Anybody Else Become Depressed After Watching Leo's Enlightenment Videos?

[Brady]

So a few months ago I watched Leo's enlightenment videos. I had already read power of now by Ekchart Tolle and practiced presence and mindfulness. As well as listened to many of Alan Watt's lectures (if you don't know who he is I highly recommend checking him out). I had been doing all this for roughly a year when I came across the enlightenment videos. At the beginning he starts off with a warning that his video will cause depression. And well, it did. This was the first time I had heard that free will is just an illusion and that I don't actually exist. For three days or so I was actually depressed, it was to the point where I would be putting away my laundry and become so depressed that I would fall on the ground crying. I became void of all motivation to do anything and basically hated everything. The main problem for me was no free will. If I'm not the one choosing to go to the gym or self actualize, and I'm not actually free then why do anything at all. I basically snapped out of this deep depression after (no joke) watching star wars with my dad in the movies. I am still always questioning everything I do and everything I say which just leads to confusion. The only time I'm not bothered by this is when I'm 100% distracted with something else but even then it will still creep up in the back of my mind. So I'm curious if anyone has had any experience like this and what you've done in reaction to it.

[theinevitableandi]

yes i stopped watching his videos altogether after the 2nd enlightenment video. I was so angry at what he said. I was like wtf! This guy is FUCKN crazy! THis shit is stupid and crazy and it got me depressed.  I was depressed for about a whole month again after thinking i was over depression. haha But it was fear ... Fear is a big one.. You are scared that your entire life is a lie. Which it is.. its a big fat lie. And its so obvious once you are able to see it. 

 

 

[Brady]

Just now, pete said:

yes i stopped watching his videos altogether after the 2nd enlightenment video. I was so angry at what he said. I was like wtf! This guy is FUCKN crazy! THis shit is stupid and crazy and it got me depressed.  I was depressed for about a whole month again after thinking i was over depression. haha But it was fear ... Fear is a big one.. You are scared that your entire life is a lie. Which it is.. its a big fat lie. And its so obvious once you are able to see it. 

 

 

Haha, you're probably right. I still watch his videos and pursue the truth, but right now it feels like I'm toughing it out until I finally have the enlightenment realization.

[jjer94]

What Pinocchio said. Let yourself be depressed. No sense in trying to fight it. In fact, that may make you want to pursue the Truth even more. As Jed McKenna once said, there's a little bastard in each one of us that wants the Truth no matter what. Leo's videos awoke that little bastard in you, and I'm rooting for him, not you. Sorry! 

Quote

If I'm not the one choosing to go to the gym or self actualize, and I'm not actually free then why do anything at all.

First of all, there is no one to be free; freedom is just a concept, and a flimsy one at that. Second of all, you do things for the sake of doing them. Why do you go to a carnival? For the rides, not the stupid stuffed animal you get at the end. What the point of the rides? There is no point, they're just fun. That's life! 

[Eddy]

The search for truth isnt satisfied for how you feel

[Alexxx]

Cool article:

16 Uncomfortable Feelings That Actually Indicate You’re On The Right Path

http://howtoexitthematrix.com/2015/12/28/16-uncomfortable-feelings-that-actually-indicate-youre-on-the-right-path/

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Pinocchio said:

If you've seen Cast Away, with Tom Hanks and his volleyball Wilson stranded on an uninhabited island, think about his grief when he lost Wilson at sea. It was just a volleyball with a face painted on it, but it was his sole companion for several years.

Great analogy. In fact he almost dies to save something that, from a different perspective, is completely trivial. Just goes to show how warped one's perception might be at any given time.

[lilacwest]

Leo has a good video to help counteract those feelings of depression, I think this is it: 

If this is the one where he says face those negative emotions head on, just feel them rather than resist them, I've tried it and it does help.

And I agree with everyone, if you're in enlightenment work, you're going to face feelings of depression. I know I do from time to time. It's like I get to a spot in my mind where I'm facing the fact that a lot of stuff in my life is actually meaningless, while I have not yet found true meaning yet, and it gets depressing on and off, but I also feel the regular meditation is helping, when I used to actually think the meditation caused the depression. I think it was my ego freaking out, every time.

[Leo Gura]

Two questions to ask yourself when this happens:

1. What is the depression hiding? What is it a smokescreen for?
2. What am I ultimately distracting myself from?

The Void is scary thing to face. Few people are wise enough to face it head on.

[Leo Gura]

Sit and do self-inquiry or meditation, especially when you feel eager to distract yourself with titillating entertainment or important business.

[Naviy]

I had the opposite feeling from those videos. I was like "Yes, yes, yes! Finally somebody talks about it! And so precisely! Yes"!

I've read and learned all this stuff a couple of years before I saw Leo's videos. And also during my research I've seen a lot of bullshit about enlightenment on the Internet. I think I needed (and still need) motivation to continue the active research on what "I" is or what reality is (by research I mean practice, self inquiry etc,). And when I hear somebody tell something that is similar with my own conclusions and discoveries, this gaves me motivation.

