It's All Write

[mandyjw]

Now whenever I have a negative thought directed back at myself my mantra is, "keep the shakeweight away from your face".  This guy is AMAZING. 

[mandyjw]

Abraham Hicks says that your vibration on any subject is where you last left it. During an awakening do you clean up several subjects all together? That's what happened to me, a lot of long dormant but kind of awful feeling perspectives were shifted and some newer ones too.

I noticed today that I have resistance to throwing out old food in the fridge. It's already too old to eat, but in order to clean it out and throw it out, I have to face the fact that I wasted the food, and the feeling of regret or neglect. So that feeling causes me to leave old food in the fridge, which causes me to waste more food because the fridge is cluttered and I can't see all of what is in there. If I could just ditch the feeling of regret and failed personal responsibility, the entire situation would be so much more efficient. 

If I get myself all motivated and psyched up to have an amazingly clean fridge, (couldn't take it any longer and stopped to actually clean old stuff out of fridge) then I can in one go, let go of all the old stuff, cause my focus is the result I want, and I get in the flow. So the awakening I experienced was like cleaning the fridge out in one go. But I may have missed some old moldy stuff in the back, (but god DAMN that thing looked spectacular from that vantage point!) and I never learned the habit of throwing out stuff when I realize it's old. 

There was this spectacular moment when I was in *poof* bliss state that I went to my parents house and they dumped some strangely reacting homemade kefir down the sink and both exclaimed over what a shame it was. That bottle of kefir was worth its weight in GOLD in my eyes. I watched this and I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that nothing could be wasted.

"What a shadow of a doubt." Just saw this extra text floating around. Where did that come from? Says it originated with The Scarlet Letter, "beyond a shadow of a doubt". Love that book. Fascinating phrase when you think of it. 

beyond (prep., adv.)

Old English begeondan "on the other side of, from the farther side," from be- "by," here probably indicating position, + geond "yonder" (prep.); see yond. A compound not found elsewhere in Germanic. From late 14c. as "further on than," 1530s as "out of reach of." To be beyond (someone) "to pass (someone's) comprehension" is by 1812.

be yond. Jesus language is dumb. I've been hoodwinked. 

hoodwink (v.)

1560s, "to blindfold, blind by covering the eyes," from hood (n.1) + wink (n.); figurative sense of "blind the mind, mislead, deceive by disguise" is c. 1600. Related: Hoodwinked; hoodwinking.

hood wink? Really, that's all that means? Face palm.

Anyway.

I dunno, am I reaching for perfection? I'm not one to have a perfect fridge. I am not my fridge. I am be yond my fridge. I just want to let go of the stupid guilt about getting rid of stuff that doesn't serve me, that motivates me to hold on to it. 

I realized this morning that this sort of storyline of clingy personalities in my family wasn't true and wasn't serving me, and was the moldy lentil soup in the fridge. But I'm glad it bubbled up. 

I realized that loneliness and neediness is driven not by any conditions of people or myself but by not taking the time to appreciate myself and other people. 

Conversations are a learning experience because I have in place so many old habits of relating. I remember when I first discovered Eckhart Tolle I was so determined that I put on this fake persona and refused to complain and started repressing emotions. A week or two later I blew up and felt much better. 

It's a process. It's not a process. 

process (n.)

early 14c., proces, "fact of being carried on" (as in in process), from Old French proces "a journey; continuation, development; legal trial" (13c.) and directly from Latin processus "a going forward, advance, progress," from past-participle stem of procedere "go forward" (see proceed).

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know

[mandyjw]

Any way. Hadn't thought about that one much either.

Any way Yaweh, it's my way or the High way. 

Yup, I'm insane. 

Ohh... I see what I'm trying to do here. I'm trying to use the thought of specific other people to bolster my own confidence in seeking, embodying and expressing this stuff. Cause it seems insane sometimes. In other words, I'm still personally concerned it's insane. My idea of sane is an idea a sick society gave me, and it was never a very clear, nor inspiring picture. I never did get to meet Sane. I'm sure he was a great guy. Certainly couldn't have been a woman. 

That's why wanting validation from people around this subject is SO strong I think. I could test out my new autonomy and independence and use how things feel to judge them by, and be free and connected with Source. But then, I sort of think that I might need the moldly lentil soup for something later, you never know. 

