Difficulty in understand what exactly causes women to lose interest.

[wwhy]

21 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That does not mean you have to say anything sexual. But just by the way you look at her she should feel that if she ever gets alone in a room with you, you will rip off her panties and nail her ass to the wall. Nothing needs to be said. It's your attitude. Look at her like you are a hungry wolf and she is a rabbit. She will feel that and you will never get friend-zoned again. You may get rejected however. But rejection is good, it means she feels your intent and it's just not the right match.

Women are really turned on by a guy who uses his eyes to communicate intent. But she won't look you in the eye if she's not already keen.

[KGrimes]

@Cepzeu  This was my goal at first, after a few attempts at dedicating myself towards pick up and PUA i realized I developed a different mentality towards women, when I look at red pill now, it seems like they have some decent suggestions in there, but overall it just feels too toxic to be related to spirituality. So what I got from this whole topic is that unfortunately, I cannot pursue women and spirituality at the same time, like @Leo Gura said, there's a trade-off. The only thing that does motivate me, is that if I spend some time pursuing women, with my current level of consciousness, I will not be starting from scratch, once that thing is out of the way, and then I could fully pursue spirituality as well. It does, however, feel a bit hypocritical. Pursuing women and sex - pursuing your desires, therefore, you are giving up your ego what it wants, instead of renouncing it. On the other hand, if you are fully conscious of your actions and the reality behind everything, there's no problem, right? This whole thing is just a bit confusing, and I guess there is no right answer.

 

@Emerald I heard women say that I come off as somewhat strict, rude, and unapproachable in the beginning but then they realize I am not that at all and am more friendly and easy to talk to, I guess this could be true, and being friendly and easy to talk to may result in fewer women being attracted to that type of personality. However, I feel, that the true, authentic me, just wants to help people first, rather than connecting with them on a deep emotional level. This probably comes from my anxious/preoccupied attachment style, and the fact that I always felt too much left alone and unattuned to when I was a child, so now I try to give others what I did not have when I was young.

 

@wwhy once again, we have a few different perspectives on this, one says do not look vulnerable, needy, and horny, the other one does. I guess in the end it all depends on your looks and what you achieved in life, right? If you got everything figured out in life BUT sex and relationships, then showing off  your horniness and neediness isn't that bad? But, if you are not successful at all, look below average, and are horny, you are looked at as creepy. In the end, I realised what I always knew deep inside, I need to get out of my head, approach women, embrace rejection, and get this all out of way.

[wwhy]

44 minutes ago, KGrimes said:

 

@wwhy once again, we have a few different perspectives on this, one says do not look vulnerable, needy, and horny, the other one does. I guess in the end it all depends on your looks and what you achieved in life, right? If you got everything figured out in life BUT sex and relationships, then showing off  your horniness and neediness isn't that bad? But, if you are not successful at all, look below average, and are horny, you are looked at as creepy. In the end, I realised what I always knew deep inside, I need to get out of my head, approach women, embrace rejection, and get this all out of way.

Just be you. You are beautiful, you are attractive, you are sexy when you are just being you, without giving a shit about how others respond to that.

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, KGrimes said:

 

@Emerald I heard women say that I come off as somewhat strict, rude, and unapproachable in the beginning but then they realize I am not that at all and am more friendly and easy to talk to, I guess this could be true, and being friendly and easy to talk to may result in fewer women being attracted to that type of personality. However, I feel, that the true, authentic me, just wants to help people first, rather than connecting with them on a deep emotional level. This probably comes from my anxious/preoccupied attachment style, and the fact that I always felt too much left alone and unattuned to when I was a child, so now I try to give others what I did not have when I was young.

 

I wouldn't say that fewer women are attracted to friendly men... in fact quite the opposite.

But if you come off as rude/strict/unapproachable AND you attract women on that basis. And then they find out you're friendly, they may cease to find you attractive because they were attracted to you when you were rude/strict/unapproachable.

It's not true that rude/strict/unapproachable behavior is more inherently attractive than friendliness. It's just that you will attract a certain type... and then when you reveal yourself as friendly and that type will no longer feel attracted because they are attracted to rude/strict/unapproachable guys (probably because they're attracted to avoidant tendencies). 

[StarStruck]

On 3-4-2021 at 2:34 AM, Emerald said:

What might be happening is that you approach women acting one way and try to "game" the situation to where you're likely to get an affirmative response. You may be doing this consciously or unconsciously.

And then, as you start to get comfortable, you start to show your actual personality. And because the person was attracted to you for the facade/game, once they see the real you they will begin feeling differently.

If this is the case, my advice is to watch for inauthentic behaviors that you're employing consciously or unconsciously to avoid rejection... and to do your very best to lead fully with your unique authentic personality.

That will be your best beacon towards women who are your type (which is what women are really looking for)... as opposed to playing to whatever you think the given woman will want and then not being able to maintain the facade. 

The problem is that most people are not fun when they are being authentic.

[Origins]

@KGrimes Don't play games "slow" etc, just learn to understand yourself and have self respect.

Seriously, if a woman doesn't value you without games, you've got a very low quality woman at hand and you're automatically projecting yourself as low quality by playing games.

Ditch the women who don't respect you and the ones that play victim games, you'll only end up lowering your guard giving her something she hasn't earned and then guess what happens? Yeah the reasoning is straightforward from there.

You've gotta be decisive, life isn't about relationships, relationship is something you have with life itself.

Learn about romance, relationships from a neuroscientific perspective, you'll thank me later.

Don't become a knuckle head like the rest of the majority of the population and like I was, you'll regret it. Go into relationships with the highest awareness (i.e. biochemical awareness), all the way through, so don't lower your guard open your guard up to those that have earned it and treat that guard (boundaries) well. 

