Why do some people feel empty?

[tatsumaru]

Over the years I've met and dated a couple of girls who told me that they felt empty inside. A feeling that they felt either most of the time or some of the time. Even though I've had personal experience with depression I was never able to relate to the particular feeling of emptiness and never knew what to say when a person would share something like that with me. Some of those girls would hurt themselves "just to feel alive". On a side-note I've also heard about people on anti-depressants who claimed that it made them like zombies and they couldn't feel anything anymore. Not sure if that's the same kind of emptiness though. Regardless I always thought to myself that if they are hurting about whatever is happening then by definition it isn't emptiness/nothingness and probably something closer to meaninglessness and depression or an awareness of not being able to derive much joy out of life. Does anybody have experience with this type of feeling of emptiness and any understanding of what causes it and how to address it? Is it a lack of purpose in life or a physiological issue or some sort of self-hate? I'd like to learn more about it. Thanks.

[Mallakh Yah]

Hey,
So, usually in psychiatry is seen as a subjective experience with no specific cause.
And it's half-truth, but as wise jews said: "half truth are worst than lies".

Psychiatry is starting to take into consideration some philosophical inquiries, like the subjective world, structuring of the self, how it affects certain psychological pathologies, like personality disorders, and so on.

Identity Disturbance, Feelings of Emptiness, and the Boundaries of the Schizophrenia Spectrum
Schizophrenia Bulletin, Volume 45, Issue 1, January 2019, Pages 106–113, https://doi.org/10.1093/schbul/sbx183

Like this one shows, taking into admission some psychodinamic views (in 2018).

But, psychoanalysis is known for treating hardcore personality disorders, like NPD (Narcissistic P.D.), Schizoid P.D., Paranoid P.D., Histrionic P.D., Avoidant P.D. and so on.

So, the view on emptiness for psychoanalysis is usually a lack (in some cases it's the lack of the lack), that creates this whole hole, pun intended.
It's something that did not entered the symbolical world of the individual, circling around life, always present, touching a feeling, a possible relationship, something always in relation to the Other (in a symbolical view, representing any person who the individual has what is called transference, which is something related to Rapport in cognitive-therapy, but better. 

This lack is not elaborated, it's not symbolized in words, it's not articulated by the individual, he cannot articulate that lack with some defense mechanism (there is a bunch), like sublimation, which is transforming some kind of negative aspect of yourself in something in the opposite direction (in short), like painting, writing, or becoming a priest because you have pedophilic desires (reaction formation).

This lack is caused by traumas (even if lived only by the individual, in fantasy), that are made before thought and the formation of a healthy structured psych to deal with the world.

Some patients during psychotherapy (psychodinamic therapy, mostly psychoanalysis), can return to that feeling, to that sensation, to that memory, in session, by reliving it, it comes with a lot of pain, a lot of unnamed unwanted undesired against life feelings.
But, in midst of all this chaos, maybe, the individual can use this energy to transcend, to go beyond words, go beyond all the formation of the psych, and heal that wound with selflove and compassion (all possible dued to the psychoanalyst handling that feeling in front of the patient, not succumbing together or trying to deny. 

Primary Narcissism, the Double, and Otherness Johann Jung Dans Recherches en psychanalyse 2015/1 (n° 19), pages 77a à 86a

https://www.cairn.info/revue-recherches-en-psychanalyse-2015-1-page-77a.htm

This one explains some short insights about this development phase.

This kind of trauma is considered by many psychoanalysts as uncurable, you can treat some symptoms, but it's something that only in the spiritual basis we can deal with it (even if there is no religion involved, i'm talking spirituality in the sense of losing oneself to become the whole, and obtain experiences beyond words, and maybe something click someday).

But, there is a few that believe there is, by a full disclosure, revelation, and this individual can heal this emptiness, which is only a symptom in a chain of events.

So, in some cases, is that spark of soul, frozen so many years ago, in childhood, against a full formed automaton (the false self which had to be formed to deal with the traumas, the anguish), in other cases, there is no childhood, it's full automaton, full defense against the other (serial killer cases).

