what's next

[HERO_]

 

 

After I realized a lot of stuff of myself ,why I behave\act\this way why I say this and that , why I have addictions how I lie , how I manipulate, the causes for a lot of my triggers  .. what's next? 

I've been stuck for 2 years here I don't know how to go the next step , I can't make sense of anything anymore I feel confused and lost , I can't trust my beliefs and thoughts anymore I have no ground and I stoped feeling anything I'm very numb and nothing excites me anymore because the things that were making feel motivated and excited were there to keep those lies