Personal Development in Contrast to Enlightenment or Assisting Enlightenment ?

[Stephen]

Hi,

What is your opinion on the relationship between Enlightenment and Personal Development ? 

When it comes to getting on my purpose and working on my mission I get a feeling of apathy:

"What is the point, does it even matter what I do ? " 

I feel intuitively that this is not the best way of thinking about it but I can't help it.

It feels awful being a loser not on their purpose but I really struggle with existential motivation.

Any words of help or reframes would be massively appreciated,

Thanks very much.