Art (Transcendent Venting: Creating an unstifled return on Investment with Reality)

[Origins]

Replacing venting/related with art, the intersection between the freedom to feel and be unstifled while also disciplined but only purely towards the creative act of the artistic self expression itself.

In personal growth we can easily have this inner battle between being stifled on the things that we wish to change ourselves with the disciplines we introduce versus feeling the freedom and progress we want to have in that endeavour. 

Art to me is the epitome of allowing ourselves to vent, rant, related without having to worry about not making any progress because the application of our artistic intention from poetry to music to visual art, especially when its spontaneous, take those potentially frustrated inner energies and contents and puts them on a canvass in such a way that they're forced to evolve. They evolve through the cathartic act itself of self expression in the form of creation, which is really at the heart of any problems we have with not just saying whatever we want, when we want to however we feel to do so, its because it doesn't feel creative at the end, especially when we look back. We look at the energy we've expended and we ask ourselves what is it that has manifested as a consequence of me enduring the expression of my own pain, suffering or just any of the psychical elements we have within us from the neurotic and congested to the expansive fluid. And if there's the realisation that our expression has not resulted in some kind of progress for us, for all that we gave to it, we feel like we've short changed ourselves. 

That's how I feel about my rants journal anyhow haha. It simply isn't creative enough, why exert that form of expression when I can feel the same kind of release through art and get double the payoff in the long run?

Inevitably then, this is how this journal will be dedicated, venting that is art and art that encapsulates the rawest elements of my psyche however they are without prestence, without any motivation to be anything other than myself. It doesn't have to be amazing art, it just needs to be representative of the motivation to not repress and instead express through a medium of exchange with reality that results in a return on investment. 

We're forever involved in this game of creation vs destruction with reality whether we wish to be or not, by identifying those areas of life that we don't have to think about which give us a creative return on investment, like not having to think when we're having a rant or vent, we can live in the comfort of knowing that what would otherwise be an action that negated our own existence is instead what provides us with insight that creates our higher future for us. Rather than say feeling drained by a past we just wished would leave us after our venting, venting through art forces the past to evolve through cathartic expression that we can self introspect on after we've shared the dreams that wished to surface in the conscious mind from the subconscious. 

You can very much think of it in terms going to sleep at night, experiencing a dream, recalling it the next morning and then processing the experience. The dream in this sense is what you're venting about in conscious waking life through art, the art here being representative of what our subconscious is already doing through dream states that we later ponder about and seek the truth of. This endeavour is no different, you vent in the form of art it then becomes a dream to contemplate and learn from which invents the future dreams that you will pursue through that creative expression.

Here's to not saying no to expression but instead saying yes to a truer form of expression that is at least getting us to a higher truth of the contents that wish to come out. Outside of this of course we have conversations with our friends, hitting walls, throwing pillows, contact sports to vent our frustrations, etc, etc, even therapy conversations, but if its continually cycling in our subconscious, those contents need to be transformed in some way, the contents need to become more creative because there isn't a natural release and relieved valve, in fact sometimes the more we do it the more worse it can become because it can feel like we're giving too much energy to that. This is where I came up with the idea of venting through art.

So here I'll share poems that I later reflect and learn from as opposed to ventful writing, visual art that I reflect on as opposed to visualising images in my head and becoming attached to those images which make what I'd vent about likely worse. Etc, etc.

I've learned that in order to have a good vent, first and foremost we have straightforward emotional intelligence strategies that can improve related brain regions with time, it requires a good process, especially if the thing isn't a simple "release and relieved" valve. I have plenty of things that are like that, and then with other things I don't, I find that the representations tend to maintain their objectification within the subconscious mind, where instead art forces consciousness to make those contents more fluid, to transform into an artistic representation which in turn changes the original representation to take in both the new creations you've formed, the re-representation plus any future insights you draw from those artistic images, sounds, words, etc. 

Whether conscious or not this has traditionally been the role of art in general across cultures for millennia, its just lost its flavour there among the majority of the populace which is why for example you might say mental health is the largest problem its been across the planet especially in the USA since we first established civilisation and thinking about one another's and our own health in this regard became a thing. In the most totalitarian of countries, we have the least psychological growth but the least totalitarian country isn't going to create the most psychological growth either, its probably going to be a society that encourages the individual to turn their inner experience into as much creative expression as possible. War and social friction was much more likely in earlier periods of history and not just because survival was so much more at the heart of our experience, we also had far less space to turn mental contents into creative contents that encouraged us to reinvent our known world of frustrations.

