Line Between Self-acceptance And Labelling

[Venus]

So a key point for growth is accepting yourself and even all those traits you want to remove.

But where is the line between accepting something about yourself and actually starting to build it into your self image?

For example, one person might accept that they are anxious in social situations and tell themselves, "yes, I have social anxiety". But by doing this, surely they're now creating that trait more; the acceptance is like an affirmation is it not? Aren't we growing these traits?

[The Monk]

@Venus I believe self acceptance is important, however I don't believe you need affirmations to grow them, as they have been developed over the current living years via the ego. However, I would try to keep the things you like, and try to throw out the things you don't like initially causing self harm to you and others around you, which can be done through meditation. Therefore, meaning after many years your ego will be destroyed and you will accept not You, but YOU, and only YOU. Which will after result in no more labelling taking place, I assume. But, how you act on these traits, will determine whether they grow or not, but yes you can use affirmations to grow them if you would like to, and it is possible.

[Pav]

What would it be like if we didn't label at all? I think that'd be true acceptance. 

[Xpansion]

You could try not saying "I have ......."  but instead say "there is ........"  

Don't identify with it but see it as something arising and passing like a thought or emotion.  Get to know it.   How does it feel in the body?  Tension in the shoulders perhaps, fluttering heart, sweaty palms?    Notice the story racing through your mind about it and the effect it has on the symptoms.  Don't fight it or try to resist it.  Let it be present.  Is it trying to tell you something?   After you practice for a while you will be able to recognise it and be comfortable with it being there but it won't control your actions.  You can make friends with it.  

Have a read of this -

R.A.I.N.

 

Edited October 21, 2016 by Xpansion

[ChimpBrain]

You can accept that you are/aren't a certain way or do/don't possess a certain characteristic, but also know that you have the power to change this. So in your example you could say "yes I do have social anxiety , and I accept that about myself , but I'm going to work to on improving this undesirable trait in order to improve my life" . 

[Leo Gura]

You cannot effectively change that which you don't first accept.