[mandyjw]

Society is becoming more and more demanding that public figures lives clean lives. I think that this is a positive sign of an evolving society, and it's making life a lot more fair but as always, there's a danger of neurosis, expectation of perfection and of witch hunt like behaviors. 

I think with spiritual teachers this obsession becomes even more neurotic. We are like monkeys, if we see something wrong with another monkey, we are much less willing to follow his crazy new ideas of how to climb trees. If he's limping, and you follow his advice, you might break your leg. Common sense. 

So with spiritual teachers and taking them as encouragement, knowledge and an example of success in letting go of long held beliefs, it's sort of like, "uhmm hold up, can I see your basement first and check that there are no dead bodies in there before I implement all this?" 

(If the teacher is sensitive to this dynamic, and tries to avoid it rather than understanding it, they will be the Pastor whose only last perceived source of freedom  is to screw their secretary.)

And that metaphorical checking the basement won't satisfy, because you're trying to turn yourself into a new creation without realizing that the idea of you is always your new creation, already, anyway. 

"Whoever is in Christ/(Source) is a new creation." 

It really doesn't "do" to make people into people, "I Am the Light, the Way and the Truth" turns into an thought of Jesus on the cross will save me from eternal hell in the future. And so we shouldn't make teachers into teachers. 

"Jesus said to them, "When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you will enter [the kingdom]." The Gospel of Thomas

So in the scenario of the Pastor screwing the secretary or the guru with his groupies, nice try guys! Close but no cigar.  

Edited April 7, 2021 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

Every human behavior is completely understandable.

One of my biggest blockages to creating and just genuinely enjoying life is that sometimes I feel overlooked or insignificant. Of course, I Awareness am overlooked and already insignificant in that moment.  Damn... tricky, brilliant, obvious AF.  

When you create something, some people are gonna LOVE it some are gonna HATE it, most won't give a shit at all if it even enters their awareness. I'm not sure why I would think that what I create should be any different from the normal range of reactions to music, fashion, or anything. When something becomes really popular people are given a motive to open their mind to it, "everyone loves this so it must be good" but then they might just be people who aren't really in touch with what in particular tickles their fancy in just the right way. So you have people who hate and avoid popular things, cause these things are unintelligent and watered down. And funny enough, they fall into the same trap. Vanilla is vanilla, but when you line up with your choice whether anyone thinks it's cliche, or vanilla or incredibly obscure and weird and fully enjoy it as if it's the only thing for you in that moment, there's nothing better. 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

Learning about thoughts and nonduality and law of attraction sometimes feels like stepping out of an old automatic transmission regular car into a race car, but without knowing how to drive a stick shift. I've had the basic lesson but shifting still isn't too smooth, still stalling out sometimes. It's hard not to blame yourself for it or expect too much from yourself. "Keep the shakeweight away from your face!"

When you get it right though, BOY it's a rush. 

This video is amazing especially when you consider where she takes the originally presented subject. 

I learned a few years ago how to not go crazy selling made ahead items, I used to feel really frustrated when sales were low. I learned that if I shifted my focus to having a well stocked store and the opportunity to be creative and make new things, rather than looking at my sales I could quickly be happy and motivated about everything again.  I'd laugh when something sold because frustration arose because it set the goal I was then focused on backwards, even though I got what I really wanted. 

I wonder if "enlightenment" is the actual non-goal, and all the other stuff we do is the delightful distraction that allows us to get what we really want in the first place. There is no focus without distraction, but really, there is no distraction, only focus because when you notice distraction you're focused on it. 

HA! 

 

[mandyjw]

Oh!!! The cosmic joke, burns a bit, why'd ya do us like that universe? Cause if you didn't, there's be no doing or us at all? Still can't help but find it hilarious though. 

[mandyjw]

Is everyone just pretending to be someone they're not? 

Well, yes. And no. 

Jesus, fuck! 

Yes, the two most emotion triggering words. 

They are not two! I've finally found my salvation!

Found? My? How many is that?  

Jesus, fuck! 

 

[mandyjw]

Attention! A tension! 

[mandyjw]

So I got in one of those, "up past my bedtime, too tired to get up, but happily in a mysterious and stuck reading incredibly interesting things online" mood. 

https://www.businessinsider.com/titanics-books-predicted-disaster-2018-4#:~:text=The second novella — "The Wreck,the North Atlantic and sinks.

