A few thoughts on how to be social

[vander]

1.The first step towards more rewarding social interactions is by becoming a more interesting person to spend time with in the first place, and the way to that is by experiencing life more often, while learning more about more. The more you learn and experience, the more you’ll have to talk about, regardless of whether you’re one on one with a captivating extrovert who also traveled around the world, or on the stage attempting to entertain a crowd of socially awkward and nagging introverts. Rember that being socially skilled has nothing to do with introversion/extroversion. Social skill comes with inner value, built through life experiences and acquired wisdom, wrapped in the interesting mini-stories that make up great conversations.

//Become more self-aware
2.It’s not enough to think about or look at you the way you see yourself. The way you come off to others is arguably more important, as the quality of your social interactions will be heavily defined by the story your behavior tells, regardless of whether that story is reflective of who you truly are or not. Learn to see yourself from someone else’s perspective, and adjust your behavior accordingly.

//Remember…It’s not about you
3.Social interactions are one of the few things in life whose quality tends to decrease with increased care. The more you care the tenser you become, which brings you closer to that which you fear the most. There is a contradictory and yet effective beauty in not caring about what people think. The fact that you don’t care about how a given social interaction will go makes you more relaxed, and then more spontaneous, which in turn makes you look more and more like a social genius now, even if you didn’t carry the same reputation in previous circles.

//Practice, Practice. Practice
4.Like most things in life, being social can also be improved through practice, as there are lots of lessons to be learned by listening and by doing. The only difference is that the lessons learned by doing stay with you for a lifetime. The brain may forget the lesson, but the body won’t. And this remains true even when you’re unable to verbalize the why behind your ways.

What do you think?