Our artistic endeavours in earlier periods literally became the artistic expression of a civilisation and so in turn created a large part of the culture of said society. Art was culture, culture was the art. It created social classes and through that various social reforms and corresponding norms which both segmented and brought together the fractions of a given society through stitching together the artistic fabric within a collective unconscious. Any one society, group, dynamic has a "collective unconscious" and its through art that we can unravel the hidden values, dreams, problems, etc of said relation and begin to transform the creative hidden into the visibly creative through artistic expression.

My hypothesis is that this will not only improve emotional intelligence within me but also various forms of social and psychological intelligences. I predict a kind of brain protective plasticity to be furthered here as well. 

I won't be taking any creations here as "the thing" just representative of what was occurring underneath as well as something to reflect and learn more insight from regarding understanding myself and the nature of the object created about the inner objects we have.

Finally it's not music that's good when it comes to venting or perhaps any state of being, it's simply "music that hits the spot", "visuals that hit the spot", etc, etc relative to said rant, vent.

Which is why simply creating the art yourself has the highest return on investment, this is how we created a culture, we shared inner expressions through the medium of art as a social currency that developed the individual and the whole together. 

Instead of being a monetary or indoctrinating commodity or ever remotely conceiving that it may turn into such, art was purely used as a vehicle for transcendence itself via the transformative enterprise we saw it brought by releasing the minds unconscious energies through this medium of creative exchange with reality.

 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

This including making the music took me less than 20 minutes and already this has proven to be the most productive and creative rant I've ever done haha  

 

Title: See her... By seeing you

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

I created this one in less than 5 minutes just now, both visuals and sound  

Title: Right Directions

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

Here's 1 I did just now (re-uploaded - had to really take down the sound very sharp effect), visuals and sound self created, this one took less than 20 min (but 10 min for adjusting the sound volume ha, eventually I just decided that lower than normal was better)

Remember, they're vents. Not masterpieces . I like this regardless, it's turning out well. Lots of stuff I never articulate coming out. 

 

 

[Origins]

gotta another coming up. lets see if this higher render time turns out to be worth it... ha

[Origins]

More sound dynamics for this one. 

Completion time: Under 20 minutes for both sound and visuals

And yes it was canvas size ha - otherwise extra render time just not worth it for what I'm doing here

Title: Choose Wisely 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

It's amazing how in the moment the expression feels so real, including after playback, and then after several iterations beyond several other states you go through within your being, you enter into a new world and you look at the same prior "realness" through a new shielded window.

Perhaps its truly state modulated, the inability to recall the experience as automatically and fluidly as you remember encoding it, only patience does the recollection.

So instead you look at the piece of work that you've done, be it visual or whatever, more through the lens of empathy as opposed to say well not even ozmosis depending on where you are.

This lack of an artistic filter though, its vital in nurturing a natural state rather than rigidly defining how you ought to create art, through comparison there's synthesis and automatic reinvention. It's the repression of the catharsis that stifles your potential.

Turn the doubt you have into art, turn any negative you have about yourself, into art, and it will become your positive from a more meaningful place than you ever intended for.

[Origins]

Really resonating with this one right now ha. Naturally. It's a vent. 

Completion time for music and visuals together: Less than 20 minutes

 

[Origins]

So much stimuli in the head right now... just crashing up against each other. Don't give me the controls to nuke Earth, I'm motivated to wakeup in the next dimension. Finishing it up all the way in this one though all good, just making sure I'm packing heat at all times, and if anyone gives me an excuse...