Edited April 4, 2021 by Origins

[flowboy]

On 3-4-2021 at 10:00 AM, KGrimes said:

Pursuing women and sex - pursuing your desires, therefore, you are giving up your ego what it wants, instead of renouncing it.

@KGrimes I agree it's paradoxical. However, depriving your ego of what it wants is not a moral or spiritual good in itself. It is not "more spiritual" than having everything you want. It is only one spiritual practice that can be used to deconstruct your ego, watch it squirm under the discomfort, so you can examine it and let go of unhealthy attachments that you discover.

It is only one technique, and you don't have to use it. There's a million ways to spiritually progress. You can get enlightened without self-deprivation. And even if you choose to use it, its function is temporary. And when you are done using it, you are done with renunciation: after enlightenment, you can do whatever you want again. Because why not?

You think Eckhart Tolle abstains from sex? Why would he? Why would God abstain from being God?

After a prolonged ego death last night, I realised: after realising you are everything and nothing, you still have to entertain yourself as God. That's why God created you. To entertain and explore itself through characters. So it wants you to experience! After enlightenment, you still have to eat soup. And chop wood. And you might as well love and enjoy people around you with all your senses, because that's what You created them for!

Hope that makes sense?

Edited April 4, 2021 by flowboy

[KGrimes]

@Origins  I noticed, that the several women, who were genuinely interested in me, were doing so without me ever trying to go for them, it was sort of a natural flow. I cannot pinpoint what I was thinking, or saying or planning to do when I was in those short relationships, but it was just simply all-natural, everything led from one thing to another, without me questioning myself nor the women I was with, and I guess that's how it should be, right? Thanks for your words, there is a lot of self-improvement for me to be done on this matter, I will come back to this thread often to harvest the wisdom of all of you guys <3

@flowboy It does make all the sense in the world, actually, it makes me feel a lot safer. I keep reminding myself this dream is here for us (me, God, you) to enjoy, with all the little details. As for sex and how masters do it, I am actually not sure, never questioned if they abstain or not.

[Origins]

@KGrimes That's right mate don't give those bitches any attention until they start licking your boots because you're a good dude and for no other reason, keep your flow

[Emerald]

19 hours ago, StarStruck said:

The problem is that most people are not fun when they are being authentic.

That’s not true. In fact, the opposite is true.

Inauthenticity is boring across the board.

Authenticity is interesting to the people who are cut from the same cloth as you. 

[StarStruck]

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

That’s not true. In fact, the opposite is true.

Inauthenticity is boring across the board.

Authenticity is interesting to the people who are cut from the same cloth as you. 

Ok, I think I need to work on being authentic. 

[Hardkill]

On 4/3/2021 at 1:49 AM, wwhy said:

Just be you. You are beautiful, you are attractive, you are sexy when you are just being you, without giving a shit about how others respond to that.

From what I understand, it's okay to feel needy, but you don't want the girl you approached or are dating or in a relationship to notice how thirsty you are. Otherwise, she will perceive you as weak, not cool, and too impatient.

Edited April 5, 2021 by Hardkill

[Lyubov]

Honestly I don't think it's productive to try to understand this. If there is something you're specifically doing you think is causing you to make women find you unattractive or some inner stuff going on try to trouble shoot that stuff. You will go in circles trying to understand this question you pose. You can't specifically psychoanalyze every woman that you have approached or been involved with. I don't even see the point of it, some knowledge is kinda useless. I think it's better to just focus on your social skills, your own inner stuff and embodying confidence, pleasant emotions, masculinity, leadership and working on your life purpose and improving your status in society. 

[Cepzeu]

On 03/04/2021 at 9:00 PM, KGrimes said:

@Cepzeu  This was my goal at first, after a few attempts at dedicating myself towards pick up and PUA i realized I developed a different mentality towards women, when I look at red pill now, it seems like they have some decent suggestions in there, but overall it just feels too toxic to be related to spirituality. So what I got from this whole topic is that unfortunately, I cannot pursue women and spirituality at the same time, like @Leo Gura said, there's a trade-off. The only thing that does motivate me, is that if I spend some time pursuing women, with my current level of consciousness, I will not be starting from scratch, once that thing is out of the way, and then I could fully pursue spirituality as well. It does, however, feel a bit hypocritical. Pursuing women and sex - pursuing your desires, therefore, you are giving up your ego what it wants, instead of renouncing it. On the other hand, if you are fully conscious of your actions and the reality behind everything, there's no problem, right? This whole thing is just a bit confusing, and I guess there is no right answer.

There is no one way, and there is no rush to get anywhere. Pursue what feels genuine to you at this moment. Everyone's journey is different, and that's OK. Also realize there are more high consciousness ways to pursue women. Sexuality, relationships, and connecting with others can be done in healthy and affirming ways. Red pill and pickup culture do have some toxic elements to them so be careful no to jump on the victimhood bandwagon. I think The Natural Lifestyles portray pickup in a very healthy and spiritual way.  

Keep in mind that in the end, God is all. Including the ego and the devil. There is no need to renounce anything (but you will only understand this once you've attempted the spiritual journey and renounced everything hehe, so go ahead and do it, it must be done for that insight). All is love. I remember someone saying: if you can't find god in a strip club, you don't know what god is.  

"if you are fully conscious of your actions and the reality behind everything, there's no problem, right?"

Ultimately, yes. But that's a big "if". You can be told that, but its only through the spiritual journey that you come to understand and own that insight. This is by design. All I can tell you is that you cannot lose, and you are loved no matter what. This is a big novel/movie/video game, all for your enjoyment. 

[KGrimes]

@Cepzeu Thanks, this is really makes me feel much better about the whole situation.