Brain ruined by SSRIs, I hate myself

[Podie45]

@DIDego Had to take some time off to reflect on the whole situation. Feeling numb today I'd say.

[Podie45]

@ethanb121 Love you too

@Crane Bahnsteik That's part of the mr.happy stack right? 

@Espaim Respects. It truly is a shitstorm!

[DIDego]

@Podie45 Hi!   

Thank you for the update, strong of you checking in even feeling numb.

 

13 minutes ago, Podie45 said:

Had to take some time off to reflect on the whole situation.

Wise choice, nice done 

 

When write here in forum to, especially new members, i have to reflect extra "Is this safe to send, how will this be received and what situation are this person at" before push the "submit reply" button.

[Podie45]

@DIDego I get you. Sometimes, you don't know what could trigger someone. That is mostly how I feel when I try to help depressive&suicidal people on Omegle/Discord groups.

@Leo Gura To be honest, I think I might take a break from everything soon and go in nature on a personal solo retreat:

Not as a way to find an answer for PSSD, of course, but I need a break from my 9-5 / society to finally take a breath of fresh air.

I haven't given up, I've been doing Ketamine which is a NMDA antagonist. It made things worse, which is a good thing.

If an antagonist makes things worse, then it means upregulation / agonists may be what I need to focus on to finally find relief.

[Crane Bahnsteik]

6 hours ago, Podie45 said:

 

@Crane Bahnsteik That's part of the mr.happy stack right? 

If i'm not mistaken the mr happy stack has alpha GPC and uridine, from a mood enhancing standpoint they are very similar, but when it comes to repairing some brain functions i believe citicoline is the way to go, and its way cheaper as well.

[Podie45]

@Crane Bahnsteik What was your Post-Accutane Syndrome like?

Edited April 6, 2021 by Podie45

[Crane Bahnsteik]

21 minutes ago, Podie45 said:

@Crane Bahnsteik What was your Post-Accutane Syndrome like?

Well, i became apathetic and lost all motivation in life, relationships didnt interest me anymore, orgasms were anhedonic, and i could barely leave my room without feeling very severe anxiety, i lost verbal fluency and the ability to make decisions, like ordering food at a restaurant for example (i would just look at the menu and couldnt decide), and also got post orgasmic illness syndrome. 

[Podie45]

@Crane Bahnsteik So is this something you plan on taking permanently?

Yeah, that seemed pretty bad. I'm having cognitive issues as well so I can relate to these other symptoms.

TOP 3 substances to avoid if you're an unlucky person: Finasteride, Accutane, Prozac (or any SSRI lol)

[Crane Bahnsteik]

14 hours ago, Podie45 said:

@Crane Bahnsteik So is this something you plan on taking permanently?

Yeah, that seemed pretty bad. I'm having cognitive issues as well so I can relate to these other symptoms.

TOP 3 substances to avoid if you're an unlucky person: Finasteride, Accutane, Prozac (or any SSRI lol)

Oh no, i stopped taking it years ago. My ed got fixed permanently on the first 3 months, then took it on and off for a couple of years since it made me feel good and more social even at very low doses (50mg/daily), but by personal preference i just wanted to stop depending on it.

I also worked on my diet, removing all sugars and so on, and started experimenting with supplements, zinc, taurine, niacinamide, ginkgo biloba, magnesium, were the ones that worked best for me and i still take them.

If your testicles work fine which i assume they do, hcg or something similiar will also be beneficial, but mind always estrogen control, and also check prolactin levels since ssris can increase it long term.

The best approach is to attack it from all angles, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

From the mental perspective, increasing working memory also works great, this can be achieved by playing dual n back or even playing chess.
On the spiritual side of things, sedona method and releasing techniques also work great.

 

Yeah those 3 can really mess you up, but thankfully we have the internet to research and do everything under the sun to solve these issues.

 

[kag101]

Wow, that must be really tough. I'm sorry to hear that.

Here are some questions:

1) How's your depression ATM? Did you have any episode over the past years?

2) Have you gone to a really good psychiatrist, and talked about your situation? 

 

On 02/04/2021 at 0:48 AM, Podie45 said:

One told me they'd rather have cancer than be in my situation.

What a fuking asshole!

