If 'success' is not the way, then what is?

[IAmPaulQuinn]

If the traditional 'success' of society is not what should be chased, and it is simply an illusion that won't bring deep fulfillment, then what is?

 

What should we chase? What areas of our life should we really focus on? Money plays a ee too right? Fame has downsides but it also has benefits, right? Please be specific. I am really curious.

 

I know the wisdom of 'just be happy now.' Although, quite helpful, it can be quite hypocritical when you're already rich and comfortable and you give this advice. It's annoying.

[Surfingthewave]

We should chase nothing. 

We should let go of any chasing. 

Have a life purpose absolutely and a spiritual path if that's what you're into but enjoy the journey rather than the destination. 

Look around you at the beauty that is this world. If you don't see this, work on it. 

What can you create? Creativity is where life's richness lies. Money, fame, success are all indeed illusions created by society to make us think it's what we need. 

What makes your heart sing? Do that. 

[IAmPaulQuinn]

29 minutes ago, Surfingthewave said:

We should chase nothing. 

We should let go of any chasing. 

Have a life purpose absolutely and a spiritual path if that's what you're into but enjoy the journey rather than the destination. 

Look around you at the beauty that is this world. If you don't see this, work on it. 

What can you create? Creativity is where life's richness lies. Money, fame, success are all indeed illusions created by society to make us think it's what we need. 

What makes your heart sing? Do that. 

As much as I love the wisdom that you said here, I feel like it's missing.

 

Yes, chase nothing. But I feel like this is utter nonsense, because as humans, we are always solving a problem. What we need is 'better problems.' So the next question is: What problems should we focus on for fulfillment?

 

Yes, enjoy the journey. But of course, having a 'path' or a destination may also help.

 

Yes, creativity adds up to life fulfillment. But saying that 'money is an illusion' just doesn't add up. You need money to pay things. It's not an illusion- it's a real thing that you should worry about IF you want to survive and acquire things that 'feeds your soul.'

 

We wouldn't be able to participate in this forum without paying for our digital devices with MONEY.

 

I'm convinced that BALANCE is everything. Success and Happiness should be instilled in our calendar. Perhaps work first, and then play after.

 

I am only 17 years old, but I still have lots of questions surrounding this topic.

Edited April 2, 2021 by IAmPaulQuinn

[Surfingthewave]

The fact that you are 17 and asking these questions is great, you are on the path aready. You are here. 

What I meant was chasing money is an illusion, like chasing anything. Illusion is a word with lots of heavy connotations , instead of illusion, perhaps chasing money and fame, success etc is a game humans play to justify themselves? 

Money is a tool to get you from A to B. 

There are no problems. Again, problems are just situations we deal with in life. These situations can be viewed as good or bad depending on your perspective. 

Don't start the path in the negative. Start with what you want to achieve and go from there. 

Edited April 2, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[IAmPaulQuinn]

26 minutes ago, Surfingthewave said:

The fact that you are 17 and asking these questions is great, you are on the path aready. You are here. 

What I meant was chasing money is an illusion, like chasing anything. Illusion is a word with lots of heavy connotations , instead of illusion, perhaps chasing money and fame, success etc is a game humans play to justify themselves? 

Money is a tool to get you from A to B. 

There are no problems. Again, problems are just situations we deal with in life. These situations can be viewed as good or bad depending on your perspective. 

Don't start the path in the negative. Start with what you want to achieve and go from there. 

 

Thank you, SurfingWave.

 

I'm guessing that you are a regular consumer and action-taker of self improvement material.

 

I would love your answers on this several questions, so I can selfishly skip the nonsense that our culture shoves in our throats nowadays:

 

1.) What are the life areas that will generate the most fullfillment and happiness in life? (Ex: Family? Health?)

 

2.) I've been realizing that being able to attract a beautiful and stunning GIRLS is what makes me just want to be my best self and conquer the world, and acquire massive resources such as status, wealth, fame and power. Again, is this a trap?

