Ask a Psychopath

[erik8lrl]

 

[Seeker531]

Very interesting interview. It's good to see how this mindset works and it makes me more compassionate for this condition. I'm glad she saw the benefits in getting treatment. 

[Forestluv]

A great interview with a woman that has a relatively moderate, narrow form of psychopathy. It's good to see people in this area not being stigmatized and given assistance for how to participate within social systems. 

I've seen documentaries on much more severe / broader forms of psychopathy. It can get quite disturbing. 

[integral]

Grey Rage sounded like Red. 

[The0Self]

They have some good and bad qualities. I wonder if a self-aware psychopath is possible. On one hand they have virtually no shame, but on the other hand they're a walking lie -- however most people are, in some way, psychopaths are just very aware of it. The thing that makes me lose hope for them is the fact that every single one of them is narcissistic -- I'm not sure how this quality can be redeemed, at least as far as self-awareness is concerned.

And one aspect of psychopathy is lack of fear, so it would seem they're not very neurotic or constricted... however what flies in the face of this is any threat to their self image -- they seem to protect their self image like it's the only thing that matters. Almost all psychopaths are grandiose narcissists who actually cannot hear criticism -- it seems like they take criticism as an attack, and I wouldn't be surprised if they pretty much never look inward.

Just watched the weak sense of self part -- yeah; makes sense.

And the gray rage seems like a tumultuous attempt to put their self-image back in check -- "no way in hell I'm gonna let this person wrongly assume I'm not powerful."

Edited April 26, 2021 by The0Self

[Carl-Richard]

On 14.4.2021 at 9:46 PM, integral said:

Grey Rage sounded like Red. 

The way she describes it sounds like a flow state. Flow maximizes information flow, so the more flow you have, the more karma you're able to burn through (which you could say is good in her case). Maybe next life she'll be a "normal" person  

[lmfao]

@erik8lrl I think videos like these serve the role of undoing some of the dramatisation around psychopaths. The depiction of them as serial killers out to get you. Drama is fun but it can't be the only take you have on it. 

Honestly from what it sounds like, psychopaths have a narrower range of emotion. And even those emotions they do feel seem pretty attenuated. It honestly seems like a more boring life, but maybe it has its upsides. 

[traveler]

Interesting

 

Edited April 27, 2021 by traveler

[integral]

18 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

The way she describes it sounds like a flow state. Flow maximizes information flow, so the more flow you have, the more karma you're able to burn through (which you could say is good in her case). Maybe next life she'll be a "normal" person  

lol that comment sent me to this thread. I wonder, maybe she is playing the system better then we can. Maybe her karmic foot print is smaller then we think.  

Edited April 27, 2021 by integral

[Carl-Richard]

4 minutes ago, integral said:

lol that comment sent me to this thread. I wonder, maybe she is playing the system better then we can. Maybe her karmic foot print is smaller then we think.  

My conception of karma is not contigent on morality in the first place, so yeah, if you spend more time in flow, you more efficiently deal with karma, because that is all that karma is: information about the universe.

[DIDego]

20 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

The way she describes it sounds like a flow state. Flow maximizes information flow, so the more flow you have, the more karma you're able to burn through (which you could say is good in her case). Maybe next life she'll be a "normal" person  

@Carl-Richard Nice approach 

I wonder how many that would actually being judge her as a psychopath, if there was an blind test.

It would be interesting to meet her irl and see how that would be from an non judge - mental interview.

1 hour ago, integral said:

lol that comment sent me to this thread. I wonder, maybe she is playing the system better then we can. Maybe her karmic foot print is smaller then we think.  

@integral Got that feeling too, that i cant be sure, and definitely not going too judge her be a psychopath when not sure, what is an psychopath, do we know for sure?

What is really truth after all credulity and cruelty, man kind have produced and introduced on each other with all the righteous preaching.

She sounds have same kind of attitude that many grows in this forum, kind of neglect or block their emotions, as society in generations forced towards to be the standard framed "workaholic good citizen", la viva the logic intellectual mind and pho pho all emotional behavior as weakness. 

Who knows, she maybe are an unconscious enlighten being.

Who knows maybe fully aware and playing the game, so she can move around and make a change from the inside.

I dont know, just an perspective.

Felt as an rant write this.

Take care, stay safe and remember social distance during summertime.

Hugh and intimacy was more or less endangered before pandemic, now Hughs are more or less prohibited and intimacy are on the list for basic survival need, lets make virtual hugs at least.  

