Women don't have it more difficult with dating then men.

[TheSpiritualBunny]

I see so many posts here basically saying "If you're an unattractive guys, you can improve a lot, if you're an unattractive girl, you're screwed." It seems to make a lot of women here feel very insecure, and I also think it's simply not the case.

Women are just as visual as men, an attractive guy has way more options then an average or below average guy. If you make a tinder profile with a very attractive guy, even if his profile text is horrible, he still gets a lot of matches. There was an experiment were someone made a profile with a guy that looks like a model and in his description he said he molested a child, he got hundreds of matches with girls messaging him saying they like "bad boys".

Also, even an unattractive women has way more options then a average or below average guy has. These guys might not be the most attractive, but a lot of them are still great options, these women are just often not interested in them. If a guy looks attractive, women mostly also assume that they are more confident and have a better personality. I'm socially extremely awkward, and I had a really awkward video call with a few asian women from bumble who were really into me, after the video call, their interest in my did not diminish at all.

I still think personality is important though, for both men and women. If a women who is interested in me is attractive but has a bad or boring personality, I would still wanna have sex with her (I try not to tho, it's unhealthy), but I wouldn't wanna date her long term. And there were also women I weren't really attracted to in the beginning but became attracted to them late on because they were really sweet, loving and compassionate, which is extremely important for me in a girlfriend.

So I just wanna give girls who might be not so attractive some encouragement, and for guys to be a bit nicer. If you don't wanna date a girl just because she isn't attractive, you probably aren't really worth dating anyway. And I also would like girls to pay more attention and be conscious of how looks influence your dating choices, because it has more more influence then you might think.

 

 

[Peter Miklis]

I don't think women should be anxious about this at all. As long as they take care of themselves, are nice and sweet, and expose themselves to social situations, they'll have no problems. The only problem really, is finding right guy/guys.

[TheSpiritualBunny]

9 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

I don't think women should be anxious about this at all. As long as they take care of themselves, are nice and sweet, and expose themselves to social situations, they'll have no problems. The only problem really, is finding right guy/guys.

Yes, many don't know how to do this and get damaged by attractive guys who only wanna have sex with them.

[RendHeaven]

This seems like a response to my thread.

3 hours ago, TheSpiritualBunny said:

I see so many posts here basically saying "If you're an unattractive guys, you can improve a lot, if you're an unattractive girl, you're screwed."

*specifically when trying to attract ONE desired person. That is very different from whether or not someone/anyone will find you attractive.

3 hours ago, TheSpiritualBunny said:

Women are just as visual as men

Simply wrong.

Are they visual? Yes.

Are they AS VISUAL? No.

On what grounds are you saying that the attraction criteria of hetero men and women are the same? How often do you go out? How many books on attraction have you read? How many girls have you talked to one-on-one and in groups? How many girls have YOU attracted?

Tinder is not the real world, it doesn't say anything about how attraction actually works.

I have real-life experiences and stories of ugly men getting with hot girls, and pretty men failing to get with girls (and so do others).

What say you to this? Will you just conveniently ignore it?

3 hours ago, TheSpiritualBunny said:

Also, even an unattractive women has way more options then a average or below average guy has.

Depends on circumstance, but you're probably not wrong.

That being said, recall that my thread was about attracting ONE desired person. Not attracting someone/anyone randomly.

Sure an unattractive woman "has more options" than a similarly unattractive guy; but I'm suggesting that maybe that same guy can grow himself to become attractive to HIS SPECIFIC CHOICE OF WOMAN in a way that the same woman CANNOT choose to become attractive to HER SPECIFIC CHOICE OF MAN. I'm open to being wrong, but people keep straw-manning my original suggestion, so it doesn't even feel like we're talking about the same thing.

3 hours ago, TheSpiritualBunny said:

If a women who is interested in me is attractive but has a bad or boring personality, I would still wanna have sex with her (I try not to tho, it's unhealthy), but I wouldn't wanna date her long term.

Yes.

Let it be clear that we are talking strictly about raw attraction here, without any concern for longevity.

If you insist on talking about longevity, then we're simply on different pages of the conversation.

3 hours ago, TheSpiritualBunny said:

So I just wanna give girls who might be not so attractive some encouragement, and for guys to be a bit nicer.

None of what you said really feels "encouraging" towards women.

This all feels to me more like excuses for why ugly men should feel defeated and immobilized.

3 hours ago, TheSpiritualBunny said:

If you don't wanna date a girl just because she isn't attractive, you probably aren't really worth dating anyway.

Are you joking? LOL.

The whole point of dating IS THAT YOU DATE SOMEONE THAT YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE.

Dating is a game of selfishness.

Let's at least embrace that instead of pretending otherwise.

[Peter Miklis]

11 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

I have real-life experiences and stories of ugly men getting with hot girls, and pretty men failing to get with girls (and so do others).

And I have a real life experience of girls liking me predominantly based on my looks (it wasn't the only component, but it was the main one), and rejecting other guys because they were ugly, and even laughing at them and making fun of them.

We can talk about who experienced what all day and still would not agree with each other. You think just because you saw some examples of ugly guys scoring hot women, and read some books that you have now monopoly in understanding women? You think I and the topic creator have never gone out? You are not skilled with women enough to talk like this. It's just getting laughable.