And again, for someone else is something more "lighter", more easy to deal with, 
It all depends on the subjective world.

This discussion can go on and on, and this is only one perspective in one night, so any argument is welcome.
But for you to know what emptiness means for those friends of yours...
You would have to ask them.
And handle the feelings that come together !
Love does that, 
And it heals.
Really do, in the most severe cases it's the only thing that makes the difference.

It's my first day on this forum, hope it helps with some insights.

Cheers.

*I don't practice a lot of writing in english, so i will welcome any feedback.

Edited March 14, 2021 by Mallakh Yah

[ilja]

if they feel empty inside, they probably mean cold or unsatisfied that might be because they surpressed an obvious part of themselves or are on psychiatric drugs.

i think hollow describes it better.

Edited March 21, 2021 by ilja

[EnlightenmentBlog]

Because others stuff themselves all the time with whatever they can find to escape feeling empty. 

On 13.03.2021 г. at 6:30 PM, tatsumaru said:

Regardless I always thought to myself that if they are hurting about whatever is happening then by definition it isn't emptiness/nothingness and probably something closer to meaninglessness and depression or an awareness of not being able to derive much joy out of life.

True. It's the negative interpretation of emptiness that creates the problem. There's an assumption that feeling empty is somewhat bad or undesirable. But it's the best thing you could ever experience. That's enlightenment right there.

[Hen Zuhe]

Generally is Emptyness of LOVE.

Love to my self.

Love to my life.

Love to my family.

Love to my world.

Love to the nature.

Love to my frends.

Love to breath.

Love to live.

 

LOVE will cure this emptyness.

 

 

HOW CAN WE  GET LOVE?

 

- Deep breathing exercises,

- Contact with nature ambient.

- Hear relaxing music.

- Hear some mantras.

- Practice Guided Meditation.

- Learn to be compassive person.

- Learn to be humble person.

 

In differents times we could do it, and depending of our lifestyle, and rutine. 

We increase our love and eradicate the emptyness inside us.

NAMASTE

 

 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Why do some people feel empty? 
In short, It coincides with the development of ego structures which alienates one’s own experience from the essential aspects of Being. This happens to everyone to some extent although there are many who successfully defend against the experience of it 
Although just a rogue student of  the Ridhwan School, their explanation about this was one of the contributing factors for me digging deeper into their Teaching.    

Genesis of Deficient Emptiness

We propose the following hypothesis ......:
* At birth the human infant has no sense of self.
* He is Being. He is his being without knowledge or self-consciousness. There is no mental functioning yet.
* Slowly, through experiences of pleasure and pain, memory traces are retained, forming the first self-impressions (self-representations).
* As the infant starts taking himself to be this or that (this or that self-image) he separates from his sense of Being, because any image is not his being.
* As the ego-identity and sense of self develop and become stable, the contact with Being in its various aspects and qualities is mostly lost. The extent of the loss also depends on the adequacy of the environment and the infant’s relation to it.
* The process of loss of contact with Being leaves a sense of deficiency, a state of deficient emptiness, as if the Being is left with many holes in it. The deficient emptiness is the state of the absence of contact with or awareness of Being.
* Space, which is the open dimension of Being, is lost in the formation of the self-image. This self-image includes the unconscious body-image of having a genital hole.
* For the normal individual, the development of the personality happens relatively smoothly. The self is highly integrated and stays stable throughout most of one’s life.
* In those with mental disorders, for reasons already known in depth psychology, the development of the personality and its sense of self is incomplete, or happens with various distortions, malformations, or inadequacies.

The Void, pg. 127

I thought that this explanation dovetails well with many of the replies given by other actualized members,,,,

There are roughly eight more excerpts about deficient emptiness to be found at the link below.

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/deficient-emptiness

[tatsumaru]

6 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

Why do some people feel empty? 
In short, It coincides with the development of ego structures which alienates one’s own experience from the essential aspects of Being. This happens to everyone to some extent although there are many who successfully defend against the experience of it 
Although just a rogue student of  the Ridhwan School, their explanation about this was one of the contributing factors for me digging deeper into their Teaching.    

