Money Problems

[AlmostActualized]

Several of my friends have money problems, including my sister. It's not like they don't have good jobs, my sister has a really good paying job as a professor at SDSU and my parents sometimes still help her pay for stuff. Yet she always has the latest fashion and newest iPhone, I swear I have seen her closet and she still has clothes with tags just hanging.

I believe my sister along with millions of other people have gotten brain washed by the system that they need to have the latest and greatest.

I really want to help my sister and close friends but when I try, they tend to get mad. I have tried so many approaches but they have all failed, they are still barely making ends meet. 

Any thoughts on how I should approach them, would be greatly appreciated.

[Boss]

Well you could say you should try to use limited resources because most industries destroy the earth to make what you're buying. I mean kids have been caught working in Apple factories and the pay is obviously crumbs and plus the multiple suicides made apple put suicide nets up. And you're just going to keep buying a new iPhone every year when the old ones work perfectly fine?

But that will just make them more mad. What approaches have you tried? 

[Ayla]

@AlmostActualized ,

When somebody says they don't want/need your help, TRUST THEM!

 

[Darkling27]

The best way to help others in my experiance is to become the example and let them come to you if they want help. 

The truth is, giving advice to people who don't really want it will only make them dig their heels in and resist you even more.

To really help people, they need a change of paradigm, which they can only do themselves. You setting an example that shows how much better off they could be, will help that happen.

Also, you need to come to terms with the fact that you can't 'save' everyone. I've tried to help my parents with their terrible diet and declining health for years...

Hope that helps 

Edited February 10, 2016 by Darkling27

[Leo Gura]

Two great suggestions above.

Changing family is like pulling teeth.

[Denis]

Great advice above.  Sometimes you just have to let things run their course.  Its what happened to most of us on actualized.  We at some point realized we needed to change and that point hasn't come for them yet.  Like Ayla said you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves YET.

[MIARIVEL]

Oh I was this girl, I didn't have to pay rent and I had a good paying job and I bought everything I could ever want. I had my family and boyfriend at the time telling me to stop the impusle spending and save, but I always thought to myself, life is to short to save.

Until the day came I had to move out on my own, start paying rent and bills and then I went through a period where my whole mindset on money shifted. I met an accountant (who I worked with) and he taught me a lot about money, budgeting and saving in a way that made sense to me. I knew at that point I really needed to get serious about how I spend my money and getting used to living without certain things. 

The mind shift about money comes when the person is open to it. If their not, then there is no point keep trying to save them if they don't want the help, they will learn when the time comes for them to learn how to manage money better.

[AlmostActualized]

@Darkling27 Makes perfect sense thanks for your point of view. 

@MIA.RIVEL Yeah my sister is still definitely that girl you once were, hopefully she wakes up. But she just makes so much per year idk if she ever will. 

Okay no more worrying, I wont try to save her, fuck it, she'll learn.

@everyone Thanks for all your advice/viewpoints.

[DreamSpirit]

You're definitely right about the latest and greatest syndrome...that's been the crutch of consumerism in the American economy for so long.  The best you can do to help them is not lend them money.  They need to feel the burn and have that reality check.

[Argue]

Well there's a problem... Some people never learn about saving money and stay broke their whole lives. Especially here in NYC, it's sad people spend their income tax checks in an hour on new Jordan's. 

Its important we save but people don't care about 10 years from now, etc. 

Some books I can suggest (anyone reading this): 

• Rich Dad Poor Dad
• From Flipping Burgers to Flipping Millions 
• Psych Yourself Rich
• Accountant textbooks (used ones from Amazon, most recent editions of course) 
• Financial Literacy For Dummies 

 

Edited February 13, 2016 by Argue

[Ike Carter]

You can't change peoples perspective.

Producing a level 8 teaching are understandable for people at/above a level 8.

Trying to teach a level 8 teaching to people at a 4 is like trying to teach Calculus to someone that hasn't even learned their algebra yet...

 

 

[Son of leo]

Do what you think is right.

[Greys0n]

Well you can suggest her to take a payday loan. For example I use this service mirrorpay.com and I can choose an offer that meets my financial needs. When I have money emergencies it's the best way to get fast cash. But she must learn to plan her own budget wisely.