Teal Swan on 'containment' - what women needs from men

[WaveInTheOcean]

Watched this interesting video yesterday

What do people think of Teal's views? Especially interested in @Emerald s take. 

[universe]

Locked. Please keep the discussion in this thread only. 

❤️

edit: Unlocked because the old one is locked. But here is the link to it.

 

[flowboy]

I personally would enjoy many more examples of it, and more detailed ones.

I think she kind of breezes through it, but to get a good understanding I would appreciate a 2 hour video like Leo makes.

[wwhy]

It sound to me like Teal is confusing energy with gender. We all idenntify with a particular gender, but divine musculine and feminine energy does not care about those details. A mature, well balanced male or female person will have a good balance between their masculine and female energies. After all, the greatest container in nature is a mother. So women, don't just take and take and take... get in touch with your masculine side and give back too.

[WaveInTheOcean]

1 hour ago, wwhy said:

It sound to me like Teal is confusing energy with gender. We all idenntify with a particular gender, but divine musculine and feminine energy does not care about those details. A mature, well balanced male or female person will have a good balance between their masculine and female energies. After all, the greatest container in nature is a mother. So women, don't just take and take and take... get in touch with your masculine side and give back too.

Great comment, thank you.

Yes, I'm thinking the same. She seems to sort of take it for granted that every man on Earth *should* be fully masculine, while every women *should* be fully feminine.

Of course, generally speaking, more men embody more masculine energy, and more women embody more feminine energy.

But for many persons it's a mix. Especially in regards to self-development, I think we should strive to embody both types of energy, no matter our gender. Of course, one type of energy will always be "the core one", the dominant one, and as I'm a man and very heterosexual, I naturally feel that there is more masculine energy inside me than feminine, although I have cultivated the feminine aspect within me a lot the last few years.

Edited April 15, 2021 by WaveInTheOcean

[WaveInTheOcean]

2 hours ago, universe said:

Locked. Please keep the discussion in this thread only. 

❤️

edit: Unlocked because the old one is locked. But here is the link to it.

 

ah sorry didn't see the old thread, and Emerald even replied. haha lol

[wwhy]

1 hour ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

Great comment, thank you.

Yes, I'm thinking the same. She seems to sort of take it for granted that every man on Earth *should* be fully masculine, while every women *should* be fully feminine.

Of course, generally speaking, more men embody more masculine energy, and more women embody more feminine energy.

But for many persons it's a mix. Especially in regards to self-development, I think we should strive to embody both types of energy, no matter our gender. Of course, one type of energy will always be "the core one", the dominant one, and as I'm a man and very heterosexual, I naturally feel that there is more masculine energy inside me than feminine, although I have cultivated the feminine aspect within me a lot the last few years.

You're welcome.

All relationships that last, I believe, regardless of gender or sexual preferences, require some kind of give and take between both parties. What bothered me about this video is that she went on and on and on about what the man is supposed to give (and she is correct, masculine energy gives, feminine energy takes), and ended it by saying "so men, just give! Physically, emotionally, and mentally. Give it all, and your joy will be from giving".

Total BS! Regardless of gender or sexual orientation... we all have both masculine and feminine energies flowing within us. Which means we all will feel fulfilled, happy and complete by both giving, and receiving. If you are looking for a long term stable relationship, give and receive, with someone who can do the same.

[WaveInTheOcean]

I think Teal should make a video:

Containment, what men needs from women

I think both the feminine and masculine wants to be contained, just in different ways.

I like her analogy where the clam-shell is the masculine and the pearl the feminine. But turn it around and we could make another analogy: the masculine being 'a warrior' that needs to be contained by his Queen ??

 

 

[Recress]

^ Why not suggest that on the comment section of her video? Maybe she will read it.

[intotheblack]

after more contemplating about it since I shared the video the first time.. 
the way I see it is that the containment is more about emotional support..that you are safe to just ‘be’ in your natural state. It’s a feeling of trust in the person. Like a knowing that they have your back, they are with you and you are on the same team. It’s like you are part of them and they have your best interests at heart. Feeling seen for who you are. This is ideally how it would be in all relationships. Child and parent, friends or lovers.  But because this isn’t usually the case in the first relationship of your life (the one with your parents) trauma is created. 

