2nd Solo-Retreat - Trip to myself feat. 1P-LSD

[karli]

Hey there,

I did it again, a Solo-Retreat, this time a bit more intentional, with more serious rewards, I think. 

Here is my 1st edition.

No big foreword. I jump right into it:

 

the setup: 

• my grandma´s garden hut with kitchen and equipment
• a swimming pool
• rice, apples and carrrots
• drinking water
• warm clothes, towels, blankets
• a shutdown phone
• 100µg of 1P-LSD
• an electric heater

 

my day:

The whole thing took place for 10 days in january 2020 in germany (pretty cold). That´s a while ago, so I had some time to reflect upon. It feels strange writing about it now, the memories seem to be far out there. I had kind of a routine these 10 days which looked like this: Waking up, with the sun shining on my face. Getting up, going out, wrapped in warm clothes, brushing my teeth, drinking water, walking around the hut several times and welcome the new day. This was usually very peaceful and calm. The next part had more of a violent nature: getting into this freezing cold pool (2°C-4°C) for not even a minute I guess. Coming out, the fresh winter air was like a warm breeze to me. Afterwards I would get down on the mat doing a kundalini kriya for about one hour, which was at that time also my daily routine. Having cooled down from the exercise I got up and cooked myself some rice. Later I would take a walk, bore myself, stare at nature, think stuff up, enjoy my being and before dinner(more rice) I meditated for 45 minutes. Then I would usually sit in my hut, look outside at nature doing it´s thing and wonder about things. This was basically my day. 

 

starting to trip:

I had planned to take the 100µg of 1P-LSD on day 7 or 8. (Before this retreat I have taken the same 1P-LSD two times, first time 33 µg and the second time 66µg). But it came a bit different then I thought. In the evening on day 4 I sat there and just felt completely at peace with myself. I was so happy having made this retreat true. I had it in mind for several months ahead. I had serious intention to see myself/god. My daily kundalini routine was strong as was my meditation and throughout my everyday life I had this pulling feeling towards higher spheres. So a lot of things came together very well for me and I was just sitting there and being so blissful. Then it struck me! I do it now! Now is the time to take it.

Well, I took half the dose first. I went for a walk around the hut in my grandma´s garden. Round after round after round until it slowly began and things got a little more LSD. Visions started. I felt a little strange of course. I had a little anxiety. But nothing too crazy or mindovertaking. I went back in to my bed. I made myself comfortable. Sat there for some minutes and the spectacle started to show itself a little more. I decided to take the second half because I felt very confident with myself and the dose I have already taken. This decision was backed up by my strong and clear desire to uncover the truth, so things took me there. 

 

the pinnacle:

The moment it all really started. Dude, I´m getting real emotional just remembering it and writing about it here. Didn´t expect that^^. My third eye just popped open. It was as if the membrane of my body strange looped on itself at the spot of my third eye. I kinda fell into a very open space. I lost my body completely. The room dissolved. My body dissolved. My „being a body, lying in a bed in a room, being on earth“ was completely forgotten. My Self was this very open and creative room, where everything is created. And I was the creation as well. I realized that this story about my life is a total lie, entirely thought up, created out of the blue. Also death and the fear of it, is total bullshit. There was no substance to all of it. There was still somehow an „I“ and I popped in and out of this state several times. The state was not very steady and stable. Also I had myself distracted by all those visuals. Observing the nature of reality wasn´t easy with crazy geometrical and colourful stuff flying around. This was the deepest point of my trip. Then I came back in fantastic obvious, not obvious ego-fashion: Out of this space I was in, a question appeared. „Didn´t I had to pee?“ In this exact moment my body was put together, beginning from the pressure in my bladder. Also the room restructured itself into being. Fantastic to see! Spectacular and unbelievably amazing. 

This pinnacle experience took maybe 10 minutes. I didn´t stop time so I don´t know. It could have been much longer as well. 

The trip went on in a lighter fashion for several hours through the night. A lot of smaller things keeped happening there and they are defenitely very important to me, but they are not so important for this report or for uncovering the nature of reality. 

 

the following days in retreat:

The next few days I had to convince myself of not going home immediately. I mean at this point I got everything right? I had so much energy and inspiration for my everyday life, projects and goals. But I was a good student, I sat it out

 

getting back to society:

When my mum picked me up, she asked: „Are you still alive?“ My answer was simple, shocking, yet somehow true: „Again, mum, alive again.“ She reported to me later, that the look on my eyes was extremely strong and that she couldn´t even look me in the eyes for long. When we drove with the car home I saw all those other cars. All the traffic, all the people, this fast world. A beautiful song was playing and I just couldn´t hold it. I burst into tears of how beautiful I am and how beautiful all this creation is that I am. 

 

conclusion:

This was a much more serious retreat than the first one. It was still chill though. For that time it was the perfect mix of challenge and skill for me. There is a lot for me to harvest and learn from this experience about almost everything (retreats, set-ups, intention, tripping, reality, …). There is so much more to talk about. I often observe myself getting tangled up in underlying assumptions of how fast I should be, what I should do, how hardcore I should work and so on. I just hope you guys set your own pace that works for you. I´m here for the long run. It feels like I´m just starting to love this. 

 

side note:

I wrote all of this in June 2020. I share it with you here now. Better late then never. 

Greetings

 

[Breakingthewall]

Great report. I have 1 p lsd waiting... you have motivated me to do it this week. you are lucky to have a mother who understands you on this