I need a stage Red boyfriend - who will give me tough love!

[Preety_India]

So I'm focusing on stage Red aspects of life. 

I'm too docile and submissive in a relationship as a stage Green person. 

My docile nature often causes me to get used up or mistreated.

For the past 3 years I never defended myself in relationships.. 

So i guess it's time to get some tough love 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I need a boyfriend fix!! 

 

[Preety_India]

Didn't I say that I needed a stage Red boyfriend to fuck my feelings. 

Did I forget that? 

 

[Preety_India]

Didn't  I talk about immersing myself in a dream? 

Maybe his sexual energy will cure me? 

 

[Preety_India]

I created this stage red characters because I don't want a real life stage red guy. 

He will kill me. 

So i need a fictional stage Red boyfriend character. 

I already created him. And I call him Porco 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Porco disciplines me especially when I'm having tantrums, being overbearing, boring, difficult, impossible, unbearable and overwhelming.. 

Porco puts me back in order with his intense energy and his will to love and change me. 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

A version of Porco could easily exist. The way I understand Spiral Dynamics is that we have all the levels within us. As we move up the spiral we transcend and include each level. Red energy is a natural expression within one’s sexuality. So someone who has moved on into tier 2 could really be an interesting character. Nonviolent yet fully able to let their animal nature express itself. 

Let me know if this is a closed journal and I’ll hide my post.

[Preety_India]

 

There's a caveat. 

I really need 2 opposite forces to heal me.

On one hand I feel that I need to be disciplined and told to SHUT THE FUCK UP BY A REAL MEAN ASSHOLE BAD BOY. 

Or someone who says to me - WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE? 

On the other hand I need someone who will coax me into being more Tolerant of all assaults and just surrender to the experience of the Masculine Male Energy, just give into his fuck and not resist much. 

This energy tells me to be less revengeful, more Tolerant and passive and more caring and matured. 

This is the alter ego of the stage Red guy. 

This one is a very clean cut extremely disciplined individual with high class standards 

The first one is fiercely protective of me and can easily forgive my wrong actions whereas the second one wants me to be  graceful and elegant and soft. Expecting me to be demure in a certain way where I will be very submissive feminine. 

The first one is a tyrant of kind nature and the second one is a tamer. 

Both regulate my femininity in a beautiful way Supplementing it on both sides successfully molding me into a true spirit of both love and protection, the basic principle of the expanding universe, one creates a flow and the other restricts the flow, both canceling and balancing each other out thus maintaining a steady flow of my character 

Truth never hates wisdom. There is power in walking away and victory also. 

[Preety_India]

@Zigzag Idiot I like that. 

That's a great point. Someone who is not violent but is full of animal nature. 

Do you think it's easy to find such a person? 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

16 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Do you think it's easy to find such a person? 

There’s a lower percentage of of these actualized individuals the higher you go up the Spiral. So I would say maybe difficult but not impossible. Working on oneself in integration and psychologically individuating might allow synchronicity to help produce what your looking for.

It seems to me though that the higher one moves up the Spiral, aspects of oneself will die off making the felt sense of strong desire become less in a weird way. As a lot of guys reading this may notice, speaking as a guy, that the less one’s neediness becomes the more women become interested ,,,,  This has been something I’ve noticed all my life and was especially frustrating for me in youth. The guys who appear not to give a shit have women chasing them from every direction while as the saying goes, the nice guys finish last. Not that I was a nice guy but definitely full of doubts and insecure in taking action.

[Preety_India]

I have found that only Porco alone is not curative or complete. 

Something more is needed which Porco cannot accommodate 

What Porco does is bring out my wild energy and allow me to the Tarzan's wife. 

Whenever I'm being too submissive, Porco forces me to stand up.

Of course Porco has a ton of raw masculinity but his masculinity is not subjugating but more of the Master type of Energy. 

Like he has full control of my sexuality. 

He owns me. So it doesn't matter what I do or don't. I belong to him anyway. In this process he makes me feel secure 

 

Porco is like having a big caveman Daddy who will never get angry at me no matter what. 

I can imagine Porco in two ways. 

Either a bad boy hanging out in the streets who doesn't give a fuck and punk attitude but comes home to love me and care for me and never plays games. Never manipulates 

Lets say I got angry and punched Porco in his face because I didn't like something. Porco laughs it off, he doesn't take me seriously, he has his manliness in place. He goes about doing his work, takes me lightly. Is raw with his flirting with me. 

Teasingly places a bouquet of flowers on the table when I'm upset (just to show that he cares), Porco is always sure to show his explicit loyalty and never gives up on me no matter how bad I behave, no matter how many flaws I have, no matter what I do wrong, he has the manliness to take it. 

