Love and Violence (romanticism)

[Preety_India]

I have begun to find violence attractive. 

 

[Preety_India]

I don't mean actual physical violence. 

I mean something that generates extreme negative energy. 

That positive and negative energy are two sides of the same coin. 

Love and Violence are the same. 

Love is gentle. Violence is brutal. 

Love can uplift and violence can pull up. 

Both do the same job. 

One is to grow, the other is to protect 

 

 

Many years ago I had written in my journal, that there are only and only 2 forces in the universe - growth and protection. You see that in nature as well. 

My prime nature is love. My complementary nature would be violence. 

That is what will fulfill me is the magnetic opposite of what I possess. This is the law of the universe. Opposites attract.. 

I will be attracted to the diametrically opposite of me 

If I'm the  Christ, I'll be attracted to the Anti-Christ. 

If I'm the Hero I'll be attracted to the Anti-hero. 

 

[Preety_India]

In this essence, I use the archetypes of the duck and the dragon. 

The dragon being a ferocious reptile or lizard, such as the komodo  dragon. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 5, 2021 by Preety_India

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India hi, I know that this is none of my business, but have you thought about taking a break from all those thoughts about relationships, and boyfriends and even from this forum in general and allowing yourself to rest and recover? You look really exhausted.

Also, it seems to me that you are focusing to much on external stuff and hoping that it will make somehow fix you. But it just can't. No perfect boyfriend will be able to save you, no dream relationship will fulfill you, you will have to do it yourself.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, BornToBoil said:

You look really exhausted.

How do you know that? 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India I don't know, I might be wrong. It's just the vibe I get from reading your posts as if you were squizzed like a lemon.

And you are like almost 24/7 on this forum. I know it can be really helpful, but also tiring and addictive.

Is your sleep ok?

Edited April 5, 2021 by BornToBoil

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil I don't sleep. 

Last time I slept was 2 days ago. 

 

I crashed out of exhaustion 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil I mean I have turned into a mental case. And I'm aware. 

I have developed a weird addiction to boyfriends. 

I broke up with my current boyfriend recently. 

 

I'm going through something but I don't know what that is. 

Right now I want a break from relationships. 

So I'm imagining boyfriends to fill the gap. 

 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India that sucks...

I think you should just ditch internet altogether for a while as much as you can and go for a walk or something.

I remeber when I used to just scroll reddit non stop. It can really fuck your mind up. And the worst part is that it's hard to pull yourself out of it.

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil I'm not looking to pull myself out. 

And I'm not looking at this as an addiction. 

I see this as regular therapy. 

It's not helpful in the moment because I'm crashing it at high speed. 

But over time I will mellow down into a routine where I will follow a discipline in writing and emotional composure. 

These days I'm experiencing a surge emotionally but even if it's very exhausting, it's quite rewarding. 

When I sit the sack, I feel better that I let it all out of my system and let all the good thing in. 

 

My imaginary boyfriends are really helping me with my emotional control. I need them. 

 

Not gonna risk a real relationship and let my head get fucked over again. Nah. That would drive me to the edge. 

I want a boyfriend for the future. 

But right now break time. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil so you are a nice Ukrainian sexy fella? 

 

Don't take me seriously. I'm not going to romance you. Just a bit flirting. I'm a serious flirt. 

 

 

[BornToBoil]

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

So I'm imagining boyfriends to fill the gap. 

For me it would make things only worse, I think it's better to keep your mind of a thing entirely, but if you say that it's helping you, then it's alright I guess.

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@BornToBoil so you are a nice Ukrainian sexy fella? 

 

Don't take me seriously. I'm not going to romance you. Just a bit flirting. I'm a serious flirt. 

 

 

I would like to come up with some nice response, the only issue is that I don't know how to flirt properly, sorry ))

But thanks, haha

 

Edited April 5, 2021 by BornToBoil

[Preety_India]

 

Romanticising images of a violent looking boyfriend. 

(Okay, I don't really want him to be violent, like who wants that, I just want the flavor and vibe of a guy who is super dominating and tyrannical in a violent way, kinda killer brutal look ) 

 

These images perfectly fit my imagination. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

So traits of this less than ideal but ideal boyfriend. 

• Dangerous 
• Cavalier 
• Possessive (psycho) 
• Violent (vibe) 
• Mean 
• Bully 
• Protective 
• Mentor 

 

 

I want my future boyfriend to have a sense of ownership, like he is owning me every time, both sexually, mentally and emotionally. Psychically. 

