What do you think defines a PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY person?

[blankisomeone]

In your opinion what are the main characteristic that shine more the more psychologically healthy a person is?

[BlackMaze]

Taking care of his health, able to control emotions, enjoys life, helps others. 

[mandyjw]

 Curiosity, creativity, joy, in tune with and follows their inspiration, lack of self awareness, kind but without care of what people think. Sees challenges as opportunities for growth, takes responsibility for everything but nothing personally. Makes the most of life naturally and effortlessly through inspiration, without motivations of fear or insignificance.

[Farnaby]

Being able to progressively hold more and more space for whatever you're feeling, being able to connect with other people, emotional and cognitive flexibility (being open minded), spontaneity, not taking yourself too seriously, integrating your shadow aspects, decreasing the difference between your inner world and what you portray to other people (authenticity) are some aspects that I can think of 

[Nahm]

‘No mind’. 

[Yahya]

A person who has mastered and nailed his psychology.

[Peter Miklis]

That is hard one to answer. It depends on what level you currently are at understanding self development.

For enlightened, fully integrated people, psychology as a concept ceases to exist. For them, being trully happy means becoming fully aware of one's own nature.

So, I guess, the ultimate guide to most healthy psychology is to stop existing and become God?

[blankisomeone]

14 hours ago, Farnaby said:

decreasing the difference between your inner world and what you portray to other people (authenticity

Oh yeah this one’s huge. When your words and behaviors aren’t in keeping with your inner self and highest values, that’s a recipe for disaster in your psyche

Edited March 16, 2021 by blankisomeone

[throw-22]

If not the most important developed function, a crucial one, namely knowing and upholding/honoring the (invisible and abstract but very real) boundaries between you and others, and by doing so, also between your own parts/selves.

[Consept]

I think the four agreements are a good starting point but especially don't take anything personal. That is one that's really stayed with me and I think is so important. Nothing is really about you, the fact most people go around thinking pretty much everything is about them is very psychologically unhealthy. 

 

[Jacob Morres]

@Consept love that idea. I've been using it for years. Careful not to rationalize peoples behavior because of it. I'm learning that just cuz its not personal doesn't mean I should allow it. 

You might not have any prob with it, just felt compelled to warn you in case 

Edited March 18, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Consept]

3 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

@Consept love that idea. I've been using it for years. Careful not to rationalize peoples behavior because of it. I'm learning that just cuz its not personal doesn't mean I should allow it. 

You might not have any prob with it, just felt compelled to warn you in case 

No I agree, thats an important caveat that you raised. Its easy to follow dont take anything personal and just be like, 'yeah you know ill float through life and let people do what they feel even if it affects me because theyre not aware'. But in reality you have to have your boundaries both for yourself and what is acceptable in general, usually if someone is doing something that hurts you or other people then that needs to be called out, the person youre calling out then has a choice to continue their behavior elsewhere or hopefully change it. Its like a dog that bites too hard when it plays, it doesnt mean or even know its doing it but you cant allow it to continue, so you have to give it a firm rebuke every time it does it so it knows and if it doesnt listen you may have to rehome it. 

[Farnaby]

@Consept the problem with these kinds of "ideas" and "affirmations" is that while they are probably true, they can lead you to spiritually bypass what you're feeling in the moment. 

Let's say I felt rejected which brought up a feeling of unworthiness, loneliness or whatever that stems from my childhood. I can tell myself "nobody can reject you", "don't take it personal". Doing that in that precise moment is spiritually bypassing the truth of what I'm feeling. It creates further internal fragmentation. It could actually be seen as a trauma response because it's exactly what people used to do with our emotions when we were kids: dismiss them, try to distract us from them and so on. 

IMO it's way healthier for our mental health to avoid rationalizing and just be present with whatever it is that we're feeling. Fully allow it, surrender to it, be unconditionally accepting of it. This doesn't necessarily mean acting on it, but overriding it with rationalization is a form of repression that creates new problems. 

[Consept]

1 hour ago, Farnaby said:

@Consept the problem with these kinds of "ideas" and "affirmations" is that while they are probably true, they can lead you to spiritually bypass what you're feeling in the moment. 

Let's say I felt rejected which brought up a feeling of unworthiness, loneliness or whatever that stems from my childhood. I can tell myself "nobody can reject you", "don't take it personal". Doing that in that precise moment is spiritually bypassing the truth of what I'm feeling. It creates further internal fragmentation. It could actually be seen as a trauma response because it's exactly what people used to do with our emotions when we were kids: dismiss them, try to distract us from them and so on. 

