Healing family wounds

[Lyubov]

I feel anxious and emotionally blocked when around my parents. I don't feel as open around them cause I feel afraid of being judged and vulnerable due to all the quarrels and family issues and fighting from the past. I feel afraid to cry around them and don't really like to be too emotionally open with them. Has anyone been able to make progress at improving relationships with their parents?  

[Preety_India]

Me personally. Not at all. I suck at it. 

And I leave it be. Because frankly who got the time? 

Imo, it's the parents who need to grow up and actually act like parents. 

 

I mean some parents act like they need diapers. 

 

[Recress]

This has been me on the last 3 months. I went home because of holidays and I thought it will be a goody doody if I stayed longer, it turned out otherwise... I was so vibrant before going home, told myself I should be open with my mom and have an honest conversation and such, while I did have some honest conversation on initial weeks, I felt that I got judged telling her about my plans in the next few years and decided to stay single until I met someone that I really connect to. She just react "You'll not get married?!" with some expression in her eyes. To kinda avoid the topic I swayed her that I will focus on my business ideas instead to travel in a couple of years. I saw her eyes expression like a child and was like.. My parents are so like children playing a house. When will they grow up? At the end of the day I left it at that because I cannot control them, I let them experience what they need to. Although that kinda affected my peace of mind the longer I stayed there, I'm glad I'm back now to my own peace, to have my own serenity.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Recress

[lmfao]

@Lyubov Yes, I have a whole host of family shit. Of course shit with parents. But I just recently had to play mediator between quarrelling siblings in a very intense argument.

Here's a link to what I wrote, in case it makes for an entertaining or relatable read. I didn't go into lots of detail about how explosive it was because its hard to quickly communicate everything. 

There's the "fight or flight" response. In trying to get myself to not do "flight" and face my problems (e.g. talk to my parents about a thing Im scared to talk about), I enter "freeze", and its mental hell until I break free in that moment.

I've done so much flight in my life that my instinct and gut will keep sending signals that I have to do the "brave" thing, even though my deep and stubborn habits keep shouting flee. But this is my work, life can be very tough 

Edited March 15, 2021 by lmfao