Thoughts on fear and suffering

[roopepa]

Yesterday I had this experience where I became more conscious of my fears, and how they play into the general suffering in my own life and others.

Basically I realized that I am terrified of existence. The fact that there is colours, shapes, sounds, sensations, or any experience whatsoever, terrifies me. Weirdly, I also realized that in this terror, the thought of death becomes kind of soothing. This might mean that I am more terrified of life than death! What a weird thing.

Then came a new thought. I am reality. How (and why) would reality be afraid of itself? The fact that I am experiencing fear, or any suffering, must mean that there is something I am not seeing "correctly". There must be a misunderstanding from my part!

All suffering is a mere misunderstanding!!

Now, I'm sure you guys can tell me what the misunderstanding is. Let me guess: It's the I - thought. That there is someone experiencing fear. That there even is a reality.

Yeah, you're probably right. Doesn't matter though. I must look into it by myself. I'm the only one who can find the misunderstanding in my own direct experience. What an exciting mission.

Probably the most joyful thing in this experience was that I became a lot more compassionate towards my own and others' suffering. This was the real juice of it. So happy! So excited.

[Nahm]

Beautiful. 

“Fact”

”Understanding”

?

[SoonHei]

@roopepa i love this one: 

suffering = pain X resistance

or better yet:

suffering = sensation X resistance

 

as resistance goes toward ZERO, suffering goes to zero as well

then there's just sensation