I think I messing up something when it comes to women. I don't know what.

[assx95]

So, I'm on campus. And guys here outnumber girls, by 3:1. And although I have talked to a lot of people, i could say I don't have any friends. Just people I know. I went on walks at night with a few girls, but I didn't make any moves. It was more like, I was enjoying myself. So a woman i once met flaked on me, and i haven't texted her since. Another girl ignored me while she was with another guy and so I stopped communicating with her as well. There was this girl who asked me out, and I had icecream with her like last week. But I know I am on shaky grounds.

I've met almost every girl on campus but they have their own friends and guys they hang out with, and it gets complicated. Is there something I could do? I think I might lack social skills, and I am afraid to make a move. Other than that, i can't figure out what's going wrong. 

[Arcangelo]

You are so lucky man...

Young, in college, girls running around......

Enjoy brother!

 

 

Arc

[Preety_India]

You are not being aggressive enough, not in behavior, but in approach. 

You aren't aggressively chasing your goals. 

Seems like you lack passion. Maybe there are a few limiting beliefs causing hesitation and failure. 

A girl having a boyfriend doesn't matter 

Your presence can be so strong that she might leave her boyfriend to come with you. 

You need to improve your confidence and not appear needy.. Or else every girl will appear as 'not available.' 

• You lack confidence 
• You lack charisma 
• You get needy 

These above things are the root cause of your failure in having an engaging relationship. 

Build confidence, build charisma and drop the neediness. 

That way more girls would get attracted to you. 

 

Edited March 22, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Also abundance is lacking. 

 

[assx95]

Thanks @Preety_India

I am starting to understand! 

[Chew211]

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

You are not being aggressive enough, not in behavior, but in approach. 

You aren't aggressively chasing your goals. 

Seems like you lack passion. Maybe there are a few limiting beliefs causing hesitation and failure. 

A girl having a boyfriend doesn't matter 

Your presence can be so strong that she might leave her boyfriend to come with you. 

You need to improve your confidence and not appear needy.. Or else every girl will appear as 'not available.' 

• You lack confidence 
• You lack charisma 
• You get needy 

These above things are the root cause of your failure in having an engaging relationship. 

Build confidence, build charisma and drop the neediness. 

That way more girls would get attracted to you. 

 

Spittin' the real deal here

[Karmadhi]

The thing is that cute girls have tons of guys hitting them up in real life and approaching them so if you come aggressive that will make you just another desperate guy for her. How do you differentiate yourself from all the guys flirting with her with the intention of fucking her?

[Arcangelo]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

The thing is that cute girls have tons of guys hitting them up in real life

and online

[Karmadhi]

@Arcangelo Yes but i was referring to real life. Thing is that if you are just flirty and sexual as people here suggest that will make you plain vanilla. Most guys do that and you will just be another guy hitting on her, nothing more than that. How do you differentiate yourself?

[Preety_India]

45 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Arcangelo Most guys do that and you will just be another guy hitting on her, nothing more than that. How do you differentiate yourself?

Don't chase people who won't chase you. Don't devalue yourself. This not only applies to girls who wouldn't return you any response but also to all people who have too many people to give them attention like celebrities and authority figures or popular people in a group. It usually ends up quite badly with your self esteem completely mutilated. 

Be with people who are in your league or slightly above or below your league, in the same range, who have time and attention to give you and who value your presence just the same way you value their presence. 

Going for someone above your league usually results in disappointment because they don't give a damn about who likes them since they are in hot demand and could easily replace someone with 100s of people to choose from. 

So it's kinda unwise to date beyond your league. 

It's like wanting to date Kim Kardashian or Brad Pitt. They would hardly care about your emotions unless you exist in their league. 

You get broken hearted or end up losing self esteem chasing such people. 

Even instagram models. Remember these people are popular because they do everything in their power to get maximum attention and employ agents so that they can get the leverage in terms of likes, attention, presence and social popularity. It's a huge industry that feeds them fame in return for money. 

You won't even want to date or have a relationship with them because they would look elsewhere, always busy in work, never caring about your needs, busy with their vanity lifestyle 

So it's kinda good to hold them for a while but you will feel deprived very quickly since they care more about themselves than others. 

In the end its a disappointment, not for them, but for you. 

