Need Exercises For Psychological Addictions

[Phyllis Wagner]

I went on a cocaine and alcohol bender after being able to stay away from stimulants and getting drunk for over 2 months. It is not causing any real trouble in my life (yet) and I don't get these urges too often but with the monotone covid situation I just had the urge to just really wreck myself. 

1. I noticed that already during the day I fantasized about doing drugs and enjoying it, and hey I am just fantasizing right? Yeah no, I need to stop this right in the beginning.

2. After 2 months I am really blending out all the suffering that is associated with it. So I think for the next weeks I will 2x per week visualize what it is like to come down the whole next day. Remorseful, depressed, not being able to sleep but not motivated to do anything else either. It's basically just pure suffering, all joy is sucked out of life and all you can do is sit around and stare blankly into the room.

 

Anything else I can do to quit this stuff for good? I tried suppressing it completely in the past but something inside me still doesn't want to let it go, I think it is also a fear of missing out on partying and fun. I really need to get to the root of this unhealthy habit.

[Meditationdude]

@Phyllis Wagner relapses are normal and expected. Was it just one night?
 

This doesn’t mean you’re doomed and the same person you were two months ago. You made it two months! That’s a win!

 

I relapsed so many times on opiates before I figured it out! Half a decade of relapses and failures. I look back at how my mind was completely locked into the belief that I NEEDED opiates to get through my day and feel normal. Turned out not being true. I stopped for good after my first shroom trip which I had a breakthrough experience (lucky I guess). I needed the Truth to slap me in the face in a way I would never forget. I needed to escape low consciousness, take a glance at higher consciousness and then use that to climb up in my sober day to day life.

 

 

[Phyllis Wagner]

@Meditationdude It was one night. I never wanted to do stimulants again but still used 10 times last year (I keep track on every use) so my goal to just accept it and use 6 times max this year if I can't surpress it.

My 2 months were over so I "allowed" it myself - but man I am so done with it, I never felt so depressed in my life. I love raving, edm and all this stuff but snorting stuff and being wired is so toxic.

I think It would be better to keep it nothing or MDMA only 1-2  times per year max. But I need some strategies because 2 months from now all that suffering is forgotten... Its the same pattern every time.

Edited March 22, 2021 by Phyllis Wagner

[Phyllis Wagner]

Give me all resources you got regarding addiction.

Edited March 22, 2021 by Phyllis Wagner