 

People channel, everyone channels all the time, but when in a creative flow state, you channel more than you know. Harry Potter was channeled, Green Eggs and Ham, channeled, The Gruffalo, channeled, etc, etc. Creativity does not have seperate sources. 

An event that fascinates the world for so long has created so many thoughts, that of course some of them would spill over into non time and appear before the event even happened. 

I believe that everyone can channel wisdom and love, pointing to the truth, but sometimes people can channel "lesser" information, or predictive information, for whatever reason. If reality is co-created and you the Knowing of it are also the Creating of it, then you have the opportunity for certain "ins" if they work for love and healing. 

If you know something is going to happen you both created it with the thought of it before it happened and predicted it, or neither. This question can't be answered because it's based on a false premise. 

This sounds fantastical and impossible to the mind that likes to say things are mundane or fantastical, but Knowing is both and neither those things. There already is no time outside of thought. You already cannot and do not "live" within a thought paradigm or matrix. The very Knowing of everything is already time-less, space-less, in-finite. You can only describe what it is not, is it Knowing or No-ing?

The only "way" is complete relaxation, coupled with intense desire and curiosity, and there's really no other word that points to being able to be those seemingly seperate and at odds things at the same time better than the word Love. 

[mandyjw]

A bunch of things sort of culminated and I *realized* and it's gonna sound dumb when I say it, cause it's obvious but I realized it's about inviting hard feelings to me. Now I'm all over-enthusiastic over here like, "here, kitty, kitty", and nothing wants to come to me.

Avoid  A void. late Middle English: from Old French evuider ‘clear out, get rid of’, from vuide ‘empty’ (see void).

Wow, wow, wow. 

[mandyjw]

 

[mandyjw]

 "You accept very low standards."

THIS is what I was asking last night, I was starting to literally ask it from my dad and something stopped me, why do personal development coaches help but also hinder when they tell us/motivate to set the bar higher? Because the real standard you should be raising is how you want/expect to FEEL, your very Awareness of feeling. Everything else is only a very indirect desire to feel better and will come at the expense of feeling unless this is understood. 

[mandyjw]

tension (n.)

1530s, "a stretched condition," from French tension (16c.) or directly from Latin tensionem (nominative tensio) "a stretching" (in Medieval Latin "a struggle, contest"), noun of state from tensus, past participle of tendere "to stretch," from PIE root *ten- "to stretch." The sense of "nervous strain" is first recorded 1763. The meaning "stress along lines of electromotive force" (as in high-tension wires) is recorded from 1785.

attention (n.)

late 14c., "a giving heed, active direction of the mind upon some object or topic," from Old French attencion and directly from Latin attentionem (nominative attentio) "attention, attentiveness," noun of action from past-participle stem of attendere "give heed to," literally "to stretch toward," from ad "to, toward" (see ad-) + tendere "stretch," from PIE root *ten- "to stretch."

tender (adj.)

"soft, easily injured," early 13c., from Old French tendre "soft, delicate; young" (11c.), from Latin tenerem (nominative tener) "soft, delicate; of tender age, youthful," from a derivative of PIE root *ten- "to stretch," on the notion of "stretched," hence "thin," hence "weak" or "young." Compare Sanskrit tarunah "young, tender," Greek teren "tender, delicate," Armenian t'arm "young, fresh, green."

tend (v.1)

"to incline, to move in a certain direction," early 14c., from Old French tendre "stretch out, hold forth, hand over, offer" (11c.), from Latin tendere "to stretch, extend, make tense; aim, direct; direct oneself, hold a course," from PIE root *ten- "to stretch."

You cannot stretch anything without having two seperate points. The act of stretching is an act in duality with creates tension and then the enivitable release of that resistance, momentum and all movement. Tension could not be created at all if the true nature was not non-resistance and nonseperation. Ok, so this is where string theory comes from, but actually because there is no matter outside Awareness of it, it's the observer holding the attention or stretching thier own attention from observer to object that is the "string", so to speak. 

Every love song or love story is an exploration of the same sort, string theory is an exploration. Every scientist's cold, logical contemplations and observations are as emotional and subjective as an Elvis song and every Elvis song is as cold and impersonal as a scientist's data. 

 

[mandyjw]

[mandyjw]

So think of a rubber band held at a point and actively pulled/stretched from another. That's you. That's your attention. That's your a tension. 

