How to stop comparing yourself to other people

[vander]

 

 

1.The tendency to compare ourselves with other people is at the root of most people’s lack of satisfaction, even when what they have is more than most people can ever dream of.

2.Wishes that come from our comparing ourselves to other people are not conducive to true happiness, since just when you finally manage to get even, there is always someone with more. There is always someone doing better, at least enough to make you feel like we don’t have enough. There is always someone who makes you feel like you need to get even. This is why there is no point in grounding your identity on being the best anything, as you will always find yourself the loser if you think hard enough about your accomplishments.

 

3.Today, happiness is only real for those things we can brag about. The thing is that human beings come in all shapes and sizes, which in turn make one’s source of happiness different from someone else’s. Sometimes what makes you truly happy is not something you can brag about, and that doesn’t make your source of happiness any less worthy.

4.Just as we can be less happy when we compare ourselves to other people and lose the comparison game, so we can when other people openly compare themselves to us. Just because someone makes it sound or look like your way of living is inferior to theirs doesn’t mean it is. In fact, trying to change their mind about it is a losing battle, as you’re now playing a game in which the rules are set by your opponent, and phrased in such a way as to automatically put them 5 or 10 steps ahead. The worst thing about it is that this is the kind of game in which winning always leaves you with a bitter-sweet aftertaste. One where happiness only exists in forced smiles but not in the heart.

 

5.Comparing yourself to yourself from the standpoint of your own values is one of the most important steps towards true contentment. When you let someone else set the rules you may succeed at winning the game of appearances at best, and at worst risk losing it in perpetuity, as the same mind that created and imposed the rules in the first place can just as easily change them, and logic is not required. Emotion is often enough of a reason.

 

 

What do you think?

[neovox]

Compare yourself to  your conception of yesterdays, last week or month's self, and nothing else. Instead focus that energy attention on realizing yourself and cultivating a genuine appreciation for those characteristics you like. There is no need to ever compare to anything out side of yourself. That is a guaranteed self sabotage.  Spend quality time with yourself, do some pampering self care, begin a modest fitness routine and healthy diet. Make a deal with yourself right now and hold to it. NO COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. How's is your living environment? Relationships? 

 

    

[neovox]

i don't presume to know anything, but I would suggest that you build a regular relationship with a professional that can help you root out some of this discomfort. My sincere Love and best wishes. 

[Yahya]

1. @vander Leo already made a video on ithttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWs6GBwXnmw