So many men and also women, have a collective wound and simply aren’t capable of giving this emotional support to someone and taking them as a part of you... 
If you grew up without this loving and nurturing family relationship where you were seen for who you are.. you will feel alone. You’ll therefore end up in sexual relationships with the same sort of dynamic later in life.  And this is what the lack of containment is. The people never felt ‘‘wanted’ , so then how can you possibly make another feel wanted and safe? They were never ‘contained’ so they don’t know how to contain another.  

I think the man being the one to do all the containing is a bit outdated, and there is also women who are incapable of it (myself included before I did any self actualising) 
A man also wants to feel like his partner is with him, and to feel nurtured and loved.
I once read an article ages ago, but I always remember a part in it. It was written by a man who said that all men deep down want to be held and loved, and that the feeling of being in a woman’s arms and cared for by her, doesn’t compare to anything else. It is a place of peace.  

As a woman I’m very independent, and have never looked to a man for containment in the physical sense (money, a house, protection etc) I don’t want that a guy is doing everything for me or that there is an imbalance of power in the relationship... and maybe I will be seen as too masculine for that, especially by teal swan lol, she sometimes seems to look down on women who don’t like to depend on a man. I find a lot of her content interesting but sometimes she’s a bit condescending.  
 
to me containmant is more about that feeling of deep trust and companionship, that both partners give to eachother. It’s a gift! But this only happens in a healthy way when both partners are at the same level of consciousness and maturity. 
both of them can express their feminine and masculine energies out in different ways, but there has to be a balance of this openness and emotional support.
I don’t think it should be so black and white regarding who does what, or who is/isn’t masculine, or who is/isn’t feminine.  
the important thing is accepting the other for who they are. 
 

[intotheblack]

Just now, Peter Miklis said:

Oh jeez, not this again

Hehe. I know, the first time was over 700 comments! 

[WaveInTheOcean]

8 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

after more contemplating about it since I shared the video the first time.. 
the way I see it is that the containment is more about emotional support..that you are safe to just ‘be’ in your natural state. It’s a feeling of trust in the person. Like a knowing that they have your back, they are with you and you are on the same team. It’s like you are part of them and they have your best interests at heart. Feeling seen for who you are. This is ideally how it would be in all relationships. Child and parent, friends or lovers.  But because this isn’t usually the case in the first relationship of your life (the one with your parents) trauma is created. 

So many men and also women, have a collective wound and simply aren’t capable of giving this emotional support to someone and taking them as a part of you... 
If you grew up without this loving and nurturing family relationship where you were seen for who you are.. you will feel alone. You’ll therefore end up in sexual relationships with the same sort of dynamic later in life.  And this is what the lack of containment is. The people never felt ‘‘wanted’ , so then how can you possibly make another feel wanted and safe? They were never ‘contained’ so they don’t know how to contain another.  

I think the man being the one to do all the containing is a bit outdated, and there is also women who are incapable of it (myself included before I did any self actualising) 
A man also wants to feel like his partner is with him, and to feel nurtured and loved.
I once read an article ages ago, but I always remember a part in it. It was written by a man who said that all men deep down want to be held and loved, and that the feeling of being in a woman’s arms and cared for by her, doesn’t compare to anything else. It is a place of peace.  

As a woman I’m very independent, and have never looked to a man for containment in the physical sense (money, a house, protection etc) I don’t want that a guy is doing everything for me or that there is an imbalance of power in the relationship... and maybe I will be seen as too masculine for that, especially by teal swan lol, she sometimes seems to look down on women who don’t like to depend on a man. I find a lot of her content interesting but sometimes she’s a bit condescending.  
 
to me containmant is more about that feeling of deep trust and companionship, that both partners give to eachother. It’s a gift! But this only happens in a healthy way when both partners are at the same level of consciousness and maturity. 
both of them can express their feminine and masculine energies out in different ways, but there has to be a balance of this openness and emotional support.
I don’t think it should be so black and white regarding who does what, or who is/isn’t masculine, or who is/isn’t feminine.  
the important thing is accepting the other for who they are. 
 

Great post.

[flowboy]

4 hours ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

I think Teal should make a video:

Containment, what men needs from women

I think both the feminine and masculine wants to be contained, just in different ways.

