Coping with a bizarre epistemic-truth paradox

[WonderSeeker]

Has anyone else experienced this "Uno reverse card" in thinking?

When I first started doing practices to discover my true nature, I scoffed at and scrutinized Leo's videos, thinking "Well if it's really true, how the fuck can a person even know it?! That's impossible!" Deep down I felt like it was really possible, I was just resisting.

In the beginning, I thought "how can reality feel different than the 'separate self' way, as a human body 'here' and the world 'there,' that I am familiar with?"

There's a lot I could say about the middle part of "my" journey, but let's just fast-forward to today. Over the past few days, I've had a feeling that I am the whole entire experience arising in front and behind my face, complete with ZERO control. It reminded me of the jokes people make about awakening: "It's like jumping out of an airplane and never having a ground to land on."

But now, I am thinking, "Wait, how come 'this' isn't obvious?! It's the most obvious thing ever! Once you've crossed that non-existent boundary between not knowing 'this' and knowing 'this,' you have the feeling that it should be common knowledge that we are 'born' with. 

Complete reversal from "You can't know that," to "How do you not know that?" Shocking paradox...

Can anyone relate to this? I've been having lots of internal resistance to these deep insights over the past few days. I do not consider myself enlightened, but I've had some big and small glimpses, and last night was one of them. My mind was blank, I was speechless, and I felt like I couldn't do any "practical human stuff."

Is there anybody reading this who thought they awakened 'too early in life.' (I know that might be a silly question for a number of reasons, but I'm seriously questioning whether I should take a break from spiritual practices for a bit. On the one hand I feel like it's too late and 'my life' has already ended. I am D-E-A-D, and I just need to accept that. On the other hand, I feel like I'm going insane because I'm constantly thinking about awakening-stuff, when I have all of this human stuff I want to focus on too.)

Much love~

Edited March 28, 2021 by WonderSeeker

[EnlightenmentBlog]

Good. 

2 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

Is there anybody reading this who thought they awakened 'too early in life.'

You awaken when you do. IMO, better early than late or never.

[Nahm]

@WonderSeeker

What is “thinking about awakening stuff” ? What is that “stuff”? 

Take a look around. Call that a bunch of different labels (thoughts)... and notice is has no baring at all. Perception doesn’t change. 

Focus on what you want to create & experience, and there is change in what you are creating & experiencing, and in how you feel in terms of how you[‘re experiencing. The difference is alignment with ‘who’ you really are, or, the true nature. This is literally what you “had” (have) ...in....Mind. Doesn’t seem like it, if you say there is “awakening stuff” and “life stuff”. 

Rather than feeling the discord and then looking for how to cope with it.... recognize what the discord is. Awareness alone (in and of itself) is curative. 

[snowyowl]

@WonderSeeker Sounds like these glimpses have been occurring only this week, so of course you're all shook up and preoccupied with thinking about it. Congratulations! Let it all sink in, enjoy it while the initial energy lasts. I reckon it'll subside naturally and then you can look at your life purpose again. Relax, don't worry, you're young and have it all going for you. Good luck and keep us posted

Edited March 29, 2021 by snowyowl
spelling

[BipolarGrowth]

Is playing the violin skillfully at 6 months old too early? 
 

You will likely adjust quite well to doing normal human things in not that much time. Write your insights down ?

[Nahm]

Kinda hate to break it to ya, but you’re focusing on thoughts & beliefs which don’t feel good to you... which don’t feel good...because they are...off...and using “awakening” or “having awakened to young / early” as the reason. It’s not the reason, it’s just that the thoughts are off. Humble pie tastes like liberation, the recognition control, death, etc, are thoughts, while reality is pure spontaneous infinite love. Rather than ‘coping’ as a remedy... inspect the non-resonating thoughts directly...and it is found there is nothing in need of coping with. “Epistemic truth paradox” is also just one thought...which can be inspected, scrutinized, realized, as there ultimately are not any paradoxes.