lonely AF

[levani]

I contemplate a lot a lot and I do all the work to increase my consciousness but I keep getting backlashes to this low consciousness loneliness shit and i distract myself with pussy and food.

I'm almost always alone, 99% of my time, i don't have friends, family or a gf

I have done a lot of deep consciousness work in the last few months especially since the beginning of Covid, so i'm not "missing the opportunity"

 

my question is how healthy is it to always be alone, literally 99%...

I'm gonna increase my girl approaching pua shit from tomorrow again, i've done it for many years before, so yeah, change my mind or help.

 

please

Edited March 13, 2021 by levani

[Roy]

What do others provide you with, that you yourself can't provide yourself with?

Consider that you're looking for others to "cure" your loneliness, as a distraction from tackling it internally, head on.

So, is your consciousness and contemplative work at all geared towards tackling your loneliness?

[levani]

@Roy well i don't have a pussy so let's start there. Also I feel like human beings are social species and interaction is necessary in a way, wouldn't you say ?

I can't live the rest of my life alone, that would be a sad life

My consciousness work is geared towards being a complete human being and removing all suffering, And overcoming rationality

There is nothing more to life for me, there is a few things that are still in the stage orange sort of achievement goal orientated type of thing, but I know or some part of me knows that even that shit won't make me happy, so what's left, consciousness work

[Roy]

10 minutes ago, levani said:

well i don't have a pussy so let's start there. Also I feel like human beings are social species and interaction is necessary in a way, wouldn't you say ?

Yes, that's true. Besides being responsible for COVID, are the things that might be stopping you from getting that interaction right now insurmountable?

Notice and dissect the contents of the statement, "I can't live the rest of my life alone". You are referring to it as if it's something that's already a reality, and one that cannot change. Not just that but you ascribe "sadness" on top of it, but you are probably aware that people are able to be alone and be happy right? Not that I'm advocating you do so, just trying to get you to consider it's possible.

The consciousness work is great, but don't be so eager to climb uphill with a boulder on your back. Suffering is a part of existence, because existence is everything of course. Do you see how you might be creating even more suffering by trying to remove it? Obviously it's preferred to minimize it, or avoid it if it's unnecessary, but to try and "remove" part of reality won't work, and it's actually a form of selfishness. If you mean something different by the word remove, I'll listen.

Do you know or do you feel that goal oriented or material stuff won't make you happy? Who is to judge that what makes @levani happy is a bad thing or "shit", besides @levani?

I don't mean to overstep here, but I do want to challenge you a bit because I sense you've accepted some sort of limitations that anything that isn't this consciousness work or higher value spiritual labor is a waste of time. Consider that might be relative for what you actually need right now. Remember you said yourself you want to be a complete human being, so wouldn't it be wise to have some more patience and not skip over stuff?

 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

5 hours ago, levani said:

I have done a lot of deep consciousness work in the last few months especially since the beginning of Covid, so i'm not "missing the opportunity"

my question is how healthy is it to always be alone, literally 99%...

I'm gonna increase my girl approaching pua shit from tomorrow again, i've done it for many years before, so yeah, change my mind or help.

I've hit a similar wall recently because the amount of time alone I've had because of COVID. I don't think it's healthy to be alone 99% of the time unless you reached a certain point in consciousness work. I think what can happen to people from my experience is that they can get attached to detaching. By that I mean they are attached to whatever they think that detachment will bring them or because they having issues getting their needs met, they resort to detaching from those needs as a survival mechanism to reduce/ numb pain. Detaching prematurely, especially when it comes to needs that are unmet, can create a lot of shadows and then lead to repression. If this resonates, I would encourage you to try to meet and exhaust those needs until it isn't a need anymore. If the circumstances around you is so that you can't meet those needs ,work around them, but if it's something that is out of your control, I'd say respect and honor those needs instead of trying to transcend them for the time being

5 hours ago, levani said:

I contemplate a lot a lot and I do all the work to increase my consciousness but I keep getting backlashes to this low consciousness loneliness shit

Even though detachment can be challenging, there is a part of it that should feel natural because it is aligning with your current stage of development. Detaching too soon can lead to constant backlashes. Those backlashes aren't failures or a lack of will power rather it is a sign saying "hey, there is something here you haven't fulfilled or exhausted yet. Check this out or else there will be more backlashes telling you the same thing."

2 hours ago, levani said:

My consciousness work is geared towards being a complete human being and removing all suffering, And overcoming rationality

There is nothing more to life for me, there is a few things that are still in the stage orange sort of achievement goal orientated type of thing, but I know or some part of me knows that even that shit won't make me happy, so what's left, consciousness work

Considering there is a part of you that knows stage orange goal oriented stuff won't make you happy, I wouldn't recommend doing pua stuff. Emotionally, you're recognizing those limits and they aren't resonating so doing that won't fulfill that need. There is a huge gap between stage orange and transcending your needs through consciousness work. Nothing wrong with doing the latter at any point, but when it comes to exhausting your needs, it's better to go step by step so you avoid shadows and repression.