Edited April 27, 2021 by DIDego

[integral]

@DIDego theirs a lot to unpack here. Karma is less about good and bad and more about cause and effect. Was saying maybe she can navigate the system better then most, She has many effective assets like no fear. 

Wouldn't say she is blocking her emotions, more she has a ego-centric set of values. Its like intellectualized red.  

6 minutes ago, DIDego said:

Hugh and intimacy was more or less endangered before pandemic, now Hughs are more or less a prohibited and intimacy are on the list for basic survival need, lets make virtual hugs at least.  

So THATS what this pandemic was for, extinction of hughs. lol, maybe its a real consequence, a change in social norms. 

 

[Hap E-Boi]

What she describes is pretty recognizable for how I experienced life a lot of the time before I started supplementing zinc as well as reducing intake of some nutrients including histamine (Undermethylation?), as well as glutamate. Also I added fatty fish to my diet, I was 'vegan' before that but it was not for the animals... even though I said so as took sadistic pleasure in torturing animals.

I loved trolling meat eaters, especially children to see their reaction when showing images of what happens in slaughterhouses. I also loved to share videos of vegans who undergo the same treatment as animals as a protest (things like livestock branding on humans).

When it came down to political views I was an eco facist (hence the veganism), it came down to that I thought there were too many people and any individual or group of people I didn't like should have been executed in the most painful way possible because they deserve it.

Furthermore, I also had the same sort of laugh (tension around the mouth area, one side slightly pointing upward) and way of eye movement (often looking at one side when in a conversation).

Also, I have to note I was extremely narcissistic.

When I was horny I would start flirting with over 10 guys in several chat windows hoping to get somebody to have intercourse with that night. It didn't feel wrong even though I was putting my own and other's sexual health at risk. I felt like I had the right to do so because I was horny.

Furthermore I had a lot of fetishes, including BDSM.

When I didn't have as much money as I liked I prostituted myself. It didn't feel wrong at all as my desire for money justified this.

Also I went to climate protests with signs, like: “Ride my ass, not a car” or “Fuck me not the planet”. You get the idea. People wanted with me on the picture and I loved the attention.

I know it sounds crazy but having a mostly stage green upbringing, people did confuse me with what I now would call radical stage green. Barely anyone around me knew about any of this, except the music taste 'n stuff. People saw it as rebellious I guess, being a non-comformist. I think stage red can imitate any first tier stage, it will tell everyone what they want to hear in order to get what they want. They can be known as a loving, caring person as is the case for some serial killers. They might be a volunteer at Oxfam, which I was. Nonetheless it can't fool second tier, but second tier will understand their dynamic.

Concerning relationships, for me I regarded it as a subscription to a sex partner or to get money. There was only lust, greed & sadism, no love. I didn't know what love felt like.

If I cheated on my partner, I felt it was their fault because they did things that make me do that and I made very hurtful insults. Often this is where they hit the hardest, I want to make the other person feel how they neglected my sexual desires, or neglected their physical appearance so I had to cheat.

Furthermore, I spend hours online trolling, it felt so satisfying, not realizing I did anything wrong. I felt I had the right to do so because it is entertaining me.

If I watched a movie, it was mainly for the action, destruction, manipulation, gore, battles, sex scenes, heroism, explosions, vulgar jokes, etc.

Often I looked the internet for disgusting images or clips, it felt satisfying, I got high from it just by watching. For example, pictures er clips of victims of war, crocodile users, genital mutilation,  train suicides, torture, etc. (mentioning these is causing me a lot of cognitive dissonance right now).

Regarding music taste, it was stuff like black metal, emoviolence, screamo, deathcore, noise, porno/goregrind, hard bass, aggrotech, trap, industrial, harsh EBM, etc. You get the idea.

I didn't have a tendency towards physical violence... well I was angry, but I worked it out on myself through self harming behaviors, using those to show others they were driving me too far. (Poor me control drama?) It always felt I was right though and I had to show the other what damage they were causing if things didn't go my way. It didn't feel like things not going my way, it felt like things not going the way they should, not being treated fairly, subconsciously assuming I was entitled to everything. Also, I've been told I guild tripped people.

Also, I felt a feeling of satisfaction if an ex-partner engaged in self-harming or suicidal behavior, I felt like it was what they deserved for not living up to my expectations.

