Torn on whether to drop out of college or not

[Wyeth]

Hello everybody, sort of been a lurker on here for awhile and have barely ever said anything, but I figured I would share my current life situation and see what you guys had to say. 

Anyway, I'm 20 years old, currently in community college, living with parents, majoring in philosophy, and just got accepted to every school that I applied to for transfer next year. However, in this past year I have become increasingly against the idea of completing my degree simply because I believe my life purpose won't require it so the degree could very well end up just being a waste of money and deter me from my LP. 

To provide further context for my situation, my whole thought process about my life and reality completely changed after an intense unexpected awakening I had back in late 2019. Shortly after my awakening experience I found Leo and a couple others who have helped me immensely with integration. And with this, I realized what I really want to do is dive deep into this spiritual work and help heal the world in any way I can. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do though, I'd always loved expressing myself creatively in a variety of ways, especially through writing as I have always been especially talented at it. I also have always loved talking with people about life and life's problems and giving advice, so I thought hmm maybe I could become a therapist or a life-coach or something along those lines. 

But me being only 19 at the time with 3 years of college ahead of me, I didn't really know where to start, so I began making YouTube videos about psychedelics, spirituality, and awakening. I gained some traction within the first year and was able to make the channel into a decent side gig of about $300/month. This was also on top of me being in school full time and working part-time at a golf course so I really wasn't devoting that much time towards it.

I genuinely love making content so I began to play with the idea of this eventually becoming full-time for me. I created a multi-year, rough plan on paper for me to actualize this, and created a full curriculum for me to learn (business/marketing, video editing skills, personal/spiritual development, etc.) But I realized that this plan would be basically impossible to actualize if I was bogged down by the workload and the financial strain of college. However, were I to drop out, I'd still be faced with a struggle regardless because no matter what I am moving out of my parents place because the environment there has become toxic. 

So in either scenario, my LP would have to take a backseat for at least a little while because of either schoolwork or working a near full-time job in order to pay for necessities. However, I think the total load of dropping out would be easier to manage than going to school.

It's a tough fucking decision.  And it's not like I need to make a fortune from it in order to make it either. I just need enough. I'm willing to be frugal. My ultimate goal 15-20+ years down the road is to reach enlightenment and live somewhere in or very close to nature (ideally with my future woman), so my LP plan is to set for me to get to that point eventually.

Although I'm confident if I were to drop out and grind for a few years then I could actualize my LP, of course I naturally have my doubts. A college degree would be a solid safety net were my LP to fail, but I know even if that specific LP were to fail another similar one would hatch because I am so set and stone on pursuing awakening and enlightenment and healing the world. Caving in and working a "normal job" would be an absolute failure for me, not to say I would be opposed to doing that for a couple years if I had to.

For the past two weeks I have been alternating back and forth on my decision whether to drop out or not. It's a huge fucking decision. In my current state of mind my heart says to drop out, but tomorrow I may feel different. I have to decide this month though.

Just wondering if any of you guys had any thoughts or comments about this.

[Preety_India]

I need to watch more of your videos. 

 

[Space]

@Wyeth So young... so young. Trust life more, trust your feelings more. 

A few comments after reading your post...

What do you want?? Are you clear on exactly what it is you want to be doing for the next period of your life? If yes, does a philosophy degree help with achieving that? If no, that is what you need to find the answers for. No one here can help you decide what you want to do in life.

Your youtube channel looks awesome to be honest. You could probably scale this up to something more substantial. Are you posting on a regular schedule? Have you considered improving production quality?

More specifically about your degree - do you even enjoy the course/work? What is the purpose of doing this degree? I'm just trying to gauge why you're doing the degree. Is it going to increase your chances of getting a particular job?

You say living with your parents is toxic but unless its literally abusive or severely effecting your mental or physical health then I would suggest staying with them to save money. I lived with my parents until I was 26. 

[Wyeth]

7 hours ago, Space said:

What do you want?? Are you clear on exactly what it is you want to be doing for the next period of your life? If yes, does a philosophy degree help with achieving that? If no, that is what you need to find the answers for. No one here can help you decide what you want to do in life.

I know what I want long term, and that is to make the channel work and turn into a business enough for me to live off. The philosophy degree doesn't help with that. I love Philosophy don't get me wrong, but I can always learn that on my own. For me though, the socialization aspect of college and the potential females there are what's attractive to be the most, considering I've been extremely lonely during these past 2 years of community college, and I fear dropping out will only contribute further to my loneliness. 

7 hours ago, Space said:

Your youtube channel looks awesome to be honest. You could probably scale this up to something more substantial. Are you posting on a regular schedule? Have you considered improving production quality?

Thanks, and yeah I'm on a regular schedule. Been trying to ramp up production quality lately in the past few videos. Really all I need is to get some better lighting and it will all look very good.

