Do You Have A Self Actualizing Plan?

[100rockets]

Do you have a real strategy with goals and how to get there? What do you work on first?

I'm all over the place with self development and getting frustrated. When I focus on one thing like my financial issues then I neglect my relationships and my health. If I work on everything at once then I get really slow results and wonder if this the right way to approach it. I just watched Leos video: How to be a strategic motherfucker and I wrote down my goals and created a plan for the more urgent matters I want to fix in my life but it will help to hear some success stories and strategies. Any input will be really appreciated.

[Xpansion]

No lol   However I have only just started the course so Im hoping things will change.

[abrakamowse]

I am a disaster for making plans

[100rockets]

Well at least I'm not the only one..

[Telepresent]

"No battle plan survives contact with the enemy" - Helmuth von Moltke

This is very, very important.  Plans are crucial.  The recognition that plans will fall apart, and you will be scrambling to hold them together, moreso.

Yes, I have plans that constantly need re-assessing and re-addressing on a day-by-day, week-by-week, and so on basis.  But this is where the difference between strategy  and tactics really comes into the fold.  Strategy is long-term, and any approach to it is legitimate.

Since I was 14 or so, I knew I wanted to work in the theatre.  I'm now 31, and just about at a point where I might be able to make a living as a professional director.  Between then and now were multiple education streams, jobs, opportunities for learning and experience, massive risks, and points where I was balled up on the floor crying because it felt like my life and my dreams were over.

What has been the one constant, that has held me on track through all that?  A target: I want to work as a fully-paid theatre-maker.  That shit isn't easy, and it's a whole different thing to say "I can live with that" when you're 16, than when you're 26.

Now, for the first half of my years since leaving university until now, I did fuck all to achieve this goal.  I had no strategy, no idea of how I was going to approach my dream, just this sense that somehow I needed (and deserved) it.  Then, when I was 24, I suddenly had the realisation that if I didn't make it happen, it never would.  So I made a play.

Since that moment, everything I have done has been based on one question: "how does this help me get there?"  I've turned down and left jobs because they haven't helped.  I've taken jobs which involve stupid amounts of travel because they give me experience.  I've pushed myself through those many, many, many moments of crying on the floor, because I've somehow understood that I just could not stop.  

And I've made really, really stupid mistakes.  I look back now, and I recognise how many of my tactics could have been way, way better.  But you know what else?  I look back and see a life that 24-year-old me would be profoundly jealous of.  And as I've achieved, my strategic goals have grown, and changed.  Become more ambitious.  Continue to grow.

I'm not sure what my point is, other than to say you lament slow results.  I know it doesn't help you right now in the 'wanting' stage, but slow results are still results, and very very important.  Ultimately, if you feel like you neglect an area (such as health or relationships), I would call that bad strategy.  Don't neglect the long term in pursuit of short-term satisfaction, and keep your eye on the goal(s).

[Telepresent]

I will also point out that there have been points where one thing is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.  Such as when I was suicidal, or when I had to stop drinking but couldn't.  Sometimes, dealing with one thing supports the rest.

But if you feel like focus on one thing is damaging to another area, that's something to keep an eye on 

[abrakamowse]

@Telepresent  what are the most common techniques do you use to achieve that? Notebooks? Mind maps? Some software?

I want to make a plan too but I am very disorganized. My mind wanders a lot and I need to take notes of things to be on focus. But sometimes even taking notes I end doing other stuff....

[Telepresent]

@abrakamowse Learning to use Excel properly was a game-changer: it's allowed me to make my own calendars, schedules (short-term, mid-term, long-term), track finances, all sorts.  Really good for practical admin. 

There have been times when I've needed to be really strict on myself in terms of how I use my time, and in those times I've sometimes made intricately detailed personal calendars - down to the half-hour - of what I'm going to be doing each day in the coming week, from waking to sleeping (including putting in down-time!)  I find that really helps break down the sense of 'so much to do where do I start?' into something attainable.  I'm well practiced enough in that now that I can do 'softer' versions these days (I just listed the stuff I need to do today, in priority/chronological order, in a basic Word document, which is basically the same thing but less detailed).  I like electronic formats though: as you get stuff done you can either change its colour, or delete it, which can feel very rewarding.