For you to become, be-come, be, (a point) come, (stretch/move), you have to exist (stick out) of a background of nonbecoming and your tension, your sticking out (existing), your be-coming must always "be" its true nature, nonbeing, nonmovement, nonexistance.

Our existance is like the universe sliding down a steep, snowy hill enjoying the thrill of nonresitance and drudging back up it again to repeat the thrill. It's all fun and games until someone forgets it's all fun and games. 

You can just sit down in the snow if you want while you remember that you're not compelled to repeat the cycle. It doesn't matter. 

Since thier own attension is the ONLY tension, there is no tension imposed upon them. Up on is another way of saying be come, or tension/attention, a thing and a movement. 

 upon (prep.)

early 12c., from Old English uppan (prep.) "on, upon, up to, against," from up (adv.) + on (prep.); probably influenced by Scandinavian sources such as Old Norse upp a.

On, Upon. These words are in many uses identical in force, but upon is by origin (up + on) and in use more distinctly expressive of motion to the object from above or from the side. On has the same force, but is so widely used in other ways, and so often expresses mere rest, that it is felt by careful writers to be inadequate to the uses for which upon is preferred. [Century Dictionary, 1895] https://www.etymonline.com/word/upon

Once. Upon. A. Time. 

Happily. Ever. After. 

And before the story, the middle of the story, and after the story is just... your Aware, attention creates the story. 

"Happily ever after is the order of the Universe." -Abraham Hicks

 

Edited April 17, 2021 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

Oh, I ALREADY carefully choose, feel into and align with what I want. I'm already a master at this. I forgot and started to tell another story, maybe because I thought it was more interesting and I forgot that more interesting is not actually more authentic, and more interesting is not more enthralling and more interesting is not what feels the best. I'm raising my standards so high, I don't have any anymore. At some point they shot through the atmosphere and the rest of us just stood there watching where they had been with our mouths hanging open for a while, until we lost interest and went on with our lives. Happily. Ever. After. 

Edited April 18, 2021 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

The other night I dreamed I got into a minor car accident, but it was SO annoying. Guy ahead of me stopped, I was super annoyed and had to stop and basically waited and watched in the rear view mirror while someone not paying attention rear-ended me. 

I feel shook up, like bottomless, falling sensation in stomach, tears, etc. It's not that anything big happened, wait, am I still trying to explain my feelings? Fuck that.

Awakening started with opening to the idea of channeling, judging and being creeped out by Abraham Hicks, but resonating SO profoundly then shortly weeks later experiencing channeling. I recognized that certain people's vibrations would bring this out, and it has always been happening that way. Since that, I have experienced it off and on, and there really is no border between a writer's "voice", inspired words, or anything else, but it can be intoxicating. You know when you know it.

This morning on the forum a number of my responses were/felt channeled. They felt amazing. Visited my sister and that was weird, weird observations there and came back and the responses to these responses were somewhat sickening. 

I don't really care much who the OP is, usually the people you help are the ones who attract the reading of the thread, not necessarily outright ask the question. But it doesn't matter, I LOVE to get a response that something resonated and felt as good to read as it felt to write. But I want to be more stable in just how it felt to write being enough. 

I have realized lately that I am a teacher, I can fuck around and reject this all I want, but this is happening. I'm good at this, I've always been good at this, there's nothing more natural. I LOVE making the videos, the entire process. I love people, I love talking to people who really want to learn, I love it so much I don't even care much if they don't. 

I'm scared. I guess I'm still scared. I have no fucking credentials. I'm a petite, shy, high school educated housewife who makes pretty insignificant little things.

I know this is bullshit. I know what I am. I've always known what I am. 

Lyin! Lion. Suddenly my business name makes even more sense. It's big, powerful and it's small and lowly and significant at the same time. 

The dandelion. In a moment of spontaneous enjoyment and whimsy the perfect form disappears and spreads its potential all across, wherever they may fall. 

 

 

[Zeroguy]

Yes. Lion. 

Wish you well. I just sound harsh.ENTJ can't help it. 

[mandyjw]

@Zeroguy You is not, and you is know this, zero is infinity. 

 

Well, that leads perfectly into my next subject, people aren't what I think they are. I mean oh God, what a relief but still, feels a little... creepy to be left with this...

 

confusion? I'd say "I'm on my own", but there's not even that. Thank God. 

Not that either.

Oh give me a break. 

You'd think after my 666 post here, I would have woken up. BAHAHAHA. 

You'd think.