I like her analogy where the clam-shell is the masculine and the pearl the feminine. But turn it around and we could make another analogy: the masculine being 'a warrior' that needs to be contained by his Queen ??

 

 

She has stuff like that.

 

[soos_mite_ah]

4 hours ago, intotheblack said:

As a woman I’m very independent, and have never looked to a man for containment in the physical sense (money, a house, protection etc) I don’t want that a guy is doing everything for me or that there is an imbalance of power in the relationship... and maybe I will be seen as too masculine for that, especially by teal swan lol, she sometimes seems to look down on women who don’t like to depend on a man. I find a lot of her content interesting but sometimes she’s a bit condescending.  
 
to me containmant is more about that feeling of deep trust and companionship, that both partners give to eachother. It’s a gift! But this only happens in a healthy way when both partners are at the same level of consciousness and maturity. 
both of them can express their feminine and masculine energies out in different ways, but there has to be a balance of this openness and emotional support.
 

Tbh, I never got that vibe from Teal. I think it's necessary for a woman to not seek a man for containment physically. The way I saw it that that Teal tends to critique the whole "I have to do everything myself in order to be considered empowered" narrative. Because being super independent to the point where you can't ask people for help, you feel like you are alone fending for yourself, and you push people away isn't healthy. For women, there is a narrative that is pushed in society where she is expected to be a superwoman of sorts and who is able to do it all with no help from anyone, but that simply isn't realistic because it causes women to be exhausted and spread herself too thin (basically the stage orange narrative of what it means to be a strong woman and how it sometimes demonizes femininity by painting it as weak and can cause both men and women to be emotionally unavailable). Instead, it can be incredibly beneficial for a partner to step in and take care of some of that responsibility so that women can relax a little. And there is no shame in that so long as it doesn't devolve into codependency. 

4 hours ago, intotheblack said:

I think the man being the one to do all the containing is a bit outdated, and there is also women who are incapable of it (myself included before I did any self actualising) 
A man also wants to feel like his partner is with him, and to feel nurtured and loved.
I once read an article ages ago, but I always remember a part in it. It was written by a man who said that all men deep down want to be held and loved, and that the feeling of being in a woman’s arms and cared for by her, doesn’t compare to anything else. It is a place of peace.  

I agree with this. I think Teal was addressing masculine containment here because socially there has always been the expectation for women to be kind and nurturing in a relationship whereas for men there is this expectation to be stoic and standoffish because they aren't socialized to be connection oriented the way women are. Also there is a lot of men who get babied by their moms and expect their future girlfriends to be a care giver of sorts once those men move out. It's kind of like saying, "hey men still have responsibility here, the woman shouldn't do ALL of the work whether that be emotionally or otherwise."

[intotheblack]

1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Tbh, I never got that vibe from Teal. I think it's necessary for a woman to not seek a man for containment physically. The way I saw it that that Teal tends to critique the whole "I have to do everything myself in order to be considered empowered" narrative. Because being super independent to the point where you can't ask people for help, you feel like you are alone fending for yourself, and you push people away isn't healthy. For women, there is a narrative that is pushed in society where she is expected to be a superwoman of sorts and who is able to do it all with no help from anyone, but that simply isn't realistic because it causes women to be exhausted and spread herself too thin (basically the stage orange narrative of what it means to be a strong woman and how it sometimes demonizes femininity by painting it as weak and can cause both men and women to be emotionally unavailable). Instead, it can be incredibly beneficial for a partner to step in and take care of some of that responsibility so that women can relax a little. And there is no shame in that so long as it doesn't devolve into codependency. 

Yeah you are right! I also understood this side from her, in general I do like her though, and enjoy her talks. 

 

1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

agree with this. I think Teal was addressing masculine containment here because socially there has always been the expectation for women to be kind and nurturing in a relationship whereas for men there is this expectation to be stoic and standoffish because they aren't socialized to be connection oriented the way women are. Also there is a lot of men who get babied by their moms and expect their future girlfriends to be a care giver of sorts once those men move out. It's kind of like saying, "hey men still have responsibility here, the woman shouldn't do ALL of the work whether that be emotionally or otherwise."

Yep agree