What about your stage green need, wants, and desires? How far do you think you exhausted those? 

Edited March 14, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Peter Miklis]

Are you really sure you are over this whole Ego thing? Because if you were, you wouldn't mind being alone, at all. Judging by the way you still want sex and companionship, you don't strike me as someone who doesn't need anything and is happy as he is.

One important thing I realized (which was confirmed in one of the Leo's videos) is that you can't surpass underdeveloped Ego. First thing you have to do is get a healthy Ego instead of shitty one, and THEN you can transcend it. Sure, you can go from point A to point Z, but that's very very challenging.

Have you done enough approaching those few years ago? Were you working on your life purphose long enough? If not, then you should probably do that first, while also mantaining some spiritual practices.

 

[Nahm]

@levani

15 hours ago, levani said:

I contemplate a lot a lot and I do all the work to increase my consciousness but I keep getting backlashes to this low consciousness loneliness shit and i distract myself with pussy and food.

Stop fragmenting yourself, with the thinking of yourself, as low conscious & high conscious. Accept that you can not think, yourself, because you are yourself. Shift focus to what you want to experience, and it will be so. 

15 hours ago, levani said:

I'm almost always alone, 99% of my time, i don't have friends, family or a gf

When you shift to focusing on what you want, the beliefs you’v been holding which are behind that, will dispel.

15 hours ago, levani said:

I have done a lot of deep consciousness work in the last few months especially since the beginning of Covid, so i'm not "missing the opportunity"

Motive is avoiding missing out on something, inspiration is the natural feeling of focusing on what you want. If and when emotions of unworthiness arise, use the emotional scale. Notice it is the habit of focusing / thinking about yourself, and shift again to what your want. Notice in an overall way, you’ve been sort of going through a checklist, focusing on abstraction, other people, etc, and are now coming back around to address what you want. 

15 hours ago, levani said:

my question is how healthy is it to always be alone, literally 99%...

There isn’t an alone or not alone, sorry if that ‘bursts’ a bubble. You’re feeling the alignment or discord of the thoughts you’re focusing on. The context, or interpretation is far more relevant than the content of perception. Another way to say that, you’re focusing on wether loneliness is healthy or not...which doesn’t feel good to focus on...instead, focus directly on what you do want. 

15 hours ago, levani said:

I'm gonna increase my girl approaching pua shit from tomorrow again, i've done it for many years before, so yeah, change my mind or help.

Same beliefs, same focus, same experience, same results. 

 

 

Give this a once over for anything you might be attempting to skip, which is prior to the interactions and relationships you are desiring to experience. Think fundamentally, foundationally... like the story of the three little pigs, if you will. 

[levani]

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

Stop fragmenting yourself

haven't the faintest what that means...

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

Accept that you can not think

why can't i bro ? i can think about anything I want

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

because you are yourself

and why does that mean i can't think ? i can be myself and think at the same time no ? if i can't this is news to me

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

Shift focus to what you want to experience, and it will be so. 

yes, i've just read it now the whole thing finally, it makes sense.

(So yes of course i/you need people in order to not think about sex and not fitting in)

 

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

When you shift to focusing on what you want, the beliefs you’v been holding which are behind that, will dispel.

beliefs about being lonely ?

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

inspiration is the natural feeling of focusing on what you want

gold

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

Notice it is the habit of focusing / thinking about yourself, and shift again to what your want

so if i want to be around people but i am

lonely, I shouldn't focus about being lonely, I should focus on getting more friends, is that what you're saying ?

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

There isn’t an alone or not alone, sorry if that ‘bursts’ a bubble.

well, i don't understand that bro, if i am alone in a room, i am alone, if there is someone with me, i am not alone, that's how my mainstream mind works

 

 

As for the Maslow's hierarchy, i'm not a fan of my family as they bore the life out of me, not a big fan at all of being around them, they drag me down so to speak, i am missing the friends and the sexual intimacy, there's no intimacy in my sex, i barely even approach anymore girls that message me just want the bbc, there's not even kissing involved with most of them, but i am looking now for a relationship/intimacy, i started feeling like i want a high quality/caring relationship.

all of the esteem except maybe confidence (maybe) is missing too, I'm working hard every day to figure out what my life purpose is but it's not easy.

and the self actualization is sort of missing too.

 

Edited March 15, 2021 by levani

[Nahm]

@levani

Make a dreamboard. Think of what you want to create & experience, instead of  about yourself. 

Inspect... if you’re aware of the thoughts, who are the thoughts about?

 

[Snader]

Are you sure you have burned all the material karma? To me it used to cause a lot of suffering when I wasn't honest about it. I wasn't because I thought there is no way to do both; raise consciousness while having material pursuits, so I decided to say NO to all that's about materialism. But the balance there is possible and they can be integrated, but you just need right kind of relationship with it. You need to start seeing its healthy agenda in your life. You don't do it out of selfish and material reasons but out of understanding and balance.

Also while you push towards your life purpose, push hard to understanding your own personality. Even though you might want to transcend it, it's still necessary to understand it first, if you want to be functional in life. If you want to move to Himalayas to meditate 24/7 for the rest of your life, then it's not necessary.

