Nobody likes me.

[Preety_India]

@seeking_brilliance Goodnight 

[Hulia]

@Preety_India you are a witch. Witches have always been suspicious. People don´t hate you, they just don´t get you. It´s ok. Accept them and yourself as it is and relax. Relaxed witches don´t look that dangerous and cause less negative reaction   

And yes, sometimes it might be quite useful to shut up  and be nice

[Preety_India]

 

@Hulia alright I'll just shut up and be nice 

 

 

[Thittato]

Well. You can study what it means to be liked. What qualities are socially attractive? And try to gradually integrate them into your personality so they become an authentic expression of who you are. Many people don't want to do this because they insist on "being who they are."

And perhaps more people already like you than you would think? Usually what we think about ourselves is what we send out and then receive back again. When I'm hostile, suspicous or indifferent about my co-workers that is usually what I receive back. Sometimes I have that extra capacity to be friendly and make other people feel seen and cared about. I'm still learning how I can become more of that. I was very socially awkward before, and I still am to some extent, and because of this I see the social game as a game I want to learn how to master. I think the more we learn about this the more expansive and authentic versions of ourselves we can become. There is much more to you than what you are currently is experencing. You just need to discover it. It may take some time, but I think if you bring curriosty, playfulness and a willingness to learn to it, then it can be a lot of fun :-)

[neovox]

Honesty, fuck what people like. Be you, be unique, love it and don't apologize for shit. Smile at em and keep doing you.

[Preety_India]

Maybe I should not be too defensive. 

 

[Raphael]

22 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Maybe I should not be too defensive.

Yes, definitely. I often noticed that in your posts so I try to avoid communicating with you. Also don't remove your boundaries too, find a proper balance, try to calibrate yourself a bit more every day.

[Preety_India]

@Raphael I will try to not be defensive. 

But it's a hard area for me. 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

44 minutes ago, Raphael said:

Also don't remove your boundaries too, find a proper balance, try to calibrate yourself a bit more every day.

 

42 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Raphael I will try to not be defensive. 

But it's a hard area for me. 

 

This is an area that I still have to work on also. Self observation over time keeps revealing this. My boundaries shift a lot which becomes a two edged sword, at times. 
In the past there have been people who hated me just because they didn’t like the way I look. Some of these times I didn’t even know they felt that way. If I had known, it would really have hurt my feelings. More often though as time has gone on. I feel indifferent about others hating on me for no reason. Often because I see their viewing the world through their own projections. They live in a hell of their own making like I’ve also done in the past, and at times, still do. I’m not invulnerable though,  but it’s a loosely held goal.

[Raphael]

@Zigzag Idiot

And me too. Many times I protected myself by not engaging on this forum that much and just journaling in my bubble because I was afraid of sharing my ideas and making mistakes here.

I think this is an issue that many people have to different degrees.

[levani]

sounds like you're missing a basic need

 

go back to maslow

[Preety_India]

9 hours ago, Raphael said:

Yes, definitely. I often noticed that in your posts so I try to avoid communicating with you. Also don't remove your boundaries too, find a proper balance, try to calibrate yourself a bit more every day.

Yea the self protection instinct always kicks in. 

 

[Woke456]

On 3/24/2021 at 7:34 AM, Preety_India said:

Wherever I go, I feel like people hate me. 

Why do people hate me so much?

Nobody likes me. 

Sucks. 

 

 

It really helps if you replace social media like this forum with real human interactions.  I kinda got intentionally banned from reddit awhile back, and  I couldn't believe how much more fun it was for me to be with people after that.

I also started making major breakthroughs with my career like clockwork since then.  Perhaps it's time I get banned from here as well.  

[Preety_India]

@Woke456 I have social anxiety. 

 

[Sea]

@Preety_India Wow, I really relate to most of what you're saying, except for the fact that I'm not female 

I see presenting a different opinion/point of view, especially in a work context, as a positive thing. I see it as a way to consider alternate options and try to figure out the best course of action. But people are very hostile to me when I do this. They don't want to be open-minded at all about my suggestions and dismiss them as if they're stupid.