 

Edited March 22, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi I had a social media friend like that. She was cute and would get likes from 100 men everyday on her dating profile. She would have lots of men chasing her. 

In the end she got herself a rich businessman boyfriend who never paid her any attention and was basically an asshole. 

But she wanted him because many women liked him. 

 

[Karmadhi]

LOL so basically be an asshole businessman or you will be alone. Fucked up shit

PS: thanks for the other advice, i appreciate it :).

PS2: Thing is that girls at my league still get guys after them, i am talking about a cute cool girl not a supermodel with 200K followers or anything like that. A 7/10 looking, decent personality girl i would be happy with

[Arcangelo]

 

5 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

How do you differentiate yourself?

You don't

OR

''You have to go into it with the attitude that you are "the shit". You gotta have the mentality of if this girl dont wanna fuck me, then I'll go find someone who will. Because you ain't got time for that shit. To yourself you gotta be the man, and just with that sort of attitude and confidence of, if they ain't fuckin with me, then I ain't fuckin with them. Girls will fiend for you, they will dream about you. Dont overly worry about your looks, that's for bisexual and gay guys. Girls want you to be well-groomed and have a "I am the shit" mentality. You gotta be a legend to yourself and know that if this girl doesn't want to hangout with you, you ain't gonna tolerate it. You'll move on. I know you want to be caring and compassionate towards her, but you just gotta be ruthless, dangerous, and unattached. She wants to look at you as this image of man that she fiends for, not the other way round.''

-DiamondPenguin (forum member)

[EnlightenmentBlog]

Welcome to real life.

On 22.03.2021 г. at 6:37 AM, assx95 said:

And guys here outnumber girls, by 3:1.

You have competition here. Girls can choose the best of the boys on campus. Of course they're going to be flaky. 

[flowboy]

I'm surprised nobody talks about this.

You need to align yourself with men.

Build a social circle. Take initiatives. Organise parties or hangouts or any other events that you can be the leader of.

Girls look at whether you are aligned with other men and whether they respect you!

If they feel like aligning themselves with you will get them to the outer edge of the social hierarchy, they're not even going to look at you.

Important point: you don't need to be "the" alpha. And trying to force that will yield spectacularly bad results. Human friend groups are fluid and they can have more than one leader depending on the situation. But you do need to have people respect you. And to do that, you need to take initiative and make yourself vulnerable. Can't just be a follower.

[Eternity]

@assx95I was born introverted and it took a long time for me to learn to be more social and be able to carry on a casual conversation.  I was an INTJ and I'm now an I/ENTJ but it took a lot of practice.  I had some very extroverted friends and watching how they did it went a long way to teaching me to at least have an extroverted side when I needed it.  As an introvert I read some excellent books on changing your body language to signal you are approachable rather than unapproachable.  Introverts give off signals that they are not comfortable around other people.  It's unconscious, but other people pick up on it.  For one thing, we don't radiate warmth which you can do by simply smiling (avoid grinning at someone for long periods however).  Also practice using an open stance if you are just hanging out.  Introverts tend to keep arms and legs close to the body standing or sitting.  Arms need to be relaxed and akimbo, legs should not be crossed.  Those are closed positions and discourage others from approaching you.  Get the book "Body Language Explained" by C.K. Murray.  There are also subtle touches (when you walk with girls, it's fairly easy to accidently brush your hand against hers, repeat that a few times, then if she doesn't pull away, hook your little finger to hers and move your hand gradually until you've got ahold of hers. This is just one of the suggestions)  that people register subconsciously that make you more sympathetic to them.  There is another book on Audible for free called "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes.  Listen to it and file it in your brain.   Don't go for the manipulation or dark manipulation techniques; those will come around and bite you in the a$$.  Those two books alone should give you a good start.  If it's night or sunset look up at the sky on a clear night and tell her how beautiful the stars are but nothing compared with her.  Women may act as if they don't like compliments or that they are shy, but believe me, they do like compliments. If you keep that up (her lips, her eyes, her hair, or whatever (no over agressive statements) you can start by planting little kisses when you compliment each of her facial features, until you get close to her lips and compliment them as irresistible and brush your lips against hers until you are full on kissing. Let your arms encircle hers and press your hips to hers - very erotic.  I've been approached and pursued by many men and all of this works on me as long as it's done gently and keep on kissing. Good luck on improving your game.