Maybe you are better off alone and you are not so social, and it's only culture and social conditioning that makes you feel bad about it? Or maybe you are more of a social creature and feel bad that you lack the skills to make friends and be social? Or maybe it's your higher self that wants to keep you away from ''shallow'' relationships and ''shallow'' conversations, which all your socialization have been about so far? 

[levani]

26 minutes ago, Snader said:

burned all the material karma

what ?

27 minutes ago, Snader said:

push hard to understanding your own personality

advise on this ?

28 minutes ago, Snader said:

You need to start seeing its healthy agenda in your life

how ?

28 minutes ago, Snader said:

Or maybe it's your higher self that wants to keep you away from ''shallow'' relationships and ''shallow'' conversations, which all your socialization have been about so far? 

this for sure

[Snader]

11 minutes ago, levani said:

40 minutes ago, Snader said:

burned all the material karma

what ?

You mentioned in one of your previous posts that there are still something Stage Orange things for you to experience. So even if your higher self knows that Stage Orange materialism won't bring you the ultimate happiness, your lower self don't accept that and it will fight for you to experience that stuff. That stuff might operate in your psyche to create those backlashes, so working those out might also be a game changer.

 

11 minutes ago, levani said:

40 minutes ago, Snader said:

push hard to understanding your own personality

advise on this ?

I find meditation to be a stone-pillar to learning to become aware of one's sincere emotions, which helps one to get to understand himself better. Spending time in nature alone breathing deep and listening to the wild life worked for me really well. Then there are of course books, courses and even personality tests that might come in handy. There are experts such as therapists and coaches (more conventional and more spiritual) who can help you. When you get that wheel rolling you will find solutions and next steps.

 

27 minutes ago, levani said:

56 minutes ago, Snader said:

You need to start seeing its healthy agenda in your life

how ?

By learning psychology, especially your own. Reading books about emotions and human behavior. Understanding more nuances of human development models such as Spiral Dynamics and Cook-Greuter's model (which Actualized.org has shot videos on) help great deal understanding own behavior and motives and also in making right decisions to make life better.

 

33 minutes ago, levani said:

1 hour ago, Snader said:

Or maybe it's your higher self that wants to keep you away from ''shallow'' relationships and ''shallow'' conversations, which all your socialization have been about so far? 

this for sure

Understanding human development combined with self-understanding and awareness is a killer with this! It helps you to as an example connect and socialize when you become too close to a backlash, but also to withdraw when the toxicity is making you puke, and all that with a straight back with no hard feelings, with understanding of what's needed for balance.

[meow_meow]

Ahahah, I really did read trough your topic and every single comment and I can relate to you 99% if not 100%.

I'm facing Exactly the same issue as you do. I work from home, have no family and maybe a few people I talk with occasionally, so I spend most of my time alone and also been wondering if this is ok for my psyche. And when I ask or help or hunt for forum topics about this issue the answers seem so damn complicated that I just can't understand them.

On 3/15/2021 at 6:17 PM, levani said:

what ?

Exactly like this 

On 3/14/2021 at 4:38 AM, levani said:

well i don't have a pussy so let's start there.

 Anyways, I hope you do find yourself a GF or bros to share bromance with, atleast thats what I'm doing, because IMO meditation or self-inquiry or just letting go just won't cut it, you gotta work on those things bro. Good luck.

[Wyeth]

I feel you so much bro. I can't really offer any advice but just want you to know I am going through the same thing. Although Covid has been a blessing for me in the sense that it gave me the space to make rapid progressions in my consciousness, the loneliness is beginning to get at me. I literally just said to myself yesterday that the only two things I care about are pussy and consciousness. I don't have the first one. 

Edited March 20, 2021 by Wyeth

[Arcangelo]

Here is the deal: We come to this life to suffer.

Deal with it!

Sorry if it sounds harsh.

 

 

Arc

[Peter Miklis]

@Arcangelo how nihilistic of you

[meow_meow]

On 2021.03.20. at 5:45 AM, Arcangelo said:

Here is the deal: We come to this life to suffer.

Deal with it!

Sorry if it sounds harsh.

 

 

Arc

Haha, we could answer any question/provide a solutoin to any problem with simply saying :  "We come to this life to suffer"
But does it actually help in any way? not likely.

[levani]

@meow_meow exactly, it's such a copy & paste sort of answer

 

true but very copy & paste, and i don't think maybe he/she knows what it means

 

nonetheless thank you for even answering.

 

[Arcangelo]

On 3/21/2021 at 11:38 AM, meow_meow said:

Haha, we could answer any question/provide a solutoin to any problem with simply saying :  "We come to this life to suffer"
But does it actually help in any way? not likely.

Today I got some hypoglycemia and I remembered my own words. I paid the prize.

[meow_meow]

This vid really goes deep into this topic. If you don't want to listen trough the ~1h30min then it all boils down to:

1. Are you boored or lonely?
2. Do you feel lonely when you're not boored?

& Life purpose.

But I suggest you go trough the vid, very helpfull.