The Dark Night Of The Soul

[Denial]

I'm not gonna repeat what my problem is, but I'm desperately looking for something that can make me look at life in another way. Please share your insights. I'm literally living in hell right now. 

Edited April 11, 2021 by Denial

[Denial]

@neutralemptyThanks for your help ❤️

[snowyowl]

I find it helps to leave the place where the problem is for a while, go somewhere else and contemplate my life from a distance. Go for a long walk in nature, travel, have a day out perhaps. 

Also if there are others you can open up to confidentially who may have a different, outsider's perspective it may help. We're not so unique as we like to think, many others have the same problems, you're not in this alone. Take care and very best wishes. 

Edited April 12, 2021 by snowyowl

[wwhy]

The answer is hidden within the pain. Accept it. Listen to it. Watch it.

[NatureB]

The only way out of hell is through. Keep going.

[Mosess]

@Denial It is HELL, Pure HELL. 

E.M.B.R.A.C.E it, LOVE it as much as you currently hate it, if you can't, Hate the fuck out of it. Cry your eyes out if you want to. Get angry, Go to the gym and beat the hell out of a punching bag. You will experience ALOT of emotions during this phase. EMBRACE! <3

You Are Growing! This IS growth! Keep reminding yourself of that when your at your lowest. You are in the right direction, even though it won't feel like it. 

 

 

 

Edited April 13, 2021 by Mosess

[Nahm]

On 4/11/2021 at 0:04 PM, Denial said:

I'm not gonna repeat what my problem is, but I'm desperately looking for something that can make me look at life in another way. Please share your insights. I'm literally living in hell right now. 

Trying to move from the current perspective about yourself and your life... to another... requires letting the current perspective go. Maybe the “another way” you’re looking for is really just “not more of the same way”. You may have not experienced letting something go yet, so you might also not know yet that the good feeling of the true nature automatically arises, like a cork that was held underwater, and then let go. 

Notice focus is prior to thought. When you say “I’m not gonna repeat what my problem is”... you’re focused on the “that there is a problem”... and trying to replace that perspective with a solution. The solution is always letting the “problem perspective” go. 

[jimwell]

On 4/12/2021 at 0:04 AM, Denial said:

I'm not gonna repeat what my problem is, but I'm desperately looking for something that can make me look at life in another way. Please share your insights. I'm literally living in hell right now. 

It is difficult to give you the exact things which might help you because your post is vague. What made your life a living hell? Is it your family situation? Not being attractive to girls? financial problems? childhood trauma? anxiety and depression? Or is it death?

If it is death, it is appropriate to feel miserable and in despair. A sane and sensible human contemplates death then realizes death renders life empty and pointless. It doesn't matter what you do and achieve, you will lose them all in death. DO you deeply understand that? Even if God decided to give you everything you want which makes you happy (money, beautiful women, cars, fame, a YouTube channel which is more popular than actualized.org, Nobel prize, people's approval, etc.). In the end, your life is still empty because those things will disappear when you die. Even all memories of your existence will disappear. From your perspective (which all that matters), it feels as if you have never been born. That realization should crush your soul. But just because it is the truth, you don't need to be stuck in that phase. It is important to continue to grow and to be "at peace" with that truth (takes at least a few years). If there are 2 options (a good, fulfilling life and a bad, miserable life) and it doesn't matter what you choose, it is sensible to choose the 1st option. Don't listen to "enlightened" humans when they tell you "There is no death. Don't worry about it.". That must be what they label as spiritual bypassing. Death is obviously real. Where are your great grandparents? How many millions have died and will still die because of the coronavirus pandemic? When was the last time you went to a cemetery? Even if these "enlightened" humans tell you "Everything is imaginary. Don't worry about it.", don't listen to them. But to be honest, I somehow know it by intuition that everything is God's imagination. It's crazy. But even if it's true, it also means everything is real because there are no distinctions to refer to. And you surely feel pain and disappointment in this imagination.    

If you are living with your family, I recommend you leave your house and live alone (because they are probably toxic and "low conscious"). Be financially and mentally-emotionally self-sufficient to make your life situation sustainable. That is much easier said than done. I am still working on it myself.

Regardless of the forces which make your life a living hell, here are things which are generally good and help make life easier.

  

[Alwaidbzh]

@Denial Hi dude, sorry I am french and my english is not that good but I will try to communicate my compassion with you and my feelings about this process that I am quite sure I'm going through too... 

It's painful as fuck ! This past few months I have acted with people more authentictly like never before... I have even broken few padlocks of my phobia that always stopped me from being myself. 

I thought that everybody is actually kind and well thoughtful and all the causes of the problems were a lack of communication and understanding.  That's how "j'arrondissais les angles" litteraly I rounded the corners smoothly so that I didn't confront directly people even if I told them my point of view as far as theirs it could be.

But apparently I was wrong and maybe it turns out that it is more complex... I've made my first enemie since a long time... Since my childhood ! But I didn't want to. It breaks my heart... I have been feeling like some people of my entourage and colleagues don't recognize me anymore... All my social energy is washing away right now. I'm feeling sad and lost and meaningless.

I've just read @Mosess 's reply and It is powerful ! I'm feeling an incredible energy in me (Love ?) and it is asking to come out. It is still on leash but I'm starting to believe that maybe all my misery is a luck and I must overcome courageously by accepting it and ambrassing it with so much daring that it is dizzy. 

Come on Denial, we can overcome it, we are both this fucking universe who wants to look into his ass LOL