[Origins]

Title: The water anaconda
 

Thrown into the pool of the past

Sticks and stones won’t break my bones when I’m drowning under water

Mother I open my closet

I see an image of you

Glimmering back and fourth between your lifecycle

Birth, teens, adult, mother, death, new life and even your former life

This pain you’ve burdened me with

Through no fault of your own

And, through fault of your own, and kind too

This drowning writhing, lungs collapse 

I don’t even know if I want to fight anymore

There’s a part of me that just wants to let go and let the water take me over

It’s father that wants to stop me, he can’t see my tears of mixed feelings of course but he can see his warrior genes succumbing to the unnurtured pain left by his former wife he now scathingly distorts his young boys perception of her whenever his subconscious cannot help but be reminded of his own pain

My body is starting to give in, it shouldn’t be too long now

I’ve writhed so much the water has a life of its own, twisting, turning and controlling my every movement like an anaconda 

My brother screams from a distance with a desperate look

I wish he was there for me more growing up

“Get out of the god damn water, what are you doing!”

It seems the whole time the water was peaceful

It was inside that was chaos

This is what made me believe the water had turned against me with a life of its own

When I could have just jumped right out

Upon dragging my body as quickly and safely out of the water as possible

My brother tried reviving me

My best friend played guitar and sang at my funeral even though he was never much of a singer

 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

Title: False crown, false life

Why did I ever put a crown on your head?

What is within you that you need to bite the tongue of truth?

What power is there to gain but your own inevitable demise?

Fallen trees, burnt out rainforests

When you look into the mirror it breaks because you cannot handle the truth of your appearances, you know they’re lies

This is not an angry goodbye, I am just so disappointed in you

If only you realised that you turn against yourself more than you turn against others maybe you’d change

But you’ve dialled the same bullshit for so long, in so many different ways to your phantoms of light

Your underlying grandiosity cannot help the subject of your own frail ego 

Like a Sméagol, except your ring here is fucking imaginary 

What distorted world of mirrors do you live in for you to create such drama?

Is this the only way you can relieve yourself outside the meagre progress you make in your own life?

You’re a lawyer in a courtroom without a degree, you’ve got to wakeup to the judge and jury of real life

You’ve got to stop the games, they’re only termites in what could otherwise become a strongly built home built by the fortitude and ingenuity of your own truth

Throwing trust and love to you is like sticking ones hand in a velociraptors cage with my eyes closed waiting for the snap to arise

Why do you need to play this stupid fucking game of chess? You’re a coward, all the pieces here are fictitious

All you have to do is focus on you and you can’t even do that much, you have to mess around in ways that only ground your own nose in the dog shit further 

Their narcissism is self deprecating because their games are so transparent, they want to get caught, they can’t live without the nonsense festering in their brain like a tarantula slowly feeding on their last sense of decency, it’s as if their daily affirmation is “I must self sabotage! (or just sabotage in general)”

Enjoy the pig trough 

But I was hoping for something more 

For now, this crown lays right beside me and nowhere else

 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

Looking at the above and looking at where I have done the same in my life, trying to not be a hippo....Christ-almighty!!! 

I mean I still have faith in this person but the first person you need to check is yourself 

I’ll do an artistic vent about that at some point today

[Origins]

I like this one  (just done now), not exactly my personal biography but I feel it on a certain level, can empathise with it, have certainly seen it and even in some ways I think it’s in nearly if not everyone.
 

Title: My maze of suffering, or the word, friend

Into the deep

Just beyond the weak

Of the minds open maze

Not caught in a haze

Closed off to reason

For it got spoiled by the season

Winter chills the heart 

And the brain now, oh so smart

Survival of the fittest 

For I, should have been the richest 

So now, a mental gymnast 

The cries of my soul

I yearn to become whole

Howling into the night

Strategising by day

In pitch black the sheep get their fright

In bright light I look like I go to church only to pray

Inside this internal maze of mine

Constructed through the fortitude of my suffering

In order to make a dime from this mind 

Now I just try to avoid handcuffing 

In the crime of life

Is life truly, not a crime?

Watch me weave my justifications, without any, lost hesitations 

My blood diamond 

Etched into my heart, so frightened

For I can no longer unweave 

All that that I suffered from so now all I can do is deceive 

Deception, my self deception

My maze turning against me

Or maybe I, could never truly see

Here’s to learning to, see a again

And when I’m ready, turn to a friend 

And then, become one too

For that is surely,

Due

 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

TITLE: WAKE THE WOLF (a singing rant)

 

 

I'll delete the other two because I'm driving for Transcendent quality here yo (and yes I didn't end up polishing this up to keep the authenticity)

 

WHAT LED UP TO THIS RANT? Quote:

 