Genesis of Deficient Emptiness

We propose the following hypothesis ......:
* At birth the human infant has no sense of self.
* He is Being. He is his being without knowledge or self-consciousness. There is no mental functioning yet.
* Slowly, through experiences of pleasure and pain, memory traces are retained, forming the first self-impressions (self-representations).
* As the infant starts taking himself to be this or that (this or that self-image) he separates from his sense of Being, because any image is not his being.
* As the ego-identity and sense of self develop and become stable, the contact with Being in its various aspects and qualities is mostly lost. The extent of the loss also depends on the adequacy of the environment and the infant’s relation to it.
* The process of loss of contact with Being leaves a sense of deficiency, a state of deficient emptiness, as if the Being is left with many holes in it. The deficient emptiness is the state of the absence of contact with or awareness of Being.
* Space, which is the open dimension of Being, is lost in the formation of the self-image. This self-image includes the unconscious body-image of having a genital hole.
* For the normal individual, the development of the personality happens relatively smoothly. The self is highly integrated and stays stable throughout most of one’s life.
* In those with mental disorders, for reasons already known in depth psychology, the development of the personality and its sense of self is incomplete, or happens with various distortions, malformations, or inadequacies.

The Void, pg. 127

I thought that this explanation dovetails well with many of the replies given by other actualized members,,,,

There are roughly eight more excerpts about deficient emptiness to be found at the link below.

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/deficient-emptiness

Quite interesting indeed.

[Nobody_Here]

On 3/13/2021 at 10:30 AM, tatsumaru said:

Over the years I've met and dated a couple of girls who told me that they felt empty inside. A feeling that they felt either most of the time or some of the time. Even though I've had personal experience with depression I was never able to relate to the particular feeling of emptiness and never knew what to say when a person would share something like that with me. Some of those girls would hurt themselves "just to feel alive". On a side-note I've also heard about people on anti-depressants who claimed that it made them like zombies and they couldn't feel anything anymore. Not sure if that's the same kind of emptiness though. Regardless I always thought to myself that if they are hurting about whatever is happening then by definition it isn't emptiness/nothingness and probably something closer to meaninglessness and depression or an awareness of not being able to derive much joy out of life. Does anybody have experience with this type of feeling of emptiness and any understanding of what causes it and how to address it? Is it a lack of purpose in life or a physiological issue or some sort of self-hate? I'd like to learn more about it. Thanks.

There are many reasons people may feel empty, but what you are describing sounds like borderline personality disorder. 

From the link above:

Quote

• Self-harming behavior, such as cutting
• Recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats
• Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
• Chronic feelings of emptiness

 

[Nahm]

On 3/13/2021 at 11:30 AM, tatsumaru said:

Over the years I've met and dated a couple of girls who told me that they felt empty inside. A feeling that they felt either most of the time or some of the time. Even though I've had personal experience with depression I was never able to relate to the particular feeling of emptiness and never knew what to say when a person would share something like that with me. Some of those girls would hurt themselves "just to feel alive". On a side-note I've also heard about people on anti-depressants who claimed that it made them like zombies and they couldn't feel anything anymore. Not sure if that's the same kind of emptiness though. Regardless I always thought to myself that if they are hurting about whatever is happening then by definition it isn't emptiness/nothingness and probably something closer to meaninglessness and depression or an awareness of not being able to derive much joy out of life. Does anybody have experience with this type of feeling of emptiness and any understanding of what causes it and how to address it? Is it a lack of purpose in life or a physiological issue or some sort of self-hate? I'd like to learn more about it. Thanks.

In short it is believing thoughts (namely about oneself) which don’t resonate because the thoughts aren’t indicative of the true nature. This video is basically an offering of a way to understand this, align instead one thought at a time, and feel the fullness of being. If there is a key insight to this transition, imo, it is that it is effortless, letting go of identifying with thought (typically specifically of the past) rather than work to be done, or a mountain to climb. When someone is feeling such discord, from that vibration, a picture tends to be painted of ‘it would take so much work’. When the mind is overly focused on one thought, as one side of a duality... it struggles to recognize the power in letting something (a thought of identity) go.