How To Stop Being So Egotistical

[Grant6]

I'm too much in my head all. of. the. time. I am depressed, and I worry often about how I come across to other people, not physically, but socially. I can hold a conversation okay, but I'm not really good at those conversations where you feel like you connect with the other person. And small talk is not something I'm great at either. So I worry about these things. Also, sometimes I feel like I'm disconnected from reality. I feel like I can't tell what's real or not sometimes... And I have self-attacking thoughts often where I will say to myself, "you don't deserve this," if I have something good happen to me or, "you're not good for anything," and etc. So how can I begin to stop being so self-centered, get to the root of this depression and eliminate it, and how can I be more kind to myself even when I feel like I deserve all of those self-attacking comments? 

[dingdong]

Are you meditating everyday?

[pluto]

I thought this was pretty cool

Edited October 21, 2016 by pluto

[Extreme Z7]

@Grant6 Question everything you've gathered you're entire life. All neurosis stems from delusion of existence. The more you get closer to what's actually true, the more free and happier you become.

[Telepresent]

@Grant6 You've just listed all the problems and all the questions you know you need to address

Breathe

Let yourself listen to them, rater than be overwhelmed by them.

I would also consdier addressing them through writing.  Just write the question, and keep writing whatever response your mind come up with. Then keep going.

[Christian]

It is great to see you are aware of your shortcomings. That already males it much easier to offer advice. I would say that you should accept these thoughts and integrate them. Because only when you have accepted something can you actually change it successfully. 

That which you resist has a tendnecy to persist and when these thoughts persist, and you deny or distract - you are not going to raise awareness and grow. That just delays the root issue to be dealt with In the future.

When you decide to go In and actually investigate your emotions and thoughts, be open minded. And stop trying to look for 1 isolated root cause. We are inprinted with this idea to solve a psychological issue, we need this needle In the haystack - 1 root cause - but that does not contribute to your well being.

It is likely just going to make you highly uncertain and not fix the issue. Because there are so many possibilities for potential root causes  and your deciding for which is the right one is based on faith. Never truth. You will never know truly know and your higher self knows that. Just trust the process of being and feeling. Let it happen and drop your ideas and concepts In this context.

[Bob84]

@Grant6 I know where you are coming from since i was there myself. I have sabotaged myself a lot. All these thoughts in your head telling you what you can and cant do and what you should and shouldn't do. The truth however is, that you can do what ever you want, and you dont have to listen to these thoughts.
I myself was a people-pleaser. Leo has a great video on that if you are in the same boot.