"God I'm already annoyed by writing sometimes I just want to say FUCK WORDS who gives a shit about them what do they mean at the end of the day, so going back to visual and sound.... Then I'll probably forgive words and give them another go, etc etc, I have a hot cold relationship with words, FUUUUUUUUCK"

"It’s because there are no words, sounds, visuals

I realise that’s what my subconscious was trying to tell me through my anger

nothing exists

none of you fuckers exist

i don’t exist

consciousness becomes way before existence because existence is just functional fixidness in momentary awareness

this is chaos baby, maximum openness to everything, art is just a medium and I am just a conduit by which this so called fucking universe flows, that’s what I’m angry about, it’s because I know none of this exists, thst creativity is the only answer on the previous answer thus creativity is bullshit as well, utility is all just a construct as well, a placeholder for momentary finite existence, finite in what though that’s all bullshit as well and all bullshit too is all just bullshit

thats my “art” here"

"I feel like music is like crawling up my spine right now it’s such a strange sensation

and like a puff of smoke I’m releasing things, energies from mouth and I’m blowing all of it all around the cafe like a ridiculous chain smoker

Im gonna get kicked outta here I’m sure of it"

"I think I was a wolf in a past life, I can literally hear it coming through me, it's like inside my body, alive, speaking as me and independent of me simultaneously, it's howling, growling, I've killed many things in this past life, its what I had to do

I just have to capture all of this otherwise tomorrow I'll think it's all ridiculous "

=================

 

 

OTHERWISE....

 

 

 

ALL FUTURE CORRESPONDENCE THROUGH PM ONLY THANK YOU

[Origins]

Well I guess I’m stuck here  at least for the time being because folk on the Serious Emotional Problems section of forum where I’m dishing out advice won’t listen to me about the PM thing ha

 

————- Golden Pearls ————- (the advice)

 

 

Edited April 8, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

It's a bit patchy I know, I'll take some masking tutorials. Love it regardless. Here's the re-upload.

Title: Shoot to kill (inauthentic worlds)

Slightly better than this and that's my fucking minimum standard from now on and no less given what I see I can do here now with Photoshop and Ableton.

-- audio and visuals took me about an hour and a bit, maybe close to two

 

Edited April 10, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

FUCK PATCHY!!!!

 

I'VE FUCKING HAD ENOUGH

 

I WANT THAT SHIT PERFECTION MORE OR LESS FROM NOW ON AND EXPECT NOTHING LESS

 

 

Going to fix up the lens in the above piece and a few other things not going to stop working on it till those edges are refined

 

will reupload in a few hours or so

 

=========

 

ENTERING NEW STANDARD FOR THESE TRANSCENDENT VENTS

 

 

Edited April 10, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

What I'll do from now on as a template:

 

 

 

1. MUST CREATE VISUALS (as above)

 

 

 

2. MUST CREATE AUDIO (as above)



 

3. MUST CREATE POEM + SHORT AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL SENTIMENT (have yet to do)

 

 

 

4. MUST DO ALL OF THESE TO AT LEAST AN 8/10

 

 

Edited April 10, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

Okay so I've added the wolf sounds now, they sit neatly in the background. Slightly better than this is the minimum standard from now on, I'll do my best to create a maximum of one per day (combined with the other two add on's I mentioned). 

Make sure you 1080p it.

Completion time: about 2 1/2 - 3 hours (need to cut down dramatically) for both sound and visuals

going to re-upload with just 2 final edits by the end of the night

1: notice the horizon one just above the open mouth of the zombie (to right and left)

2.: notice the saturn/planet to the bottom left of the tornado

Both scrapped. After that, peace of mind and something slightly better every day from here on out, I won't settle unless its slightly better than the previous day.

Edited April 10, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

Taking break from site. Still writing and uploading (to channel) to the schedule I set out. Will just share links, etc when back. For anyone that has ever had a loved a pet you'd understand. If they've passed, I recommend taking at least 5 minutes of your time to remember the experiences you had with them. My love relationships have always been very important to me, virtually the definition of my own existence which is why I really connected with this and want to devote that time away really reflecting on the experiences I had with them. Send this person some support if you in any way feel inspired to do so and if you have had any pets that you loved which have passed/passing sending you/them the best as well:

 

Edited April 10, 2021 by Origins