How to consciously deal with romantic infatuation?

[Lost in the sky]

For the first time I've fallen for a girl so hard it aches...

Like many others on this forum, I come from a long history of zero success with women (mainly due to serious social anxiety.) For the past 2 years I've been working hard at pickup. Had countless rejections, got laid 4 times in total, all basically one-night stands. I'm 24, and I feel like I've given my soul. 

Now... recently I experienced exactly what I had imagined the ultimate reward would be for all my efforts. 

To spare the details, I experienced the most joyous, beautiful, intimate date in my life. The connection was incomparable to any of my previous experiences. At the end I closed, everything smooth as butter. She gave me so much affection it felt unreal... A week later a second date proceeded with sparkling sexual tension and emotional connection. Now she has invited me over to "watch movies" at her place. Everything's looking bright. 

The problem is that I'm already loosing my shit with infatuation. In terms of outer game I've been doing everything right, seemingly I have minimal investment....  On the inside I experience such deep turmoil it's unreal. During the day I'm hit by waves of ecstasy thinking of her. I wake up in the middle of night like I'm on drugs. 

I know that the only way forward is working to heal my neediness, and continue to generate other leads until maybe she is truly hooked and wants a relationship. Maybe it'll come true, maybe not. But it's just so, so hard to believe I'll ever experience a connection like this with a female again. The way this is going so far seems too good to be true.

I'm aware that I'm going to go through hell if or when she looses interest. But my love hormones just won't let me have peace. I kind of feel like it's karmically inevitable for me to experience all the pain that this shit entails. I'm truly looking to be wise and learn from other people's mistakes. How do I heal/integrate my severe romantic infatuation? 

[EnlightenmentBlog]

It looks like you're on the right path. You're conscious of what's happening and oftentimes you just can't do anything about feelings because they're stronger than rationality. For me the solution here is to just live through it, suffer through it, if necessary and you're going to come out wiser. That's life.

[mandyjw]

ENJOY it. Don't pay attention to the, "but if it doesn't work, I'll feel..." thoughts. 

This is good. if you just won the lottery, would you be mostly elated, or would you be thinking about the taxes and the jealous people you'll have to deal with? Something amazing is happening, so any thought that feels less than amazing about it feels awful. 

[Nahm]

Listen to Cat Steven’s. You’ll be right as rain. 

Contrary to thoughts, love arises within you. It is love - reality itself - which is intoxicating & infatuating. The instant this is recognized, infatuation with thought ends, and experience of her expands ten fold. As if seeing her for the first time, strings-less, unconditionally, freed. 

[Emerald]

Just let yourself fall in love.

Don't be so afraid of losing her that you're unable to relax and surrender to the process.

Detach yourself from all outcomes, but immerse yourself in the feelings and let them happen.  

[LastThursday]

Don't worry you're going to be ok:

 

Edited March 25, 2021 by LastThursday