 

[Podie45]

@kag101 1) Some relapses but mostly healed from depression. I do get suicidal though.

2) I don't know any good psychiatrist, they're hard to find to be honest. Maybe an online service would do?

3) I know, it's a fucked up thing to say

[kag101]

17 hours ago, Podie45 said:

I don't know any good psychiatrist, they're hard to find to be honest. Maybe an online service would do?

I don't know. In my country, there's a site where you can search for doctors, and the patients leave their ratings. I found my psychiatrist there.

 

The antidepressant I'm currently taking is not an SSRI, so it is not known for causing sexual problems. It is an SDRI, which stands for selective dopamine reuptaker inhibitor. It is the only medication that really helped my depression.

This might might interest you: I remember reading on the leaflet that it is used to treat the syndrome you're going through.

I have just done some quick research, and it seems that it helps almost 75% of men.

Check this out: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11894796/

 

Anyway, I do not recommend you keep doing research on your own. The action that has the greater odds for you to recover is fo find a way to have treatment with great psychiatrist. I agree that they're hard to find, but they do exist.

[DIDego]

@Podie45 Hi. How are you feeling? 

The day in the week called Friday, are for many a release day, sometimes a party day 

What are your plan for the weekend?

[Zigzag Idiot]

Being on Paxil for a decade, I spent the last 5 years or so in a continual attempt to quit it. Having brain zaps and other symptoms, by self medicating with cannabis I eventually managed to leave the Paxil behind.

Now when possible, I run like hell away from conventional physicians and ‘experts’.

2 hours ago, DIDego said:

The day in the week called Friday, are for many a release day, sometimes a party day 

 

Zigzag Idiots have five Friday’s in each week,,,,

 

[DIDego]

17 minutes ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

Now when possible, I run like hell away from conventional physicians and ‘experts’.

I decided to stay inside the system to learn and of course choose more wisely in what direction i can get help with some issues of mine, how to being able turn this, my experience of pain and suffering, into some durable change, before i walk away.

I dont know how, but a change in mental health field and others fields as well, has to be developed from a perspective both from helpers and who need the help together.

Money

[Zigzag Idiot]

@DIDego That sounds wise.

[Denial]

@Podie45Do you know Dr. K on youtube? He is a very good  psychiatrist  and very into meditation and raising consciousness in the world. I would highly suggest you talk to him about your problems. I'm not sure if he does private conversations, but his audience would probably benefit from talking about your issues in some way. Give it a check: https://healthygamer.ck.page/09c07d7d1d

Edited April 9, 2021 by Denial

[DIDego]

2 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

@DIDego That sounds wise.

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you, for your short and wise answer.

Helps me heal wounds, from earlier experience with "internet trolls"

  

 

Edited April 9, 2021 by DIDego

[AmandaJudge]

Hello. I also suffer with a similar issue, not officially diagnosed because I haven’t told anyone. I feel like I’m just a bunch of thoughts with no genuine feeling behind them, but with that being said, I tend to enjoy my life for the most part because my thoughts are generally happy. I do lots of gratitude work and self compassion/self love work. I spend time with people that keep my thoughts from spiralling out of control. Um... acceptance and forgiveness are two huge cornerstones in my well being. I feel like a phoney human sometimes, a lot of the time, I feel out of touch, fake, not real. But I take it as it comes. I accept it and still look for beautiful things around me and in others. I don’t focus on my feelings as much as I do my thoughts because I seriously lack feeling. I am just a body of thoughts. ? weird to say. But I’ve learned how to act normal in social situations. And I also make sure my intentions are pure, so that I’m a “good” person and do not cause harm to others, or as minimal as possible... I feel you! I interpret my thoughts as feelings. Unstable, fleeting ? but maybe we have different diagnoses because every now and again I get a feeling, but it is fleeting. Followed by a rush of thoughts dissecting that feeling

 

 

[DIDego]

@AmandaJudge Hi 

Welcome, a well expressed first step taken into the forum.

Let out feelings and let feelings in.

 

I have put 1 important tool as reminder on the walls in my apartment, at 2 different locations.

The tool works better then i feel great, but then i feel something less great, i really appreciate have the reminder.

It say's something like this, translated from my native language.

Remember to breath in and out properly!

It helps, especially when going thru hard times.