One the edge of waking up

[dalink]

Am I on the right track?

When you sense that you are on your way of waking up and realizing who you truly are, I always feel TERRIFIED and I'm having difficulty in getting beyond that point. The idea that all of my belief systems, worldviews etc are a mere sketch and ultimately not real and to see 34 years of conditioning just vaporize into nothingness kinda makes me loop into the idea that I'm on my way of getting a psychosis and not an awakening experience.

I suppose I'm curious to know if I am on the right track, and that pushing beyond will not lead to a psychosis but rather to an unbelievable peaceful presence..

 

Thank you for reading this and thank you for any inputs.
 

[Endangered-EGO]

@dalink You're describing it very vaguely, but maybe we have the same thing. Whenever I let myself become absorbed by "IT" I instantly become afraid. However If I continue into the emptiness, the fear of dying comes up as a nauseous pain in the chest area, my skin feels weird and it beats me to the ground, I remember the nothingness that's behind it, but it's hard to "push through".

It's like your Body pulls the last alarm saying you shouldn't go through it. I always tell myself, fuck it, next time I am going to do it, going through no matter what and then I become a little bitch as soon as it beats me to the ground into the foetal position. I fucking remember what's behind it.

DPDR is spiritual enlightenment. Psychosis isn't. However psychosis can occur.