How disadvantaged am I in this situation?

[Podie45]

I can barely use Psychedelics.

I have a neuroplasticity problem, my NMDA receptors are all messed up (according to what a neuropharmacist told me).

This issue resulted in my brain reacting to chemicals, such as psychedelics, in very extreme ways:

- Depersonalization / Derealization is being induced at random, whenever I take any type of psychedelic. Bad trip or not, it happens. The only antidote for me is taking Bupropion for a week when this happens.

- HPPD has been a part of me since, let's say... 2016. This is the main reason I cannot do DMT, 5-MEO or Ibogaine (which would be very helpful in my particular situation). No known cure.

- PSSD has been worsened easily by multiple substances and has been ruining my life since 2017. It was induced by a week on Venlafaxine. This syndrome is similar to Post-Accutane Syndrome (which is what PsychedSubstance on Youtube has / that's how he lost his hair). The symptoms include Anhedonia, Pleasureless Orgasms and Cognitive Issues as well as ED (which is mainly fixed now because I increased my nitric oxide production). This condition has also caused my Testosterone to drop, caused hypothyroidism & probably other issues. I cannot feel love, happiness, any sexual sensation, sadness, anger or any human emotion. No known cure.

The point is, I cannot really mess with any of these things with confidence. I am meditating & just getting into shamanic breathing. Am I really disadvantaged since I cannot use these tools? Should I feel bad about this? 

Edited March 26, 2021 by Podie45

[Aaron p]

It looks like your just Gona have to tackle consciousness work in a more old school way. Fear not tho, lots of people do it that way. Your still Gona improve yourself and live a good life. Just use all of your motivation to push yourself a little harder naturally with no psyc's

[Loving Radiance]

Why feel bad about something that is your unique limit? Just imagine where daily shamanic breathing & meditation will bring you.

As Aaron said, people live their life without psychedelics. There are powerful spiritual techniques and schools out there. Heck, just read what people write on the Kriya yoga mega thread here on the forum. The book to practice with is Kriya Secrets Revealed: Complete Lessons and Techniques by J.C. Stevens.