Why do some males need to prove themselves so much?

[Espaim]

In my workplace, men within my family and male friends, I feel like most of the males try to prove themselves as males. I reached this conclusion from this behavior:

• Their own capability of attracting women, with subsequent:
  • Trying to beat one another in who scored more women;
• Dick measurements(who has the biggest dick);
• Rejecting anything that may be recognized as gay or feminine habits as in:
  • Dancing;
  • Some types of music;
  • Art;
  • Socializing quirks;
    • Showing emotions;
    • Crying;
  • Areas of knowledge (humanities);
• Sharing porn / sexual images of women;
• (from my pov)Being needlessly rude, aggressive with other males, or ruthless;
  • On the other hand, being such sweethearts with women. Their behavior instantly changes if a female comes around;
• And some others I don't remember right now

Why do they do this? I haven't been able to answer this myself.

Coincidentally or not, I cannot accuse my SD Green friends of doing this. Not a single one.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Espaim

[soos_mite_ah]

Even though I'm a woman, I noticed that too. These are my thoughts and observations. Obviously because of my lack of experience in that position, there is only so much as I can say.

The patriarchy puts men against each other because in a certain way they see men as disposable and needing to prove their worth. The patriarchy also sees women as disposable but with both genders their worth is determined by materialistic signifiers of worth based on different gender roles. Men do a lot of things just to impress other men more so than to impress women. There is also stuff in regards to unhealthy masculinity that was praised in earlier times because of survival mechanisms back in the day (but some of it trickles into present day) like brute force, control, harsh self discipline, material success etc. A lot of it is very stage red,blue, and orange. I remember watching a video that talks about men having issues coming up with an archetype that is past all that because historically there hasnt been an archetype that integrates the feminine to create a healthy sense of masculinity. 

None of my stage green or orange/green guy friends participate in on those behaviors tbh. They either outgrew that phase when they were younger or they see that type of behavior as below them. They also tend to describe themselves as more connected to their feminine side instead of being traditionally masculine. That's cool and all but note, this seen more of a deviation of masculinity rather it's own trope or archetype of masculinity because it isnt as prevalent in society. By that I dont mean that you dont find men like that, but I mean that when you watch movies, go on the internet etc, that representation isnt there. 

I also think there is something to be said about the competitive and hierarchical nature of stage red, blue, and orange which is what people usually think of in the term "traditionally masculine." Its at odds with a lot of green values such as cooperation and flattening hierarchies. So even if a stage green guy has a healthy masculinity rooted in confidence because he doesnt feel the need to compete, to men stuck in the previous stages, he is seen as a beta. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Preety_India]

Toxic Masculinity and Chimpery. 

The race to be the alpha male to defeat another male. 

It's also lack of feminine integration and too much focus on the masculine. 

And masculine survival agenda gone overboard because of years of men fighting for survival throughout evolution leading to concentration of the psyche towards survival alone and not leaving any room for spiritual /emotional /feminine development. 

Eventually this hyper masculine survival psyche hurts all males. 

 

[hoodrow trillson]

Not enough healthy, balanced love from mommy and daddy.

[zeroISinfinity]

What would we do in life. Watch animes?

Edited March 13, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[Parththakkar12]

@Espaim It's immaturity. That's the long and short of it. A real man doesn't have to prove himself, he is self-confident. It's a lack of self-confidence that's making them chase external validation.

This was about proving yourself, that's immature. However, there is a more natural drive in men to pursue social status. That's with the more serious things, like being rich, having a nice car, having a 'trophy wife', etc. This social-status thing has more to do with being attractive to women and procreating, so to speak.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[zeroISinfinity]

57 minutes ago, Espaim said:

In my workplace, men within my family and male friends, I feel like most of the males try to prove themselves as males. I reached this conclusion from this behavior:

• Their own capability of attracting women, with subsequent:
  • Trying to beat one another in who scored more women;
• Dick measurements(who has the biggest dick);
• Rejecting anything that may be recognized as gay or feminine habits as in:
  • Dancing;
  • Some types of music;
  • Art;
  • Socializing quirks;
    • Showing emotions;
    • Crying;
  • Areas of knowledge (humanities);
• Sharing porn / sexual images of women;
• (from my pov)Being needlessly rude, aggressive with other males, or ruthless;
  • On the other hand, being such sweethearts with women. Their behavior instantly changes if a female comes around;
• And some others I don't remember right now

Why do they do this? I haven't been able to answer this myself.

Coincidentally or not, I cannot accuse my SD Green friends of doing this. Not a single one.

I don't know but you just described average teen. I mean like it's not really worthy of commenting. 

Those guy rarely had women at all if any?! 

Edited March 13, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[zeroISinfinity]

Ruthless boy is coming back to finally be normal. Oh yes. Time to stretch my neck a bit. 

To not end up like this at end of the road. Cry me a river thing. Way of hiding incompetence, I guess it is that. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[Gesundheit]

I was once like that. The need for appearing masculine is a social need being met unconsciously (truly masculine do not care what others think of them). Society places expectations on males to be strong, but most men aren't conscious enough to meet those expectations correctly. So, they suppress their feminine side and demonize it, which then turns into a shadow, which manifests exactly as described by OP.

I learned this from Emerald.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Gesundheit

[zeroISinfinity]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

The need for appearing masculine is a social need being met unconsciously. Society places expectations on males to be strong, but most men aren't conscious enough to meet those expectations correctly. So, they suppress their feminine side and demonize it, which then turns into a shadow, which is exactly what was described by OP.

Actually I am reading this and laughing my ass off. What da... 

[Espaim]

30 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

This was about proving yourself, that's immature

You got me here lol. I noticed I was trying to prove myself as more evolved by pointing out others flaws but posted it anyway because I'm curious

Why won't people let me be a zen devil in peace...

Edited March 13, 2021 by Espaim

[Gesundheit]

@zeroISinfinity That's because you don't realize that your perception is not absolute truth.

[zeroISinfinity]

2 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

@zeroISinfinity That's because you don't realize that your perception is not absolute truth.

Hahahahahahahahaha. Please... Hahahahahahahahaha 

Reading this threads in following days and actually I am quite shocked at my own level of transcendence of human condition. 

Keeping myself away from spiritual crap too no worries. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[zeroISinfinity]

@Gesundheit How childish this will all look to you, you have no idea. 

Entire talk about every segment of human life. 

[Parththakkar12]

20 minutes ago, Espaim said:

You got me here lol. I noticed I was trying to prove myself as more evolved by pointing out others flaws but posted it anyway because I'm curious

Why won't people let me be a zen devil in peace...

Lol I wasn't calling you out or something, although more power to you if you got something out of it. What I was referring to was my own previous paragraph, that it was about the immaturity of 'trying to prove yourself' vs chasing social status.

[Espaim]

@Parththakkar12 that's some sneaky shit 

I like all your replies. Keep them coming

Edited March 13, 2021 by Espaim

[Lyubov]

It's a form of self expression. I think there are heathy and unhealthy ways to do this. To a certain degree it is necessary and a valid desire when really in your masculine and wanting to leave your mark on the world so to speak. Even animals do it lol. Ever heard of peacocks? 

Edited March 13, 2021 by Lyubov