Edited February 10, 2016 by Naviy

[lilacwest]

@Naviy Same here! Leo's enlightenment videos haven't depressed me, they got me excited about enlightenment again. However, off and on I notice depression with meditation & spiritual contemplation.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, LordGainz said:

So a few months ago I watched Leo's enlightenment videos. I had already read power of now by Ekchart Tolle and practiced presence and mindfulness. As well as listened to many of Alan Watt's lectures (if you don't know who he is I highly recommend checking him out). I had been doing all this for roughly a year when I came across the enlightenment videos. At the beginning he starts off with a warning that his video will cause depression. And well, it did. This was the first time I had heard that free will is just an illusion and that I don't actually exist. For three days or so I was actually depressed, it was to the point where I would be putting away my laundry and become so depressed that I would fall on the ground crying. I became void of all motivation to do anything and basically hated everything. The main problem for me was no free will. If I'm not the one choosing to go to the gym or self actualize, and I'm not actually free then why do anything at all. I basically snapped out of this deep depression after (no joke) watching star wars with my dad in the movies. I am still always questioning everything I do and everything I say which just leads to confusion. The only time I'm not bothered by this is when I'm 100% distracted with something else but even then it will still creep up in the back of my mind. So I'm curious if anyone has had any experience like this and what you've done in reaction to it.

The difficult thing is to hear about this truth abstractly without an actual enlightenment experience. I have had two, where I was truly living the truth of no self and it was the most amazing feeling. I had complete peace of mind and all of my insecurities and fears completely left me, including what was before a crippling fear of death. I could have been told that I was going to die in an hour and I would have been fine with it... even though I preferred to live and would have chosen life had I had the luxury to chose it. So, experiencing the truth of no self, is the optimum happiness level that you can experience as a human being. But this goes against everything that you've ever known. We are taught that in order to be happy, we have to work hard to create the best ego that we can. Individuality is highly prized and we are constantly in a struggle with the ego between self-congratulatory thoughts and self-deprecating thoughts.

The problem is that you have come to know happiness only through your actions and your sense of individuality. These are all masking effects to an ever-present and deep suffering that you are likely acclimatized to, to the point that you don't know how much you suffer psychologically on a minute to minute basis. If you experienced true selflessness even for a minute, you'd never want to go back to identifying with your egoic sense of self. The ego knows nothing but constant struggle and fear is a constant backdrop. Without ego, nothing can harm you because there is no you to harm. You realize your infinite nature and connection to all that is and realize that you can never die. Trading the ego for enlightenment is equivalent to trading a penny for a million dollars... but you even get to keep the penny. You just realize that the penny is only a small part of all that is. 

But a major caveat that I offer is DO NOT try to repress your ego or sense of self just because you understand logically that it is illusory. It will only cause a repression of ego, and not ego-transcendence. The only way to move toward understanding this truth is through mindfulness, meditation, contemplation, and self-inquiry. Forcing the ego away will only cause more issues. 

Edited February 10, 2016 by Emerald @ The Diamond Net

[Guest Kingkong123]

7 hours ago, LordGainz said:

So a few months ago I watched Leo's enlightenment videos. I had already read power of now by Ekchart Tolle and practiced presence and mindfulness. As well as listened to many of Alan Watt's lectures (if you don't know who he is I highly recommend checking him out). I had been doing all this for roughly a year when I came across the enlightenment videos. At the beginning he starts off with a warning that his video will cause depression. And well, it did. This was the first time I had heard that free will is just an illusion and that I don't actually exist. For three days or so I was actually depressed, it was to the point where I would be putting away my laundry and become so depressed that I would fall on the ground crying. I became void of all motivation to do anything and basically hated everything. The main problem for me was no free will. If I'm not the one choosing to go to the gym or self actualize, and I'm not actually free then why do anything at all. I basically snapped out of this deep depression after (no joke) watching star wars with my dad in the movies. I am still always questioning everything I do and everything I say which just leads to confusion. The only time I'm not bothered by this is when I'm 100% distracted with something else but even then it will still creep up in the back of my mind. So I'm curious if anyone has had any experience like this and what you've done in reaction to it.

Correction. He said it MAY CAUSE DEPRESSION IF YOU DONT WATCH THE WHOLE VIDEO. Not trying to split hairs, just genuinely trying to be helpful. Even if you did watch the whole vid, 1 recommend you do so again perhaps you will learn something you missed. Personally I have watched this video multiple times and must admit have racked my brains over this issue, my conclusion is that we can not know one way or the other... therefore I choose the one that will be most helpful to me.

 

[Pierre]

Like LordGainz I highly recommend Alan Watts. No one else explains with such clarity and wit that all your decisions just happen, like everything else in the universe...once you get this, there is no room left for the ego.

[Neo]

Several nights after watching it, I was tearful as I made my way to bed, and I thought the words, "I'm not real", like I had lost a friend. It was only momentary because I am really soaking most of this up like I knew this was all true and there is as much coming to life as there is dying off.

[Guest]

No depression.  Just kudos for Leo's daring to bring it to the public.

joy

 

[Ramu]

When he says "you don't exist", he is referring to your ego, not your True Self.  Your True Self DOES exist.  Its the Witness of mind's thoughts and your emotions.  It is the Witness, the formless real True Self.  The ego is a false illusory self that seeks gratification through form.  

[Ramu]

18 hours ago, LordGainz said:

Haha, you're probably right. I still watch his videos and pursue the truth, but right now it feels like I'm toughing it out until I finally have the enlightenment realization.

He's talking about your EGO not existing.  The Witness of thoughts and emotions (hereby called The True Self) does exist.  Your ego is illusory self and is only satisfied in obtaining material things (form) for happiness.  What makes ego illusory or not real is that after being happy for a little while after acquiring a material possession (new house, new car, a raise, a compliment, etc), that happiness goes away.  Once you understand that the True Self is forever and eternal you can have joy in Being without any material bullshit getting in the way.

[Ramu]

Actually the Witness is Being, or Soul or True Self...whatever you want to call it.  He is talking about ego not existing.  Read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer or Eckart Tolle's A New Earth.  The Witness exists.  If it didn't those books nor my experience would ring true!!