- Note: If pretty girls didn't exist, I probably wouldn't care about seeking power, and seek more happiness in my life. Haha, oh lord, please help me. (It's not like I won't be happy seeking power, I'm all about balance anyways. So I think it's fine. Right?

Edited April 2, 2021 by IAmPaulQuinn

[flowboy]

When people say "I chased success and now I have it and it didn't fulfill me", they don't mean 'don't chase this'.

They mean: "the chase is what made me most happy. now that I have it, I need a new chase to be happy again."

Humans derive happiness from striving for things. The striving creates an illusion that the end result will make one happy, while in fact, you are most happy while in the midst of your striving. The illusion of eternal happiness after you get the result, is just a carrot held in front of you, which serves to keep you motivated and keep you striving.

 

Hope that helps.

Edited April 2, 2021 by flowboy

[IAmPaulQuinn]

6 minutes ago, flowboy said:

 

6 minutes ago, flowboy said:

When people say "I chased success and now I have it and it didn't fulfill me", they don't mean 'don't chase this'.

They mean: "the chase is what made me most happy. now that I have it, I need a new chase to be happy again."

Humans derive happiness from striving for things. The striving creates an illusion that the end result will make one happy, while in fact, you are most happy while in the midst of your striving. The illusion of eternal happiness after you get the result, is just a carrot held in front of you, which serves to keep you motivated and keep you striving.

 

Hope that helps.

 

 

6 minutes ago, flowboy said:

 

 

Yes. The process is what generates happiness.

 

But, this completely disregards Leo's teaching on not chasing success.

 

I'm sorry, but this whole thing is making me confused and makes me think that this topic is utter nonsense and I shouldn't be overthinking too much about it.

 

Here is my real question, and I'll say it again and again:

- What life areas should we actually focus on for fulfillment and happiness? (Ex: Health? Wealth? Family?)

[flowboy]

10 minutes ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

But, this completely disregards Leo's teaching on not chasing success.

I don't believe Leo has a teaching that you shouldn't chase success. His life purpose course is all about that.

10 minutes ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

What life areas should we actually focus on for fulfillment and happiness? (Ex: Health? Wealth? Family?)

Like you said, the process is what generates happiness, so we can cross that variable off.

Here's what remains of your question: "What life areas should we focus on for fulfillment?"

And the answer to that, I believe, is life purpose. Although, for some, family and relationships are the areas that bring most fulfillment.

If you are most comfortable in your masculine energy, it's probably life purpose. If you have a lot of feminine energy, it's probably relationships.

All areas are important, I'm just giving you ideas on what to expect the most fulfillment from.

Edited April 2, 2021 by flowboy

[IAmPaulQuinn]

4 minutes ago, flowboy said:

I don't believe Leo has a teaching that you shouldn't chase success. His life purpose course is all about that.

 

Thank you for responding.

 

And what does this mean? Leo, has a whole topic about not chasing success. Because it's an illusion. Happiness and growth is what you want, he says.

 

Side note:

I really don't want the replies here to be a stage show for words to evoke emotions that is not practical or actionable, as that annoys me.

[Surfingthewave]

@IAmPaulQuinn

The answers to your questions can only be found through the journey I'm afraid, what is fulfilling for me will be different for you. The self help industry have created billions by trying to sell the idea there are steps to success. I won't tell you whether it works, there are no short cuts. 

You're 17, of course you want to chase beautiful people. 

When you get to 37,47 or 57 this will change. 

Good luck! 

[flowboy]

Also look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

It's not a perfect model, but you do need to have the basics of one level covered, before you can start worrying about the next. Example: if you don't have enough money to have a roof over your head (Safety Needs), you're not going to care about life purpose. Belonging needs to be covered too: if you have no one in your life that you are close with, that needs to be fixed before you'll typically care about being fulfilled in your life purpose.

[flowboy]

11 minutes ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

And what does this mean? Leo, has a whole topic about not chasing success.

