Addiction subsides, I didn’t lose my personality.

[JessicaKatherine]

A long while ago I posted about how I kept circulating back to my marijuana addiction and drinking. It was whip lash. 

From the moment I affirmed that I was done smoking to the time I actually quit, it took four years. I kept giving myself permission to circle back and then got lost in the sauce. I’m finally free of cravings, consistency with pot and alcohol, and neediness. I feel well. I feel stable, no highs or lows. 
I’m not not replacing cravings with drinking problems anymore. Even the drinking cravings have washed away. I’m not thinking about it and I am not hurting when I see or itching when I hear triggers. 

I just want to testify that it’s possible to be “normal”. Also I’m not solid at giving advice on how to quit, I would sound like toxic positivity and say “awakening, healing, and self love and understanding.” Maybe I got blessed, maybe my body chemistry was right and the awareness was applied at just the right angle but, the suffering  was very real, the low self esteem was very real, and the cling was very real for me and the healing has taken its place.
 

It’s not that it went away and then I healed. It’s that I took the long road through healing and it started to fall away organically with the right intentions and the healing continued to gain real depth even after. 

It has been months now and I didn’t want to post about it too quickly, I’ve been on a journey inward in the mean time and didn’t know what I was going to say about it.  I know it’s finished because I can feel that not only is it gone, but I don’t want it. Nothing about me feels like I am interested in forming a habit.  

I’ve gained new purposes and a much better personally. People seem to be attracted to me where as before I felt like it was hard to be genuine if the interactions went on for too long because I was hiding myself or not being True to myself or the fact that I suffered low self esteem and couldn’t navigate my conversations or bond appropriately with others.

I gained more personality and self worth than I had. I have a great sense of community and I am sharpening my skills and assets in all new ways. The sun is brighter. 

There’s hope. 

[Yahya]

3 hours ago, JessicaKatherine said:

A long while ago I posted about how I kept circulating back to my marijuana addiction and drinking. It was whip lash. 

From the moment I affirmed that I was done smoking to the time I actually quit, it took four years. I kept giving myself permission to circle back and then got lost in the sauce. I’m finally free of cravings, consistency with pot and alcohol, and neediness. I feel well. I feel stable, no highs or lows. 
I’m not not replacing cravings with drinking problems anymore. Even the drinking cravings have washed away. I’m not thinking about it and I am not hurting when I see or itching when I hear triggers. 

I just want to testify that it’s possible to be “normal”. Also I’m not solid at giving advice on how to quit, I would sound like toxic positivity and say “awakening, healing, and self love and understanding.” Maybe I got blessed, maybe my body chemistry was right and the awareness was applied at just the right angle but, the suffering  was very real, the low self esteem was very real, and the cling was very real for me and the healing has taken its place.
 

It’s not that it went away and then I healed. It’s that I took the long road through healing and it started to fall away organically with the right intentions and the healing continued to gain real depth even after. 

It has been months now and I didn’t want to post about it too quickly, I’ve been on a journey inward in the mean time and didn’t know what I was going to say about it.  I know it’s finished because I can feel that not only is it gone, but I don’t want it. Nothing about me feels like I am interested in forming a habit.  

I’ve gained new purposes and a much better personally. People seem to be attracted to me where as before I felt like it was hard to be genuine if the interactions went on for too long because I was hiding myself or not being True to myself or the fact that I suffered low self esteem and couldn’t navigate my conversations or bond appropriately with others.

I gained more personality and self worth than I had. I have a great sense of community and I am sharpening my skills and assets in all new ways. The sun is brighter. 

There’s hope. 

@JessicaKatherine Congrats!

[Jordan A]

Congratulations! that's  great to hear. I find it very helpful to hear about how people overcome addictions.

13 hours ago, JessicaKatherine said:

It’s not that it went away and then I healed. It’s that I took the long road through healing and it started to fall away organically with the right intentions and the healing continued to gain real depth even after. 
 

that's interesting that you didn't go away to focus on the healing, but it came over a long period of time. I am actually struggling with smoking pot. I've been using marijuana since I was 15 and I can tell that it gets in the way of my motivation but I don't feel I am ready to give it up, so anyways, I dont really have a question... I'm just thinking that I am happy that you were able to overcome that obstacle and thanks for sharing!

[neovox]

Congrats!!!  Life truly is so much better sober. You're yourself again!. Feels damn good doesn't it!?.  Engage the world as yourself and spread those good vibes. Love and very best wishes