A Ramble About My Journey Thus Far

[John]

This question might stem from a flawed premise, but if it is flawed, please enlighten me!

A couple of years ago, when coming out of a very deep clinical depression, I started to meditate heavily. I had just started a new job, social anxiety was rife, and my emotions were like the most torturous roller coaster you could imagine. Don't know how I survived it, but I'm here now..

I would do the following meditation practice: 30 minutes 'Do Nothing', 20 minutes 'Mindful noting', 20 minutes of the technique Leo describes in his 'no bullshit guide to meditation'. I was convinced at the time that if I just did this, every single day, the pain would go away. Especially the 'do nothing' technique.

Looking back, I think my real belief at the time was that with this meditation stuff I wouldn't have to physically kill myself. I could just do it the meditative way. But it means that I would bastardize all of the techniques to this end. It meant that I didn't really focus as much on other aspects of my life like my relationships and sex and business and money. I just thought, "No, all of that is nonsense now, this hour and ten minutes you're doing every day will solve everything. Leo promised"

And my question is this, how can I stop my ego, myself, from twisting these techniques to my own deep ends? Eckhart Tolle says to focus deeply on the energy field in your body, but what good is that when you're only doing it to avoid the awful torment of your mind? How long can you play that game? I crashed after six months.. And even though I still maintain a twenty minutes a day practice, I find myself..growing weary of myself!! Lately I have been considering buying an RSD programme and getting my love life handled, because awareness alone in this case, does not seem to be curative. Despite all the leaps in awareness I have made, there are black holes in my consciousness that still pull my strings.

Man, this just turned into one big ramble, but so many people on here have been so helpful, I feel confident that someone might resonate at least a small bit!

Cheers,

John

[Leo Gura]

@John If you expect meditation to fix all your problems, A) that itself is a problem because obviously you're looking for an easy way out, B) it is possible but will require MASSIVE amounts of meditation.

I would suggest two things:

1) Try meditating 1 week straight for 10 hours per day. Just so you get a true sense of what real meditation is about. 20 minutes per day is nothing. At 20 mins per day, meditation will not solve many of your real world problems. But at 10 hour per day, in a few years, your entire life could transform in unimaginable ways.

2) If you have tangible life goals like buying a house or getting a girlfriend, you work on those IN ADDITION to meditation.

Notice how you are looking for an easy way out. Meditation is not such a way. But it is a very powerful way.

If you want a remarkable transformation in your life, expect to pay for it with emotional labor. The reason you're depressed in the first place is because you keep avoiding emotional labor.

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

@Wormon Blatburm See Leo's video about Real vs Fake Growth. You can get a girlfriend but that is not a long term solution (I'm not saying that you shouldn't go out and meet girls, just don't expect that to make you feel happy and fulfilled). Meditation is helpful but it is not the solution, the solution is to discover the true nature of your self (Look for Rupert Spira and if you can buy his book, "The Art of Peace and Happiness" (this is a kind of forever solution but you will need to work towards it). Continue meditating and aim for longer sessions! 

[John]

@Leo Gura Is that not the cruelest Irony? That I'm stuck in a state of low mood and emotional turmoil (ie.Depression) because I don't want to face low mood and emotional turmoil (i.e emotional labour)?

I'm going to Plum Village in France in a few weeks where I will hopefully be able to do exactly what you recommend.

[John]

10 minutes ago, Wormon Blatburm said:

So that's why we should meditate for 10 hours? Because of how good enlightenment is? Ok Mr, but if you come from that anxious place of needing enlightenment so bad, that kind of motivation can be helpful, but then meditating 10 hours because of it comes from a place of fighting and struggling against your ego, which backfires. The "middle path" way is more practical.... It is just common sense

You have understood my point exactly. Could you imagine someone who goes to Tibet for twenty years and comes back a cult leader, or someone who is deeply mentally ill? I certainly could!

It feels like watching when watching Leo's videos or even Eckhart Tolle videos, they forget who they are talking to.. they forget that what they are saying is going out into the ether and then being taken in my by the most fucked up egos on the planet (maybe most fucked up is a bit harsh).

