How to have a better relationship with weed

[paradiseengineering]

Hi there Actualizers!

I have been smoking pot for 7 years on and off. From the first time i tried it i freaking LOVED it! 

I am on a month break now and im craving it quite often. Before this I had a rule with a friend that I only can smoke max 3 times a week and only in the evening. This turned out that i ALWAYS smoked 3 times a week and quite a lot every time. I also found my mind looking forward to next time I could smoke. I wasn´t looking forward to the non-smoking days as much as the smoking days and it made me be less present (also seems to mess with my brain reward system to an extent). 

The ideal would be to be able to have weed available for special occations without smoking and feeling that I have to smoke it so often. To just be able to let go and not feel like i want it so bad.

Is there any ex-stoners out there who was able to have a healthy relationship with the plant without having any strong rules for themself? If so how did you do it?

[neovox]

There was once upon a time when I couldn't imagine myself not stoned (and high on other stuff). I was poly substance addicted, but weed was my bread and butter.  I stayed stoned through my late teens, 20's, into early 30's. The whole time I was never happy with my addiction, never accepted it, was always at conflict with it. I sounded something like you. I wanted to be able to enjoy it without needing it. Have my cake and eat it to.

The thing is, once I got my shit together enough to not need it, I no longer wanted it. The enjoyment went away. As a matter of fact, whenever I would take a toke after I hadn't smoked in awhile, I realized how much I disliked the experience; how in your head makes you, how it amplifies insecurities, robs ambition, removes the clarity and sensitivity that true enjoyment arises from. It made me numb and apathetic to my deeper discomfort. I used it to cover up the shit that needed to be addressed.

The appeal just kind of organically dissolved for me as I worked out my shit, and gave it some time clean.

[paradiseengineering]

3 hours ago, neovox said:

There was once upon a time when I couldn't imagine myself not stoned (and high on other stuff). I was poly substance addicted, but weed was my bread and butter.  I stayed stoned through my late teens, 20's, into early 30's. The whole time I was never happy with my addiction, never accepted it, was always at conflict with it. I sounded something like you. I wanted to be able to enjoy it without needing it. Have my cake and eat it to.

The thing is, once I got my shit together enough to not need it, I no longer wanted it. The enjoyment went away. As a matter of fact, whenever I would take a toke after I hadn't smoked in awhile, I realized how much I disliked the experience; how in your head makes you, how it amplifies insecurities, robs ambition, removes the clarity and sensitivity that true enjoyment arises from. It made me numb and apathetic to my deeper discomfort. I used it to cover up the shit that needed to be addressed.

The appeal just kind of organically dissolved for me as I worked out my shit, and gave it some time clean.

Thanks for sharing your experience! This totally makes sense. If you are constantly craving it, there is some underlying discomfort you want to eleviate. Congrats to you of getting out of theese habbits that where not serving you! Im working to be able to completely surrender, in a time that can be quite boring (being an extrovert and a musician in covid times). I will most likely have a better relationship with it after this months break when i work some stuff out.