair to you 

do you think the Buddha or Christ were just pushovers or doormats? Hell no they new when people crossed a line, they just prob forgave them for being stupid afterwards lol

Edited April 18, 2021 by UNZARI

[Chumbimba]

Nah, fuck all that letting go buddha shit. Beat her ass. 

You can let go... let your fist go right to her fucking face. 

[Lyubov]

27 minutes ago, Chumbimba said:

Nah, fuck all that letting go buddha shit. Beat her ass. 

You can let go... let your fist go right to her fucking face. 

I agree if it’s in the moment. Most honest thing you can do if someone is being a bully. If you have already moved out though obviously it’s time to move on.

this place sounded toxic as hell and you’re better off not being there. Honestly drop this spiritual talk bs. You gotta take a reality check and realize that someone hit you cause you tried to be friendly and you blame yourself for it? Ok... does that sound right? 

[Nahm]

@Flowerfaeiry

Why don’t you want to be around drinking and partying? What plans do you have which that doesn’t jive with? 

[Yali]

7 hours ago, Chumbimba said:

Nah, fuck all that letting go buddha shit. Beat her ass. 

You can let go... let your fist go right to her fucking face. 

Violence is never the answer, but sometimes it is

 

Edited April 18, 2021 by Yali

[Nahm]

The pain is the moment of the punch, the suffering is the story about oneself. Maybe listen to feeling applicable to this occasion and apply it to the bigger picture of life, hearing the pain & the suffering, before it’s a roundhouse kick or something. You gotta care more about how you feel, listen at a whisper.  Bring the suffering to a rest, by bringing mind to a peaceful rest. Over and over, as needed. One not suffering isn’t too concerned over the occasional pain. All day everyday, the mind starts to wander to a not good feeling place, bring it back to rest. Notice these tendencies to go to bummer town, and breathe and relax. Being aware of these ‘movements’ of mind in these directions, is more than ample. The mind can not do this in the light, only in disregard. 

[SolarWarden]

It is brave of you to take full responsibility for the thing that happened. As the stronger you get, the more lethal the manifestation will become. No one is perfect so anyone does mistakes. We had a very spiritually advanced woman who manifested lethality.

That the price she paid for the empowerment she gave herself and others. The more advanced you are the bigger the risks if you make a mistake. So it is wise to train responsibility and temper beforehand.

 

The point of karmic retribution is to acknowledge that" Everything that comes to me is deserved and desired". That motto helps to control temper and avoid further mistakes. 

No need to confuse victim-blaming disguised as a virtue for something you attracted and made a mental story out of it. As accidents can still happen in the mind of the ALL. Even lethality. Good luck.

[Hello from Russia]