I Broke Free of Puppetry

[Bubba66]

 

Realizing a DEEP Self-deception, check this one for yourself... 

It has been stressed in many actualized.org videos over the years, including the more recent metaphysical topics like holism and integrity. All of personal development work starts with a direct experience of it. 

Recently, I became aware in a startling way of a self-deception that went DEEP with regards to my internet use, including this website. It is that I would walk "down the path of unearned wisdom"-- renounce my actual level of development (stage orange, getting good at basic survival, pursuing relationships), in return for a phony sense of pride in "stage yellow thinking abilities," just because I heard someone talk about meditation for an hour. 

Owning this work requires self-honesty first. Self-honesty is a decision you make not once, not temporarily while listening to Leo for an hour or two, but Every Single Day, three or four times a day or more. Honesty starts with a situational awareness of where your needs deficiencies are; because these holes will be the exact traps you fall into on your way to self-actualization.

You are deficient in sex? Guess what you will always have problems with, despite your bank account status. You are deficient in physical health and fitness? Guess what you will always be tempted by (food), or what will restrict your growth pattern (body ailments/ confidence issues)? Own your deficiencies, your subtle addictions, and your bad habits. Watch them carefully, and suffer honestly. This is the foundational honesty from which all else good is built. 

My personal action steps in light of this situation are as follows:

Mission: total self-acceptance

1. Contemplate my actual needs deficiencies, flaws, and daily addictions (subtle and gross). Journal on "Maslow's hierarchy of needs" every day for 30 minutes. 

2. Keep an energy log, measure my mind state along "self-awareness", "alertness", and "flow/engagement" on a scale of 0-5. Measure these at each meal and before bedtime, with a brief note of what you are doing/ eating at each interval. 

3. Keep a tension log, measure my mind state along "Restlessness or cravings," "Uncertainty, fear," and "fatigue, lack of clarity" on a scale of 0-5. Measure these at each meal and before bedtime, with a brief note of what you are doing/ eating at each interval. 

4. Review these energy logs every Sunday, and write out "what works" and "what is not working." 

I invented this protocol for myself. I did not need a coach, a video, or a book. I simply sat down and contemplated what my highest impact personal development initiative should be for the time being. It can be hard to take the first step, so I would suggest to just pick a model of prioritization and try it out for a month. I chose Maslow's for now because it resonates. Others might choose spiral dynamics, or choose a different model entirely. This work is highly customizable (which is the cool part). 

One step at a time, choosing the highest impact experiments

I have also become directly aware that Simplicity is key. Complexity fails. The proof of this revealed itself in the first week of this exercise. I found after only one week of trying several other "missions" at once. I tried to "take ownership of my fitness," and address my relationship deficiencies, and address my school/career development needs--- all at once. I failed to take action. I fell into an unconscious loop of distractions. I even lashed out at people I cared for, from the overwhelm and guilt of procrastination (procrastination is a deep and pernicious cycle of behavior for me, I will be searching for a root cure authentic to my needs soon). 

So I stuck to ONE mission for now: total self-acceptance. I defined a time frame to measure the results: at the end of this month. I found my state of mind changed completely with self-awareness at the helm of my decisions, rather than unquestioned impulses (procrastination, stimulation, distraction mechanisms: including Leo's videos). Sometimes, you eat an elephant one bite at a time, and climb the pyramid of "needs" one step

 

On a final note, I have an interesting metaphor for listening to this content or any content authentically: 

In life you start out in the center of a corn maze. Here is where your authentic thoughts dwell, where you and your friends laugh and relate. it is where you are really at, developmentally. Here burns a pyre of home, of authenticity, for better or worse. Then, someone tells you to see if there is a way out of the maze, so you say "I am open minded" and you start down a pathway in the corn. Before you know it, you are in a completely different place in the corn, for better or for worse. You might even like this spot in the corn maze better than your starting point. But when the sun sets and it is getting dark out (life gets hard and challenges YOUR EGO, not Leo's thoughts and opinions) shit gets real. The wolves are howling in the dark, and you feel anxious as though you are being watched. You realize you are completely lost without a way back. You have this anxiety because you walked the path of Unearned Wisdom with a Bright Red Tether back to where you started. 

Tie that Red Tether to your original thinking on a subject, before you tread down a path of new ideas. With this approach, you can entertain a path without getting lost and losing who you were to begin with. This is your end of the bargain when entertaining new ideas. If you do the work to avoid getting lost, and trace your steps back to your thoughts on a subject after you listen to a lecture, podcast or actualized video; before long you will find that all progress you make on your way out of the maze will be authentic to you.