Is it bad that I don't want to have sex outside of a committed relationship?

[soos_mite_ah]

@OceanRiver I'm trying to figure out whether or not what I'm trying to do is socially conditioned and I'm just deceiving myself into thinking those are my needs or if is actually authentic to me. 

 

[Etherial Cat]

On 13/04/2021 at 3:31 AM, soos_mite_ah said:

Yeah that is something that I try to be careful about lmao. 

Sure there are times that I catch myself getting impatient and I want to just get it over with but I try to recenter myself so that I don't impulsively do something I actually don't want to do and end up having a bunch of regrets. I mean, I want my first time to be nice lol and to me that means having some degree of commitment and emotional intimacy. To me that's a higher priority than acting on impulse. I don't think I would even enjoy it if I went on a whim and decided to have sex with anyone who was willing. 

@soos_mite_ah I understand your standpoint.

Females are often pressured to behave like stage orange males and consume sex at all cost nowadays.

Just wait until one who is worth it shows up.

On 13/04/2021 at 3:31 AM, soos_mite_ah said:

 

There is that too. Sometimes I find myself getting tempted to lower my standards out of impatience. Deep down I want a guy who is pretty conscious but then my scarcity mindset kicks in and is like "you know, men are sexual and visual creatures and if you keep up what you're doing whether it's your standards and boundaries, you're just going to wind up alone because lets be real you're asking for a lot and that's a tall order to fill considering what's out there. Get over yourself and accept this truth about men. The only reason why you don't want to accept this harsh truth is because it doesn't serve your survival agenda." TBH I always knew this was the voice of insecurity and anxiety but after writing this out it becomes even more blatant. Part of me thinks that I've been on here too much so there is that......

On one hand, this method has caused me to be single for 21 years and thus resulted in a lot of pent up emotional thirstiness but on the other hand, it has caused me to avoid a lot of unnecessary risks, heart break, and messy situations because I have been sticking to my standards from the beginning and that peace of mind is priceless imo. 

21 years old is still quite young. And conscious guys do exist, it's just that they aren't to be found in every street corner. 

And forget  about it being part of having a survival agenda. I think you are just asking for a guy who's there because he's interested in you beside just penetrating a random moist vagina. This is just having standards on being treated properly during, and after sex.

[soos_mite_ah]

@Etherial Cat Thank you. I think I needed someone to knock some sense into me lol. 

I think it will serve me better to be patient in the long run. 

[Etherial Cat]

8 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

@Etherial Cat Thank you. I think I needed someone to knock some sense into me lol. 

I think it will serve me better to be patient in the long run. 

It's normal to doubt yourself as a large proportion of society isn't validating your choice.

This will keep on happening a lot in your life.

Stand your ground and maintain your integrity. We all try to do this a lot in this forum, but mostly regarding other subject.