Also what I did when people blocked me on social media is gossiping about them, when I did so it felt like the other person had no reason to block me and it was betrayal by doing so thus I had the right to do so. Often it's not a good idea to block stage red people on social media as it enrages them if they notice and then will blackmail you. They will show people screenshots of every secret/delicate thing/crime you ever admitted. Playing grey rock is often way more effective. Try to seem boring, uninteresting, short, repetitive, etc. If you make new Facebook posts make an exception on visibility so they cannot see them, except when you are posting about religion, socialism/communism (stage blue stripped of God), methylation disorders, a video about the health effects of healthy eating, perhaps a spiral dynamics video... anything that has any chance of helping them transcending stage red.

Summarized people in stage red feel like fulfilling ones short term desires is the ultimate righteous goal and other people are out there to provide it for them. If they don't do so they are 'bad' people and they deserve to suffer and/or die, preferably the former though. The way I thought about that was: The only wrong about murder is that a dead person can no longer suffer. Often I told things like this as dark jokes to my metalhead friends, but I actually meant it.


Typing all of this gives me a very weird vibe, cognitive dissonance? Because some part was used to get dopamine off these - sadism was the best feeling I knew - I still get the same feeling now, however it feels worse than any flow, happiness, love plus a feeling of repulsion. This gives me a strange sweaty vibe. I don't like it - it feels horrible - even though my ego still feels attracted to it somehow as it's conditioned to get dopamine from such kind of things. One could call it negative pleasure, pleasure but it's feeling very bad, a low high.


After getting past this all there was a lot of initial guilt, shame, fear, insecurity and self-judgement. This was a period in my life I took the bible very literally. I even literally thought of God as an old man with a long white beard sitting on a cloud in the sky, surrounded by angels with yellow halo's above their head. I think it helped me a lot to progress. However, thanks to Leo, I came across the model of spiral dynamics this aided me to see things into a higher perspective... now I know he actually is a bald man running this website ;-P

Right now I do feel empathy, love, flow, gratitude, forgiveness (including self forgiveness) and I'm looking towards expanding.

I meditate, exercise, further cleaning up my lifestyle.


Hopefully I gave you some insights which could help yourself and others.

If there are anymore questions, please shoot!


PS: Leo, if you read this, your video about stage red covers a lot and it was very helpful. Thank you so much! I do feel it's seriously lacking in some areas. Especially the section about transcending from red to blue could be expanded a lot. I have a friend who also transcended stage red through a low histamine diet and meditation. Feel free to use any of this as material to make another video on transcending stage red. Perhaps make a short one too with a lot more framing & action aimed at stage red people themselves as they usually have short attention spans. Everything which doesn't instantly produce dopamine is boring to them, there has to be action, heavy music, etc. Make it a bit edgy as the concept of edgyness is basically the whole red vibe summarized in one word. I think it's best to avoid anything that could be seen by them as attacking their ego because they will push them further into red. Perhaps make a little side-YouTube channel with 10 short 10 minute videos aimed at stage red. Also don't hesitate to ask any additional questions.

Edited April 28, 2021 by Hap E-Boi
Added a few lines of content

[DIDego]

@Hap E-Boi Glad to hear you made it and now are here and can share. Courage! 

Wonderful and a perfect perspective, for them who not understand, from own similar experience them self 

 

[Hap E-Boi]

8 minutes ago, DIDego said:

@Hap E-Boi Glad to hear you made it and now are here and can share. Courage! 

Wonderful and a perfect perspective, for them who not understand, from own similar experience them self 

 

It turns my gut upside down to write about this. Not want to use a “poor me” control drama here, just want to give you an idea of what the cognitive dissonance feels like to give you further insight.

Never before did I summarized it this complete, especially not in public.

I'm glad I found a place like actualized.org where people are not judging very harshly like in most of society.

Posting this gave me some kind of relief, adding to that, your answer made my day since it gave me a feeling of finally being understood by someone.

I cannot thank you enough!!

Edited April 27, 2021 by Hap E-Boi

[DIDego]

@Hap E-Boi

[Hap E-Boi]

I think as long as we treat stage red people as 'bad people' they will be exactly that "Psychopathy is incurable". If we can see through their amoral behavior and understand these people have an underlying stressor, whether this is a chemical unbalance, deficiency, food intolerance, past trauma, ongoing abuse, rejection. If we try to take that stressor away from them, instead of overloading them with judgement and punishment, beautiful things can happy. People dwelling in stage red are the ones who need our love the most. This man describes it very well:

 

Edited April 28, 2021 by Hap E-Boi
Typo correction