Ego backlash from realizing you're alone

[Alistair Kershaw]

Hey I just wanted to share my experience to see if anyone had a similar experience, while doing my spiritual work, I had an awakening that I was the only one in existence, at first it was great but after a few days I had an ego backlash and freaked out pretty bad over the idea and started getting really anxious and paranoid so stopped doing any spiritual work. Have any of you experienced something like this? And do you have advice? Thanks

[VeganAwake]

Yes, change feels threatening and vulnerable to the ego/sense of self.

No need to believe its stories...?

 

[Javfly33]

Inquiry the "you" which thinks that he is alone 

[Nahm]

@Alistair Kershaw

It’s discordant because you’re not the only one in existence. 

[Inliytened1]

@Alistair Kershaw yes i have.  If you go deep enough this is the ultimate consequence of non-duality.  You are alone as God.  It is very hard for the ego to accept at first.  Careful what you wish for...but It will get much better and even liberating and wonderful..  Alone = All-one.

[Tim R]

@Alistair Kershaw The trick is to realize that you invented the problem. 

[Moksha]

You experienced Solipsism.

It is the realization that you are not your conditioned mind, but not yet the realization that you are everything, and every nothing.

We are all the same Consciousness, experiencing life in different states of Self-awareness.

Ultimate reality, relative reality, it is all Consciousness.

[allislove]

20 hours ago, Alistair Kershaw said:

Hey I just wanted to share my experience to see if anyone had a similar experience, while doing my spiritual work, I had an awakening that I was the only one in existence, at first it was great but after a few days I had an ego backlash and freaked out pretty bad over the idea and started getting really anxious and paranoid so stopped doing any spiritual work. Have any of you experienced something like this? And do you have advice? Thanks

'One in existence' means you & existence, but there is only existence. 

[Eternity]

I@Alistair Kershaw I've had multiple ego backlashes for having spiritual epiphanies.  Lately I've been having a string of them.  I've had approximately 3 realizations.  Very key ones.  I've seen how we are all one.  I've seen how we appear as one dream state and can switch dream states and wake up in the midst to another one and then see the alternate just dissolve into nothingness again.  My conscious never disappeared or went anywhere while this was happening.  But for my "progress" if you want to call it that I've had to endure some psychological and physical backlashes. 

Then I stumbled on an Alan Watts'  youtube  (he was a really fabulous philosophy and religion lecture and professor in the hippy era from England) and he talked about what some of the great sages from Buddism and Advaita religions said about rising on the scale of spiritual growth.  A Buddist priest said that there was a problem with growth in empathy, kindness, love for humanity and that was that all progress naturally invites in it's opposite.  There are opposites to everything.  If you look at the Tao which is thought by some to be Budda's work possibly, it lists all the positive growth one can have and for each an opposite which comes from the creation of the positive.  Light/Dark, goodness/evil, strength/weakness and on and on.  The pinnacle means then that you are also bringing evil into consciousness along with the good.  The trick is to balance on the edge of the pinnacle but rest at the point of both good and evil and keep that balance without allowing too much good while keeping a balance so not too much evil prevails.  The ultimate creator  will always keep the balance just as it does the stars and planets we observe as we live out our material life.  He goes into much more detail as he speaks about this principle.  The video and I believe the title is something like "Stop the Chasing." That is when I realized that when we think we are benefiting the world by improving on our own characters, we may be doing harm at the same time.  This has been a puzzle to me and my assumptions.  You can find the video by doing a search on Alan Watts lectures.

[James123]

On 4/7/2021 at 7:14 AM, Alistair Kershaw said:

Hey I just wanted to share my experience to see if anyone had a similar experience, while doing my spiritual work, I had an awakening that I was the only one in existence, at first it was great but after a few days I had an ego backlash and freaked out pretty bad over the idea and started getting really anxious and paranoid so stopped doing any spiritual work. Have any of you experienced something like this? And do you have advice? Thanks

There is no “you” either. 

[Leo Gura]

On 4/6/2021 at 9:14 PM, Alistair Kershaw said:

Have any of you experienced something like this?

Yes

Quote

And do you have advice?

Be patient. Don't make any rash moves or decisions. With time you will integrate the insight and become more comfortable with it, until eventually it shouldn't bother you any more, and in fact you will be even enjoy it.

And there are many other interesting and important insights to have. So as you integrate one you can be ready for more existential mindfuckery. Cultivate a taste for mindfuckery and enjoy it

You are only Alone because we are all Together as ONE.

[John Iverson]

59 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes

Be patient. Don't make any rash moves or decisions. With time you will integrate the insight and become more comfortable with it, until eventually it shouldn't bother you any more, and in fact you will be even enjoy it.

And there are many other interesting and important insights to have. So as you integrate one you can be ready for more existential mindfuckery. Cultivate a taste for mindfuckery and enjoy it

You are only Alone because we are all Together as ONE.

I am scared

I am really really scared Leo.. 

The last one you said i felt the Love 

Love, love love loveeee... my love still not able to face what is inside that really bothers my existence to live without any fear or distractions of self i want to live with less entropy or less noise to maximize my potentiaaaaaal and to live my dream life, i dont wanna live with self sabotaging thoughts that it feels real, or emotions and feelings that is negativelt strong even insanity, how to handle when you experience insanity

Edited April 8, 2021 by John Iverson