What does it mean to be a nice person?

[machinegun]

Before anybody recommends it, I tried to watch the "what is goodness" video by Leo. I have no fucking idea what this man is saying.

I feel like many people many people try to act nice to preserve an identity or because of culture, not out of genuine selflessness. Do you know what I'm saying?

They view themselves as a "nice person" (or so they have been told) and so they carry out actions that reflect this image of themselves: burdening themselves with other people's work, over complimenting, and sometimes being a flat out people pleaser. In any case of selflessness, I feel like people make it all about themselves: how they want to be viewed, what benefit they can get from it, etc. 

This is true for me. In actuality, I am a pretty selfish person; but, because I want to be like by others I act very agreeably. I have been pondering this question for a few weeks now with no avail.

 

 

[machinegun]

I feel like I have only seen genuine acts of kindness only a few times in my life. Do I just live around a bunch of assholes??

[Megan Alecia]

This is true but maybe it's just a way to get along. If you can  make people feel good, the possibilities for you are endless. 

Edited April 16, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Preety_India]

You can take the Big 5 OCEAN TEST for personality mapping to better understand your personality and character. 

Depending on that you will know how open and conscientious you're 

Here's the link 

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/personality/

 

 

[machinegun]

@Megan Alecia What do you mean by the possibilities are endless?

[Parththakkar12]

@machinegun Congrats on being able to see through the cultural bullshit.

What it actually means to be a nice person is to see people for who they are, to integrate who the other person truly is and what the truth about them is in a situation, to have respect for that truth and act accordingly. That's what it actually means to be a 'nice person' or a 'decent person'. That's what it actually means to 'treat others with respect'.

Stage Blue people will have these puritanical rules of 'Don't swear' and 'Do charity' and stuff like that to be a 'nice person' or a 'respectful person'. This is not accurate at all. It's not about what you say or do, it's about your level of consciousness.

If you're a selfish person right now, that's fine! It takes a lot of work and effort to work up to 'niceness' or 'decency' the way I've defined it. Very few people actually do meet this definition, as a matter of fact. This is not a moral standard, you're not going to go to hell if you don't meet this standard.

[machinegun]

@Parththakkar12 you know I dont understand a lot of that either. But, if it has to do with raising your level of consciousness then I'm all ears.

[Eternity]

Tell me, do you feel real empathy for people who suffer great losses, or heart break?  I do.  But I don't consider that "being nice."  I consider that being human.  It's not a show I'm putting on.  I just feel pain when someone else is suffering and I can't stand not doing anything to help.  I think that is supposed to indicate a higher level of consciousness, maybe.  Do you ever sense when people are just acting nice to show off what fine and admirable people they are?  Then those people don't get it yet.  Being nice, having kindness and empathy can be faked, but most people see through that.  So if that is your goal, then don't try to force it.  Your wish to be that is all you need.  Your teachers in life will urge you to that goal and it will happen naturally.  Life lessons give you wisdom and wisdom will endow you with your own personal learning curriculum.  From as long as I remember I had a deep wish to love others more.  I usually saw people as annoying and hated crowds of people.  But gradually  I learned lessons given me and I began to grow in empathy and compassion.  Those qualities are really all there inside of your heart (or heart chakra if you like), but the obstacles need to be cleared away so they can be clearly expressed in your life.  So just keep on and listen to the promptings of your heart.  "Whenever the student is ready, the teacher appears."

[Barbara]

I would say not to worry about being a nice person, for now. Focus on being your more authentic instead 

Edited April 19, 2021 by Barbara

[Nahm]

On 4/16/2021 at 0:09 AM, machinegun said:

Before anybody recommends it, I tried to watch the "what is goodness" video by Leo. I have no fucking idea what this man is saying.

I feel like many people many people try to act nice to preserve an identity or because of culture, not out of genuine selflessness. Do you know what I'm saying?

Sounds like you’re holding others to a standard of selflessness, while you’re defining that there are separate selves. 

Quote

They view themselves as a "nice person" (or so they have been told) and so they carry out actions that reflect this image of themselves: burdening themselves with other people's work, over complimenting, and sometimes being a flat out people pleaser. In any case of selflessness, I feel like people make it all about themselves: how they want to be viewed, what benefit they can get from it, etc. 

“View themselves”.... or monkey mind / thought attachment to the belief one could actually view oneself. Comparisons are as they appear, thoughts. 

Quote

This is true for me. In actuality, I am a pretty selfish person; but, because I want to be like by others I act very agreeably. I have been pondering this question for a few weeks now with no avail.

Wether or not you’re liked, is your thoughts. Seems like it’s other’s thoughts, but it isn’t. 

What would the thoughts be about if they weren’t dualistic? 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Being a nice person is being nice for the sake of getting something in return..real nice people is who has the dark side and can use it but choose not to they can be ruthless but use it only for the greater good or good of others(doing the right thing) and sometimes doing the right thing is being selfish