In some way Porco as a stage Red guy is oozing out a lot of maternal energy. The way a Mother becomes a fierce Mama Bear and defends her children, even when the children do wrong things. They mess up or they have flaws or they aren't competent enough, yet instead of judging them for the way they were born, a true Mother loves them unconditionally and forgives them endlessly, in this process she shows ample virtues of sacrifice, loyalty, grit and sheer endurance. She is able to take it on, like Mother Earth takes our assaults on the environment, quietly forgiving us but keeping a watchful eye.. 

Porco shows this pure animal Maternal characteristics in loving and defending me. 

I know Porco can be abusive sometimes. He can come home drunk or get wasted. 

I know Porco can say the meanest things in the world and send me into a tirade of confusion, crying and bickering and hurt. I might feel like punching him for being so unkind and mean. 

But then there are moments where I see the good side of Porco. Where I'm being a drug addict, giving into addiction and self destruction, lying by the corner of the street in rags and eating leftover food. In tattered clothes and looking pale and withered. 

And my friends who are Doctors and PhDs and sophisticated people who don't give a shit about me because I fell from grace, because I sucked at creating an empire like them, because I had my vices and naiveté. 

But Porco stood next to me. Looking. Watching. Sometimes with pity. Sometimes with anger. 

And then goes and comes back with a pizza, and a coke bottle and sits there all night in the freezing winter beside me, puts his black jacket on me so I don't get hypothermia. Meanwhile he only has a tank top on. Yet he sits there. I keep sobbing thinking about my state of affairs and suffering, meanwhile Porco gently rubs my back reassuringly, letting me know that no matter what, he is there, he ain't leaving me, and I feel like sinking into his arms, but I feel so ashamed at my own distress, the mess I turned into. But Porco doesn't judge me, he understands the dark alleys of human nature, he knows that nobody is without sin or error. He eventually tells me to come to his house and that he will cook me a warm breakfast and yummy things. And my eyes are flooded with tears at such generosity from a fellow human. 

This is the same man who showed gangsta signs, did drugs, beat the shit out of people, gave death threats, acted mean bully and was vulgar and direct. He was called low trash because he lived in a trailer park. 

Yet here is the raw human side of Porco that even the most sophisticated individuals who claim of the great heights of consciousness cannot achieve. They set up foundations of charity and eat the money under the table, boast of how great they are for humanity, but won't spend a dime out of their pocket to feed a poor destitute, wear jewelry and live in mansions yet won't give a 3 square feet area to a homeless man to rest. 

But here is Porco rescuing the ones who need real help. Sleeping with the poor and the needy, becoming one with them, not caring about social status, not afraid to help, bold, raw, kind and generous, not discriminating between rich and the poor, not afraid or paranoid of losing anything, ready to give the shirt off his back to anyone who needs, not caring for social recognition or repute, not Being Fake, just being raw and real. 

But this is the same man who could cuss me out. Be mean to me. Get angry and fly off the handle. 

He is illiterate, uneducated but he has a golden heart that even the most educated and scholarly cannot have. Even the dignitaries of the Great Spiritual world cannot boast of such raw kindness. 

This is the conundrum. 

Like Paul said to Corinthians (my favorite from the Bible) - you can have all the Wisdom in the world but without Love, you are nothing but cymbals that make noise.. 

Like Jesus said - he is who is without sin should cast the first stone. 

Porco even though he is a bad boy, is a shining example of raw animal love in a world lost in sophistication

 

Porco is my boyfriend. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I've decided to name the alter ego as Derek. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I have decided to create a character from whom I'm going to be deriving inspiration for my future. 

I have decided to call this character Queen Renelia.

She is a sword wielding brave queen who wears a long glittering shiny costume. And takes control of her space and territory effortlessly and protects her tribe and community. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Queen aesthetics 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm trying to Visualize a dark hall for Queen Renelia.. 

Something mysterious looking.

Found it in this video. Love the dark colors and imagery in the background 

Perfect for the dark hall. 

 

I'll call it the Hall of Pillars 

 

Edited March 28, 2021 by Preety_India

[Hardkill]

You really want to subject yourself to such danger?

[Gesundheit]

@Preety_India Spiral dynamics stages are not a description of who we are, they're an estimation for where we're at. SD studies the different value systems that different people have. You probably just want a strong boyfriend, not necessarily red. Red can be weak or strong, like all other stages. But the difference is that red values strength above everything else.

There are strong people at any stage, as well as weak people. An example of a weak red guy in our modern world is one that is stuck in wage slavery but ironically wants to be rich. A strong red is a Trump kind of guy. An example of a weak green guy is a nice guy that lacks purpose and boundaries. A strong green is a passionate career-driven kind of guy.

Edited March 28, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Preety_India]

 

Just imagine him as an imaginary character, don't think that he is real. 

Now with Porco there is no this alter ego Derek. 

 

[Preety_India]

What about Derek? 

Derek is a guy who wants the best for me but isn't exactly loving. 

A tamer of wild tendencies. 

 

[Preety_India]

Derek really wants me to be very docile and submissive. 

There is this social pressure factor. 

 

[Preety_India]

Just be with someone that makes you feel better. That's all. 

No expectations.