People also don't take well to me trying to be open and authentic with them. They tend to reject most attempts I make at creating rapport.

And I can even relate to what you said about being Indian. I'm not Indian myself and I don't live in the USA. But I'm an immigrant in the country that I live in and despite my best attempts to adapt and fit in, I still have different mannerisms and ways of speaking than the people who are native to that country. While being an immigrant is definitely not the only reason people treat me different, I feel that it does play a part.

Edited March 29, 2021 by Sea

[Preety_India]

@Sea yes. Agreed. It's tough to be liked by people. 

I want to be authentic and not a people pleaser to fit in

 

I'm trying to find a balance between being authentic and also giving space to other's opinions and trying to understand them without being too defensive. 

Hard though, because ego comes in the way. 

 

[Ryan R]

@Preety_India

I've seen you around the forum commenting and conversing on many threads and in my anecdotal observation people do give you a disproportionately more difficult time than most. Because of this and the mature positive way you often handle criticism with some grace I thought I found you likeable. 

Before posting here I wanted to have more surety and integrity in my assertion than only my first impressions of your admirable character. Because you are an open book I have read and contemplated some of your journal entries in an attempt to understand you better.

You are an impressively brave and strong woman who has faced, overcome, and is healing from much adversity in life. I commend you on your fearless transparency, self-honesty, and dedication to healing and Self-actualization. You are a brilliant, articulate, and creative writer as well, but it was your couple of voice recordings that hit me the hardest. I am an empath when I choose to be and I could deeply feel both the pain and the hope in your voice. 

Thank you for all your sharing and contributions to the forum. I'm sure many different people can resonate with many different aspects of all you say. I know I can and I learned a few things from you also. To the extent that one may from mostly a bunch of text from a person they will never meet  face-to-face, I can confidently say I like you and you are authenticly likable. If people in your life, or with a chance to be in your life, don't like you it's their loss.

Take care Preety

[Preety_India]

 

5 hours ago, Ryan R said:

@Preety_India

I've seen you around the forum commenting and conversing on many threads and in my anecdotal observation people do give you a disproportionately more difficult time than most. Because of this and the mature positive way you often handle criticism with some grace I thought I found you likeable. 

Before posting here I wanted to have more surety and integrity in my assertion than only my first impressions of your admirable character. Because you are an open book I have read and contemplated some of your journal entries in an attempt to understand you better.

You are an impressively brave and strong woman who has faced, overcome, and is healing from much adversity in life. I commend you on your fearless transparency, self-honesty, and dedication to healing and Self-actualization. You are a brilliant, articulate, and creative writer as well, but it was your couple of voice recordings that hit me the hardest. I am an empath when I choose to be and I could deeply feel both the pain and the hope in your voice. 

Thank you for all your sharing and contributions to the forum. I'm sure many different people can resonate with many different aspects of all you say. I know I can and I learned a few things from you also. To the extent that one may from mostly a bunch of text from a person they will never meet  face-to-face, I can confidently say I like you and you are authenticly likable. If people in your life, or with a chance to be in your life, don't like you it's their loss.

Take care Preety

 

This means a lot to me. Thank you. 

 

[soularlight]

Hey there,

What if you are welcome in the world? Could you be open to the possibility that the world is a dream that is malleable?

Could it be that your belief that people do not like you are causing these circumstances, and blocking other circumstances from manifesting that might reveal an experience of true friendship, love and connection? 

It might be fun to play with the idea that you are actually choosing these experiences by being aware of them. Not choosing them as a person, but rather choosing them as Consciousness. 

I would like you to know that you are welcome in the world, and there are plenty of human beings "out there" (actually inside of you!) that will love you and cherish friendship with you! 

[Someone here]

Why do you care? 

If i told you that I highly dislike you..why would that upset you?  

The solution is stop giving a shit about what others think about you.