I am lost at what I am supposed to do with my life

[Valach]

Hi there,

I am turning to you guys with a need for an advice as I have no idead how I want to progress in my career at the moment. When I finished high school I enrolled into university to study Computer Science. I found studies quite hard, but I am not sure if I found the subject of my studies rather boring or I was just too unfocused to really thrive in it. I do recall,  that at times when I really got into it I would find quite some pleasure in it.

However I didnt really succeed since I hate to drop out after 1,5 years due to bad grades. After that I started working as software developer which I have been doing for 1,5 years now. However I have to point out that the job itself is not that great, pay wise and mainly that I didnt have much thing s to lears. My first year I spent only configurating the web app in their weird frame work which didn't extend my skills what so ever. 2 monts ago I finally after my pressure got switched to another project, which is a web app build in python + django, but I find it really hard to get into since we lack any documantation and senior developers ( + covid so I cant even get to office). 

Since I started doing pickup last year I realized that the problem in my life is that I just that have this life energy, life passion in my life. I miss out on something to take me out of the bed in the morning. I did sign up for university again today, but I am still unsure wheter I should enroll and study again. It would give me financial possibilities (to maybe be free to pursue other things) granted I would be able to finish it, however I am just still unsure I want to really pursue this and also if I would be able to actually make it work ( combining studies + part time work ). At the age of 24 I feel like I should really realize what I want to do with my life and to have direction of where I am heading with my life as well. However I never really tried anything besides IT stuff. My mother kinda led me this path since childhood, since she is a programmer as well and I never really worked any other field ( except part time jobs in highs school at restaurants etc.).

Have any of you been in this situation? How did you decide? And what do u think I should do?

 

Thank you in advance guys :}

[JonasVE12]

I've been in the same situation as well. I can relate. Over the past years I've started 4 different collega degrees and always dropped out. I had different jobs as well before going to college. I always quit those jobs because they were too exhausting to do. I didn't have passion for these. The thing is... You are aware and by posting this question, you are already on your way to realizing what you want to do. Life is about finding your authentic life purpose and embodying your highest values. At age 24, you are still young. Some people live their whole life not realizing their full potential. Not even 5% because they aren't even aware that they could do better. You are half way there. 

Leo's life purpose course sounds like a good investment for you. It comes down to contemplation. I think most of us know what we want to do deep down but distract ourselves because of internal blocks. Self limiting beliefs and fear. If you contemplate on this; deep down, are there specific things you desire to do? What would your perfect life look like in your imagination? Also, this passion and life purpose thing does not come overnight. For many people, it's a slow proces that requires years of deconditioning, experimentation, contemplation and frustration. 

Also don't fear closing a chapter that does not serve you anymore. If you don't like CS stuff, then accept that and don't be too identified to it because you've invested so much time in it. You'll waste much more time by holding on to things that you hate doing.

I could recommend taking some weeks off and taking the time to relax, get away from your normal day-to-day thinking routine. Hava a vacation maybe if you can. A nice place with the sun shining bright. Creativity and insights arise in moments your mind is more fluid and not stuck in regular day to day thinking. Maybe you'll come back with a new outlook. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by JonasVE12

[Yahya]

@Valach I would recommend you to complete the Life Purpose course from @Leo Gura. Since, you work at university for computer science then their must be co-op option available. Also you may do part time job which give you income. So I would recommend to fund the Life Purpose course with the money you get from your co-op or part time job.