Someone who is supposed to drag me out of my darkness by being a Darth Vader of Darkness himself. 

 

The Violent Romeo. The Tyrannical Lover. The Mentor. The Disciplinarian. The Tamer. The Bitch. The Oppressor. The beast. The Punisher. The  brute. The bully. The creep. The Powerful. The Tyrant. 

 

Edited April 5, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I want a boyfriend who knows how to put me in place when I'm going out of line or getting cocky or frivolous. 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 5, 2021 by Preety_India

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India Oh, I actually thought that you were talking about someone like Michael Corleone or Tyler Durden.

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil I don't like those mobster /gangster or WWE or Sylvester Stallone types. 

They are not my types. 

I was imagining a rowdy street type mean  punk. 

I'm thinking about his physical attributes. More like in the pictures above. Men don't realize this but looks can be a killer, like that curtain haircut on the guy. Johnny Depp always has that. Haha, guy knows girls still like him from Edward Scissorhands. He was my crush when I saw him in that movie for a few weeks. Dude can pull off the desperate Romeo look. 

So the other physical attributes are 

Skinny. Tall skinny. Not too tall. I'm 5, 6" so maybe a couple inches more like my ex was 5, 9"and he considered himself short. So maybe 5,11" or 6. 

Then hair color and eye color doesn't matter, whatever it may be. 

But needs to have a killer look in his eyes. Like staring straight into my face and eyes. He got that look. 

Skinny but athletic. I don't want a skinny feeble guy, nothing wrong with it, but I don't feel like he can sexually conquer me in bed if he is lanky slim and no muscle. Like what will I hold during sex? I don't want to see a plain boy chest with no manly muscles (thin arms like tentacles, oh no, that would be a pity) need natural grown man muscle on his arm, not too much muscle, not that gym muscles, no no, that's a no no, that's artificial and cringey, I don't want buff,... skinny, muscular athletic is just fine, I don't want any extra muscle, I want to be able to touch his arms and play with him. 

Nice lips. Because kissing is my main thing. 

Eyes are the most important because that makes all the difference. Piercing eyes that are fiery when he looks at me like he is going to kill me just with his stare alone. Intimidating. Serious look. Yea. 

Flat checks. His face has to be flat. Because any mass on his face will ruin the killer punk look. 

 

[Preety_India]

OK. 

So this is the physical description of the guy. 

I'm thinking about his physical attributes. More like in the pictures above. Men don't realize this but looks can be a killer, like that curtain haircut on the guy. Johnny Depp always has that. Haha, guy knows girls still like him from Edward Scissorhands. He was my crush when I saw him in that movie for a few weeks. Dude can pull off the desperate Romeo look. 

So the other physical attributes are 

Skinny. Tall skinny. Not too tall. I'm 5, 6" so maybe a couple inches more like my ex was 5, 9"and he considered himself short. So maybe 5,11" or 6. 

Then hair color and eye color doesn't matter, whatever it may be. 

But needs to have a killer look in his eyes. Like staring straight into my face and eyes. He got that look. 

Skinny but athletic. I don't want a skinny feeble guy, nothing wrong with it, but I don't feel like he can sexually conquer me in bed if he is lanky slim and no muscle. Like what will I hold during sex? I don't want to see a plain boy chest with no manly muscles (thin arms like tentacles, oh no, that would be a pity) need natural grown man muscle on his arm, not too much muscle, not that gym muscles, no no, that's a no no, that's artificial and cringey, I don't want buff,... skinny, muscular athletic is just fine, I don't want any extra muscle, I want to be able to touch his arms and play with him. 

Nice lips. Because kissing is my main thing. 

Eyes are the most important because that makes all the difference. Piercing eyes that are fiery when he looks at me like he is going to kill me just with his stare alone. Intimidating. Serious look. Yea. 

Flat checks. His face has to be flat. Because any mass on his face will ruin the killer punk look. 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India wow, you are so specific.

What do you mean by nice lips? I never actually thought about it. How can lips be not nice for example?

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil like lips that are small and cute but with enough mass for something to kiss or lick. 

Like what am I supposed to kiss in the below picture??????? haha 

 

..(no offense to those without lips, but I need my man to have lips to kiss) 

 

 

 

 

Now damn those are some lips hungry for a kiss