For one of the major projects (4+ years) I've been working on, I made myself a time-sheet in Excel: I worked out how many hours per week I should be doing, how much holiday I would allow myself per year, and then on a day-by-day basis track how many hours I'm doing.  That way I can see when I'm doing well, and when I'm falling behind.  I'm attaching a demo version with some random figures thrown in at the top of the first sheet so you can see what I mean.

And, when all else fails, having a commitment to other people does wonders!  Deadlines where people expect to see something, or for you to have produced something, or you need to have a meeting to update your progress, or present your results... depending on the discipline, this may or may not be so easy to incorporate (it's sort of built into the work I'm doing) but it can really light a fire under you when otherwise you wouldn't bother!  These things need to be specific and deadlined, though: there's an odd phenomenon where telling people - say, your friends - that you're going to do something makes you less likely to do it, so watch out for that!

Lord of Time demo.xls

Edited October 19, 2016 by Telepresent

[abrakamowse]

Thank you very much! @Telepresent  I appreciate your advice and thanks for the excel file.

I was thinking in that, learning to use excel, I have seen how useful it can be. That confirms me that I was Ok about thinking in that possibility.

I am also using google keep, it's like a sort of post-it note on the web, I find it useful to make quick notes, or to take note of things I want to check later. And there's also an android and IOs version, so you can take notes on the go. Pretty useful.

 

Thanks again!!!

 

[Telepresent]

Glad to be of help!  I've played around with all sorts of systems, and software, and self-management techniques.  Most of them I've dropped because they just weren't right for me.  But those that did stick have made all the difference.  The more you can try out, the better sense you get of what works for you, and what doesn't.  That's actually a large part of the battle: people try to sell you on "do this one thing and xyz", but that thing may just not work for you.  Work out what does, and you're in a much better place.  And you can only work that out by trying as much as you can, and learning from your experiences

[abrakamowse]

1 hour ago, Telepresent said:

Glad to be of help!  I've played around with all sorts of systems, and software, and self-management techniques.  Most of them I've dropped because they just weren't right for me.  But those that did stick have made all the difference.  The more you can try out, the better sense you get of what works for you, and what doesn't.  That's actually a large part of the battle: people try to sell you on "do this one thing and xyz", but that thing may just not work for you.  Work out what does, and you're in a much better place.  And you can only work that out by trying as much as you can, and learning from your experiences

Cool @Telepresent thanks! Ill do that... appreciated!

:-)

[Telepresent]

Hey @100rockets - wondering if you've had any thoughts since starting this thread?  You mention having written a plan with more urgent matters: given a few days' reflection, how's that looking?

Edited October 21, 2016 by Telepresent

[100rockets]

@Telepresent I really appreciate your response! and I'm happy to hear that you got to where you wanted to be after all that work.  Wanting something badly is a good drive, I dont have anything that im so passionate about... maybe I'll take Leos life purpose course.

As for my plans the first step on my plan is to increase my current income so I broke that into smaller steps. I need to to be more productive so I can have a good reason to ask for a raise. I took your advice about excel, I'm going to play around with that and see if I can use that to keep myself on track. Thank you so much!!

On 10/18/2016 at 3:19 PM, Telepresent said:

Ultimately, if you feel like you neglect an area (such as health or relationships), I would call that bad strategy.  Don't neglect the long term in pursuit of short-term satisfaction, and keep your eye on the goal(s).

You're probably right, I was searching a bit and found this.

I will try to use this as a guide to schedule the most important things in all areas of my life every week and use excel to track my progress. 

 

[abrakamowse]

That was helpful @100rockets  thanks!

[100rockets]

@abrakamowse You're welcome