Annoyance when not meditating

[Koeke]

So I meditate 1.5 hours per day and do kriya yoga 1.5 hours per day. Whenever I don't do either of these things for 4 hours or so, I get a bit agitated and my mind just feels so filthy (not in a moralistic or sexual way). How do I not get consumed by my egoic emotions during the day and especially when I have to read academic philosophy. I know it is a very common question but how do I maintain clarity during the day? I mentally chant mantras whenever I am free but this annoys me after a while.

This post feels a bit silly. I guess I just need to let go or something. "I just feel  like I shouldn't have to feel so much resistance." Haha!

Any thoughts on this?

 

Edited March 16, 2021 by Koeke

[Dark_White]

@Koeke just watch your thoughts without judgement and completely accept them without judging and let go. Let go by letting go of the idea to control and accept it as it is. Don't add stories just watch them and let go.