But I guess all they can do is be true right? All Eckhart Tolle, for example, can do is be the truth and hope it gets through to me some way. I fucking pray that it does aswell.

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

@Wormon Blatburm I didn't say you should meditate for 10 hours and I don't agree with that advice. I'm just saying that True Happiness is not acquired with money, success or sex. You are here to live, and to live fully. If it seems congruent to you to meditate 10 hours per day good for you, And admiting that the only way to be truly happy is to be enlightened isn't neurotic nor anxious, and if it is, it is probably not that different to craving for material things or relationships. I only pointed out that problems dont get resolved, you just release them. And as I said before, go and look for the love of your life , but dont expect her to fulfill you. Do all that stuff but don't get lost in them, know that they will not fix your problems. only you can.

[JustinS]

@John Look up a vipassana center near your location and sign up and give it a shot. It's the right place where one can meditate 10hrs for 10days.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Wormon Blatburm said:

Yeah sure Leo. 10 hours of meditation regularly for a few years is practical..... 

I like what the Buddha said when he said not to over do things, too much of anything will make you sick.... we all know the saying

Well, if you expect a single technique to fix all your problems, then 10 hours per day is actually a small price to pay. If you don't want to invest 10 hours per day, then reduce your expectations appropriately. Otherwise it's like expecting to buy a $10 million dollar yacht for $1,000 dollars.

The Buddha meditated to the brink of death for over 6 years. When he says not to over do things, that means: instead of meditating to the point of death, make it easy on yourself and only meditate for 10 hours per day.

I never suggested to meditate for 10 hours per day. I only suggest it here because John is looking for 1 technique to solve all of life's problems. Meditation is actually capable of doing that, but not at 20 mins per day.

[Carlos]

@Leo GuraOr maybe take 5-meo and become  enlightenment?

[electroBeam]

@Leo Gura Meditation isn't the only way to dramatically improve your life in deeply meaningful ways.... or realizing enlightenment. 

[LaucherJunge]

8 hours ago, John said:

This question might stem from a flawed premise, but if it is flawed, please enlighten me!

A couple of years ago, when coming out of a very deep clinical depression, I started to meditate heavily. I had just started a new job, social anxiety was rife, and my emotions were like the most torturous roller coaster you could imagine. Don't know how I survived it, but I'm here now..

I would do the following meditation practice: 30 minutes 'Do Nothing', 20 minutes 'Mindful noting', 20 minutes of the technique Leo describes in his 'no bullshit guide to meditation'. I was convinced at the time that if I just did this, every single day, the pain would go away. Especially the 'do nothing' technique.

Looking back, I think my real belief at the time was that with this meditation stuff I wouldn't have to physically kill myself. I could just do it the meditative way. But it means that I would bastardize all of the techniques to this end. It meant that I didn't really focus as much on other aspects of my life like my relationships and sex and business and money. I just thought, "No, all of that is nonsense now, this hour and ten minutes you're doing every day will solve everything. Leo promised"

And my question is this, how can I stop my ego, myself, from twisting these techniques to my own deep ends? Eckhart Tolle says to focus deeply on the energy field in your body, but what good is that when you're only doing it to avoid the awful torment of your mind? How long can you play that game? I crashed after six months.. And even though I still maintain a twenty minutes a day practice, I find myself..growing weary of myself!! Lately I have been considering buying an RSD programme and getting my love life handled, because awareness alone in this case, does not seem to be curative. Despite all the leaps in awareness I have made, there are black holes in my consciousness that still pull my strings.

Man, this just turned into one big ramble, but so many people on here have been so helpful, I feel confident that someone might resonate at least a small bit!

Cheers,

John

There is a technique which does not really take much to do you just read a book and than do it. It can take from 10 minutes to about 2 hours but it truly works and i think for people with very heavy trauma it can be better than a decade of meditation: The Completion Process by Teal Swan.

[YoungSeeker]

5 hours ago, Carlos said:

Or maybe take 5-meo and become  enlightenment?

If you take 5-meo in addition to 10 hrs of meditation then yes. Just a single pill won't solve all your problems in life.

Edited October 19, 2016 by YoungSeeker