Where? I did a quick search and found 6 videos by him around how to be successful.

See my earlier point. A certain level of success is necessary. (Because if you are in need of money, you can't do much in terms of life purpose and helping the world in whatever way your life purpose says, which will bring fulfillment, because you're busy trying to survive.)

That does mean you should strive for it. It does not mean that you should expect the success to fulfill you or make you happy.

Edited April 2, 2021 by flowboy

[IAmPaulQuinn]

Just now, flowboy said:

Where? I did a quick search and found 6 videos by him around how to be successful.

See my earlier point. A certain level of success is necessary. That does mean you should strive for it. It does not mean that you should expect the success to fulfill you or make you happy.

 

It's a video titled:

"Successful people are Not Happy."

[GreenLight]

The way is the way.

[flowboy]

Yes I've seen that one.

He doesn't say "don't strive for success", though.

It's more nuanced than that.

 

Also, obviously some successful people are happy, and some are not.

So the title is a bit clickbaity, and I interpret it as: "being successful doesn't mean you are happy". So don't expect the happiness to come with the end result.

The people who are successful and unhappy, are stuck in the illusion that more success will finally bring lasting happiness. And it never does.

The people who are successful AND happy, are striving for something that is meaningful to them, so they are already happy before they achieved the result that they aim for.

Make sense?

[IAmPaulQuinn]

1 minute ago, GreenLight said:

The way is the way.

No offense, I love fancy quotes and cute words.

 

But this is not gonna cut it.

[flowboy]

I should be more specific than "striving is what makes you happy".

 

The further you develop yourself, the higher your standards will be for the thing you want to strive for.

When you're just trying to make some money and you are in Spiral Dynamics stage red or orange, then that strive is perfect for you, and you will feel happiness from chasing money.

But when you get to the higher stages, striving for money is just not good enough anymore. Your consciousness is at a new level, and now you need to strive for something that is personally meaningful to you. Striving for just more money will actually bring unhappiness now.

When people reach stage green, they need different kinds of success to strive for, like striving for social justice and striving to save the whales.

When they reach stage yellow, they again need more fancier goals to be happy, like helping the world evolve in some specific way that they are passionate about.

Make sense?

Edited April 2, 2021 by flowboy

[flowboy]

So, since you like things concrete and actionable:

• Start with what you want most now. If it's money, great, go chase that. If it's sex, great, go chase that. If you are already in stage Green and just want to be an activist for a great cause, start doing that.
• Keep doing personal development.
• Be aware that after you've had some money and had some sex, and did personal development work, you will evolve and need to strive for fancier things in order to be happy (you can keep the money and the sex though).
  
  So expect that, and when that moment comes, do something like the life purpose course, or figure out in some other way (like cultivating intuition) what you need to strive for next. Very often, people find it serendipitously.
  
  Don't get stuck chasing the same thing that gave you happiness in earlier phases of your life, but not anymore.
  That is the trap of unhappy successful people.

Edited April 2, 2021 by flowboy

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

If the traditional 'success' of society is not what should be chased, and it is simply an illusion that won't bring deep fulfillment, then what is?

What should we chase? What areas of our life should we really focus on? Money plays a ee too right? Fame has downsides but it also has benefits, right? Please be specific. I am really curious.

You should chase living an authentic life aligned with your top values, your top passions, helping spread truth, consciousness, love, and beauty across the Universe via which ever way most excites you and suits your unique strengths and talents.

You are right that you should not just sit around twiddling your thumbs. You should be constantly working on your life purpose and evolving yourself towards that end.

Life is short. Don't squander it sitting around in confusion and inaction.

False success is chasing what others tell you is good.

True success is devoting your life to expressing the Love that you have for the world in your unique way, and doing so skillfully and eagerly.

False success will not make you happy, but true success will.

[universe]

Define what success means to you.

Be wise with the definition.

It's ok if your definition of success changes throughout your life.