Self talk

[Preety_India]

. Need to focus on this a lot more often. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Now focus on consolidation and integration. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India you need to be stronger than you are. 

@Preety_India it's time to focus on implementation baby. Focus on your purpose. Skills. Devote your time to good things. And sleep well 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Everything is set and done. 

I just have to relax. It's the final chapter of all the theoretical stuff that crammed and squeezed into this space, all I have to do now is gear up for all the practical stuff 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India  just limit your interactions with people. Take care of yourself. 

Do not worry. It will be alright. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India I feel so lonely and I'm trying so hard. 

I just want to talk to myself.. 

I want to push everything away 

Because everything is a threat. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India I feel so lonely and I'm trying so hard. 

I just want to talk to myself.. 

I want to push everything away 

Because everything is a threat. 

I just want love love love love 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India talking to myself makes me feel calmer. 

Everything else appears fake and phony and without affection. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India just be on your own profile. That will bring you mental peace. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India sometimes I'm so tired of everything and there's not much energy to write more about it. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India learn to have stricter and stricter boundaries. This is your new self and it suits you perfectly Preety. 

There's nothing to be ashamed of. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India so I really don't know, which one is worse, a person with a wicked heart, or someone who is plain toxic. 

Someone who is plain toxic is just bad enough. You really don't need them in your life. 

There are a thousand thoughts going through my head right now, it's difficult to jot them all down simultaneously.  It's so clogged up in my head and then I've to keep sorting it out.. Not an easy job. 

You don't need toxic people because they create some extra clutter in your life, experience is good enough on its own, but experience too comes with its own price.. 

Sometimes I feel these journals have given me a new sense of meaning and being. I could be here in my own lane, feels like I'm being a hermit in my own way, in my own life, doing my thing, it suits my introverted personality really well. What If I go back into my shell, would that be really good for me, in a way I can silently keep doing whatever I want, wouldn't that bring a lot of sense of peace and relief, being in this reclusive state, I've been mulling over it since the past few days, how it would really work out for me.. Just following my hobbies, my interests and my work and having nothing to worry about as you live in your own little world, what could possibly go wrong in all the peace and quiet. 

Why not just dismiss everything and call it quits once and for all and be on my own, surrounded by my own energy and see how it feels. Is this a new door opening for me and telling me that this is how it should be. 

That I should once again close off to the whole world and that's exactly where I would find peace again, since my own energy is lissome and graceful and enough to be a permanent source of beauty and splendor.  

I really don't know. 

There has been so much pain, so far that at the end of the tunnel, I might finally see light. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India it takes time to do this process. You just have to close off more and more, bit by bit everyday and gradually so, it's like a process of construction. It will happen over time. 

Once you're in it, you will begin to discover a new you, bathing in your own energy. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India once I do this I'll never be the same. 

In a way, it's a relief. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India In my fantasy imagination, I see myself climbing  hurriedly down a narrow flight of stairs into the basement of an old abandoned building, holding a newspaper bundle or a journal in one hand and a cup/can  of coke/coffee in the other. I just want to disappear into the building like a ghost. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

@Preety_India

Or maybe I was playing with the wind. Once again all that carelessness or should I call it freedom. 

 

 

Or playing with curtains, snuggling my body within the folds of transparent fabric. Whisking myself into another world, another time.

 

 

 

 

Or running like a little girl through the hallway lined by flowing curtains waiting to greet me. 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

@Preety_India or dancing all alone in my room. 

 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India  you won't get any love and affection in this world, that's guaranteed. But hey, you can dance with the wind or play with the sheets. 

Yes on an evening I just want to hop and snuggle into the sheets and let the cold breeze from the window pass over me.. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I love watching sunset through the window. 

Sometimes the best gift is the gift of being alone. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Preety_India or just jumping around generally for fun. 

Do what makes you feel better.