IMO it's way healthier for our mental health to avoid rationalizing and just be present with whatever it is that we're feeling. Fully allow it, surrender to it, be unconditionally accepting of it. This doesn't necessarily mean acting on it, but overriding it with rationalization is a form of repression that creates new problems. 

I don't see it as an affirmation or a bypass mechanism, I'll admit it could be used like that. But I think it is a reality and it's acknowledging the reality that when your mum shouted at you as a kid and you got upset it wasn't about you it was either your mum had a bad day, or had her own traumas but there was a reason for it. Thinking it was about you is a childish notion of the world revolving around you. I think it's probably the most realistic thing you could think about a lot of situations 

[Farnaby]

@Consept yes, I agree that it's probably true that it has more to do with how the other person feels. 

But it still feels like emotional bypassing/repression to me. 

If you feel something, dismissing it because you judge it as childish will only repress the emotion, not allowing it to be processed.

It's like telling someone who just lost his parents that they are in a better place now, that they will always be in his heart and so on. Often times that doesn't allow the emotion to be felt and processed.

[Consept]

5 hours ago, Farnaby said:

@Consept 

It's like telling someone who just lost his parents that they are in a better place now, that they will always be in his heart and so on. Often times that doesn't allow the emotion to be felt and processed.

I dont really get the analogy because what you're saying is something that's not true or at least not verifiable to console someone and so yes, in that case they won't face the emotion and repress it. But saying that it wasn't personal when your mum shouted at you is facing the reality, the alternative is to say to you or for you to think that your mum shouted at you all because of you, that is not actually true, it's a faulty perspective. These perspectives are exactly what build up life long  traumas in kids, when they think that their parents divorced because of them for example.

I don't see how it would be helpful to process a faulty perspective, might be more helpful to correct your perspective even retroactively which is something commonly done in therapy. Or of course could be both where you process it as well as changing perspective. 

[Farnaby]

@Consept maybe the analogy wasn't the best.

My point is, you need to process and allow the faulty perspective before being able to really accept a more accurate perspective. 

You can't think yourself out of a difficult emotion or trauma. 

Trauma isn't created by a faulty perspective but by an inability to process intense and difficult emotions and not having someone who can be present with those emotions when you needed it. The faulty perspective and beliefs are the symptom/result of trauma, not the other way around.

[Consept]

2 hours ago, Farnaby said:

@Consept maybe the analogy wasn't the best.

My point is, you need to process and allow the faulty perspective before being able to really accept a more accurate perspective. 

You can't think yourself out of a difficult emotion or trauma. 

Trauma isn't created by a faulty perspective but by an inability to process intense and difficult emotions and not having someone who can be present with those emotions when you needed it. The faulty perspective and beliefs are the symptom/result of trauma, not the other way around.

Obviously we're talking about a long process of overcoming trauma, that cant be summed or minimised here as its a complexed thing. What youre saying of course has some truth, but i wasnt talking about emotionally bypassing trauma by using an affirmation. The question from op was 'what makes a psychologically healthy person', i would argue that being psychologically healthy includes, but is not limited to, truly not taking things personally. If you are not psychologically healthy and are saying a mantra to get there obviously thats not psychologically healthy. If someone takes everything personally of course thats not healthy. Its not going to completely alleviate past trauma of course but is used as a tool to open ones perspective by many therapists to overcome the past trauma, whilst they also be with and process the past trauma. If people are aware of this 'rule' going forward, it can also reduce trauma, that guy that cut you off in traffic that i cant stop thinking about and taking it personal? Actually a different perspective is i just happened to be there but he cuts people off everyday so its not personal to me. 

Im not arguing against what youre saying, its just that its not a binary either/or situation 

[Raphael]

 

[Farnaby]

@Consept yes, I agree that trauma recovery is a complex process. However, in my experience the "I take nothing personal" attitude is only really effective when it happens naturally. If you have to use some kind of affirmation to reach that state, it's a coping mechanism IMO. Think about it this way: you wouldn't need to tell yourself "don't take anything personal" if you weren't taking things personal. The fact that you're trying to talk yourself out of it means that you're triggered in that precise moment, so it's actually you repressing that wounded part of yourself. Not saying a coping mechanism can't be useful, but eventually you will take things personally again, as much as you try not to, especially if the root cause hasn't been addressed.

And the root usually stems from childhood, where you couldn't consider so many perspectives. So, in a sense, the way out is to allow the emotions and to be present with that part that got stuck in childhood and treat it like a child, not rationalize with it.

However, I completely agree that the healthier a person is psychologically, the less he/she gets triggered and the tendency to take things personal diminishes greatly.