[RendHeaven]

2 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

And I have a real life experience of girls liking me predominantly based on my looks (it wasn't the only component, but it was the main one), and rejecting other guys because they were ugly, and even laughing at them and making fun of them.

How do you know that the girls liked you based solely on your looks and not your attitude?

More importantly - how do you know the girls rejected the ugly guys solely because they were ugly and not because these guys carried themselves with the attitude of an ugly person?

Finally, fine. Let's say your experiences are 100% correct and valid. Even then, my claims about male attraction strategies allow for exceptions (because time and time again, I do acknowledge that looks in men matter SOMEWHAT TO AN EXTENT).

4 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

We can talk about who experienced what all day and still would not agree with each other.

Yes, but notice who is actually being more open-minded here.

You guys are insisting that LOOKS ARE PARAMOUNT AND INSURMOUNTABLE.

I am saying that LOOKS MATTER - BUT ONLY SOMEWHAT -  AND THAT THEY ARE A SECONDARY CONCERN.

Your frame is more absolutist, and my experiences straight up contradict your frame. All I need to do is show one ugly guy with a hot girl and your story shatters.

Meanwhile, my frame is rather flexible, and can actually account for your experiences as well. Your experiences don't contradict any of my claims.

7 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

You think I and the topic creator have never gone out? You are not skilled with women enough to talk like this. It's just getting laughable.

If you seriously think that the way you look is the #1 criteria for male attractiveness, then yes. You haven't gone out at all lol. It's so obvious. You're too busy reading internet articles and ruminating over your mere handful of experiences.

Come back and talk big after you've approached hundreds and thousands of girls.

[Peter Miklis]

@RendHeaven no, uGlY gYu WiTh HoT gIrL doesn't shatter my worldview, so don't assume things. It actually isn't worldview at all, I can still observe that and be like "cool, that one doesn't fit into my equation. No big deal."

37 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

How do you know that the girls liked you based solely on your looks and not your attitude?

I think my looks moreso just allowed it. And me having "I don't give a shit" attitude sealed the deal. After 1 girl wanted me, others followed. So later, social status was a factor. And after that, knowing I have aspherghers and was inexperienced was also a turn on for them. Probably because some of them wanted me for theirselves.

Also, "liked me" is a little bit soft. You wouldn't believe if I told you lol.

The thing is, I cannot imagine this snowball effect would happen if I was ugly. If I was ugly and wouldn't give a shit, that would be like a beggar telling you he doesn't need your money. "Yeah, ok, whatever dude" would be your answer. Why do you think women are any different?

And about going out thing, yeah that's little bit problematic in our country right now. Hope it gets better soon.

Edited March 20, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[Karmadhi]

Let me clarify this for you: There are MULTIPLE factors that if in HIGH amount will result in you getting girls.

Looks are one of them :Good looks with shit game will allow to you get laid

Game is another: Good game with shit looks with allow you to get laid

ETC ETC for other things like money, high social status etc.

Just like passing an exam there are many ways of doing it: You can be super smart, you can study hard, you can bribe the professor, you can cheat from someone's else paper etc etc.

What you are saying is basically: "You need to study to pass an exam otherwise you will not. "Oh yeah? Well i know someone who did not study and passed because he is smart af". "How do you know he did not study?"

ETC ETC: see how dumb this whole discussion is.

If you have good looks then you do not have to do much unless you are socially restarted. If you do NOT have good looks then you have to learn game.

If you have both of course it is a killer combination but 1 will be enough mostly. So see what you have and try to work with it.

 

 

Edited March 20, 2021 by Karmadhi

[JJfromSwitzerland]

And who gives a fuck? Why you waste energy to know who have it more difficult? Does it make any difference in your life knowing that?

I don't mean it in a rude way even if it sounds disrespectful.

[flowboy]

29 minutes ago, JJfromSwitzerland said:

And who gives a fuck? Why you waste energy to know who have it more difficult? Does it make any difference in your life knowing that?

I don't mean it in a rude way even if it sounds disrespectful.

Exactly.

It's neurotic and pointless.

[kras]

[kras]

I already give up the idea that i gonna find cute girl from social media, it require so much effort and waste of time. 

The ones that i can get a dates with are fat and unattractive (and even they act entitled as though they are more attractive than me when in fact they are far away from me in terms of physical appearance) SO FUCK THAT SHIT. 

 

[wwhy]

Hey bro... go watch some discovery channel videos.

It does not really matter how attractive or unattractive one particular member of the species is. All that matters, is who the SELECTOR is. And for the animal kingdom (which humans are part and parcel of), the selector is ALWAYS the female. No exceptions. I do not care if you think you are Brad Pit. Brad Pit still HAS TO MAKE HIS MOVE, if he has any hopes of getting laid, with any female in this planet.... the SELECTORS. What was your question again.... ahahalahalhaaaa

Even the hunchback, one eyed women is still a selector. She just has to  be in the right nightclub, at the right time. The reverse is NEVER true for a male, no  matter where, or who he is.

Edited April 2, 2021 by wwhy