7 hours ago, Space said:

More specifically about your degree - do you even enjoy the course/work? What is the purpose of doing this degree? I'm just trying to gauge why you're doing the degree. Is it going to increase your chances of getting a particular job?

Yeah I enjoy the coursework, for the most part. When I chose my major it was never for the intention of a specific job, but more so because I was interested in the subject, and I was aware that a philosophy degree gives one skills that are valuable in a variety of areas, so after college I hopefully would have a number of options for my path.

7 hours ago, Space said:

You say living with your parents is toxic but unless its literally abusive or severely effecting your mental or physical health then I would suggest staying with them to save money. I lived with my parents until I was 26. 

Yeah staying with them would be the best move financially, but it wouldn't be a good one for my mental health. I wouldn't say it is affecting me severely, but it's definitely affecting me. Basically my parents marriage has been deteriorating for years and my dad has turned into a kind of slob and the energy rub off is absolutely horrible on me and my younger brother. Not that I couldn't withstand it for another year or two, I'd just really prefer not to. Also just being at home I haven't been able to find any like-minded people, making me very lonely. That probably has a worse affect on my mental health than my parents, to be honest.

[Wyeth]

7 hours ago, Zeitgeist said:

Also keep in mind that Philosophy isn't the most lucrative degree anyways. It's just not the type of thing that normally gets you a well-paid 9-5. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the career path for a philosopher would be an academic one, right?

What are your options regarding your degree? Could you put it on ice for a year and continue afterwards? How much do you enjoy it?

Philosophy is a degree that can give one skills valuable in a variety of areas. Philosophy majors actually have one of the higher mid-career median incomes. For me though, it's never been because I was looking for a specific job. I kind of just figured I would have a number of path options if I went with this degree, and it seemed very interesting to me. It's not at all limited to academic philosophy.

I could put it on ice for a year or two theoretically, I mean I'm already halfway done. But if I dropped out, I'd want to commit to that and not go back. If I dropped out, I would embrace the multi-year grind of scaling my channel/business more and not want to look back.

[Wyeth]

@Chrisscholar123 yeah I'd have to pay thousands of dollars, which doesn't seem attractive at all since I don't even think I need the degree for my LP. It's still such a tough decision though, because a degree provides safety were I to fail, and I'm also very enticed by the socialization prospects college would provide. Ultimate though, I like to take Leo's advice in that you can make anything work as long as you have a vision and are creative enough. 

[AtheisticNonduality]

11 hours ago, Wyeth said:

To provide further context for my situation, my whole thought process about my life and reality completely changed after an intense unexpected awakening I had back in late 2019.

Relatable.

[Space]

22 hours ago, Wyeth said:

I know what I want long term, and that is to make the channel work and turn into a business enough for me to live off. The philosophy degree doesn't help with that. I love Philosophy don't get me wrong, but I can always learn that on my own. For me though, the socialization aspect of college and the potential females there are what's attractive to be the most, considering I've been extremely lonely during these past 2 years of community college, and I fear dropping out will only contribute further to my loneliness. 

I think you have the potential to do. I'm quite impressed with your channel to be honest  You don't have crazy views on each video, but its not like you're only getting a few hundred. So I definitely see potential.

The social aspect of college is definitely an important factor to consider. Whilst I spend 90% of my time alone, having friends near by for that remaining 10% is really important. 

22 hours ago, Wyeth said:

Thanks, and yeah I'm on a regular schedule. Been trying to ramp up production quality lately in the past few videos. Really all I need is to get some better lighting and it will all look very good.

Yeah I enjoy the coursework, for the most part. When I chose my major it was never for the intention of a specific job, but more so because I was interested in the subject, and I was aware that a philosophy degree gives one skills that are valuable in a variety of areas, so after college I hopefully would have a number of options for my path.

Yeah staying with them would be the best move financially, but it wouldn't be a good one for my mental health. I wouldn't say it is affecting me severely, but it's definitely affecting me. Basically my parents marriage has been deteriorating for years and my dad has turned into a kind of slob and the energy rub off is absolutely horrible on me and my younger brother. Not that I couldn't withstand it for another year or two, I'd just really prefer not to. Also just being at home I haven't been able to find any like-minded people, making me very lonely. That probably has a worse affect on my mental health than my parents, to be honest.

Damn, sorry to hear that about your parents. Sounds like a tough situation. I guess if moving out isn't going to break the bank then its probably the best thing to do. I was lucky that my home life was quite stress free. 

Looking at your other comments I guess it comes down to whether you have the discipline, work ethic, and strong enough vision to make your goals outside of college into a reality. You got the first step down of actually having those goals. 

Hope some of this helps and aids you in your decision.