GAME B Dating

[RendHeaven]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Now she is still not sexually attracted to him. But they decide to have sex

This doesn't seem realistic or authentic.

Would you yourself actually do this? Spread your legs for a guy that you have zero sexual attraction towards?

Easier said than done, I'd imagine.

I admire your vision but it just sounds like buddy-buddy platonic friendship with a little bit of sex forced on top just to justify the "intimacy."

The reason I smelled survival on your proposition at all, actually, is by the very fact that you said:

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

not your regular club hookup/rsd /pua/regular physical attraction. 

By explicitly rejecting raw physical attraction, you have an agenda.

Are Game B and Game A mutually exclusive? Or are they 2 parts of the same whole?

16 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I think sexuality, attraction, emotionality, relationship, connection is not a one stop destination but a constant fluid state of flux or flow. 

Today I might be heterosexual. Tomorrow I might be bisexual. 

Today I might like tall guys. Tomorrow I might like short guys. 

Ah...

So attraction does matter.

[Preety_India]

@integral  hey thank you so much. I didn't know those videos even existed. 

Thank you for adding to this thread. 

If you have more Resources, then I would be very very glad if you shared them on this thread. 

Very little information is available on this subject.. 

So i would really appreciate. 

 

 

[RendHeaven]

I'm personally conflicted by the paradox between conditional love (i.e. attraction) and unconditional love (i.e. ???)

Can we unconditionally love someone that we have attraction towards? I don't think so. Our attraction corrupts our agenda.

Can we unconditionally love someone, then, that we DON'T have attraction towards? I don't think so. Our lack of attraction means we will reserve certain aspects of ourselves from that person (i.e. no sex).

And yet, unconditional love exists.

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

Ah...

So attraction does matter.

But it's not conventional. The point is that it can be anything. Also situations where the attraction is not quite strong but the couple is happy for many different reasons. 

For example I don't find my current boyfriend very attractive. I'm not attracted to him. 

But I like the fact that we both meditate and learn together. It keeps us bonded our shared goals of spirituality. 

 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

And yet, unconditional love exists.

Yes I believe this. 

 

[Peter Miklis]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

But it's not conventional. The point is that it can be anything. Also situations where the attraction is not quite strong but the couple is happy for many different reasons. 

For example I don't find my current boyfriend very attractive. I'm not attracted to him. 

But I like the fact that we both meditate and learn together. It keeps us bonded our shared goals of spirituality. 

 

Personally, I couldn't imagine being in type B relationship, I am quite stage orange minded and probably will remain so for the rest of my life (maybe I'll transcend to green, who knows). It's a little pessimistic prediction, but probably not far from truth.

If my relationship wasn't sexual, it probably wouldn't last. It's gonna take humanity a long time before it morphs into this kind of relationship system.

Edited March 9, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[RendHeaven]

1 minute ago, Peter Miklis said:

Personally, I couldn't imagine being in type B relationship, I am quite stage orange minded and probably will remain so for the rest of my life (maybe I'll transcend to green, who knows). It's a little pessimistic prediction, but probably not far from truth.

You'll get to yellow one day, I know it

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

Personally, I couldn't imagine being in type B relationship, I am quite stage orange minded and probably will remain so for the rest of my life (maybe I'll transcend to green, who knows). It's a little pessimistic prediction, but probably not far from truth.

If my relationship wasn't sexual, it probably wouldn't last.

Yep absolutely. 

That's why I used the term unconventional. 

 

[Peter Miklis]

1 minute ago, RendHeaven said:

You'll get to yellow one day, I know it

I mean I am stage yellow in my mind, but in my everyday actions I am stage orange.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Peter Miklis said:

I mean I am stage yellow in my mind, but in my everyday actions I am stage orange.

If you were already stage yellow, you wouldn't have a problem in processing Green.. 

People go to stage yellow only after successfully integrating and processing Green. 

Green is already fused and included in Yellow. 

Growth is not something you just bypass. 

 

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

If anyone starts are gender war here, I will kill you.

But Leo, why don't women just want a nice guy???

22 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

So it neither fulfills the man's survival agenda nor the woman's.. Because couples who are into these types ditch the whole survival thing and want a relationship exclusively for connection and intimacy outside of attraction, or simply partnership/companionship. 

Let's not make an enemy of survival or attraction. Intimacy/connection can have survival value. And no survival means you don't survive long enough to experience Game B dating.

The problem to me is not that people meet each other's survival needs, it's that we do so often unconsciously and in a way that ends up hurting the agenda of others and sometimes our own. In other words, moving from Win/Lose to Win/Win. Or ending zero-sum games as Teal Swan calls it.

This of course starts with people making a commitment to uncover their biases and their shadow. There's no Game B dating without consciousness, so that should be of highest priority for people interested in this.

From there, we see what emerges. Maybe polyamory, maybe monogamy, maybe something casual, who knows. A Game B perspective would allow for relationships to evolve, and not say "this is the one true relationship type". No, there could be many valid structures for different people at different times in their life.

All in all, it's a safe bet that Game B dating it will be based on greater unconditional love. But what exactly that looks like is hard to say.

I feel The intentional community Tamera has some interesting Green perspectives on dating:

They embrace polyamory, which I realize it's not what many people are looking for. But at least they are considering these questions.

 

More Green perspectives:

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, aurum said:

But Leo, why don't women just want a nice guy???

Let's not make an enemy of survival or attraction. Intimacy/connection can have survival value. And no survival means you don't survive long enough to experience Game B dating.

The problem to me is not that people meet each other's survival needs, it's that we do so often unconsciously and in a way that ends up hurting the agenda of others and sometimes our own. In other words, moving from Win/Lose to Win/Win. Or ending zero-sum games as Teal Swan calls it.

This of course starts with people making a commitment to uncover their biases and their shadow. There's no Game B dating without consciousness, so that should be of highest priority for people interested in this.

From there, we see what emerges. Maybe polyamory, maybe monogamy, maybe something casual, who knows. A Game B perspective would allow for relationships to evolve, and not say "this is the one true relationship type". No, there could be many valid structures for different people at different times in their life.

All in all, it's a safe bet that Game B dating it will be based on greater unconditional love. But what exactly that looks like is hard to say.

I feel The intentional community Tamera has some interesting Green perspectives on dating:

They embrace polyamory, which I realize it's not what many people are looking for. But at least they are considering these questions.

 

More Green perspectives:

 

I don't wish to make an enemy out of survival. 

Just stating that alternatives also exist and can be explored by those interested. 

 

[integral]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

He told me that he doesn't put a lot of emphasis on sex but emotional connection. You can call it whatever label you want, I simply choose to call it game B. You can call it Stage Green dating if Game B is not exact. The title doesn't matter. 

Me and my boyfriend rarely have sex but we enjoy each other's company to the max. He has a low sex drive. I do have a high sex drive but I control it because I love him 

Alot of good points where made, but i think this part needs to be addressed. The spiritual sex domain is amazing, do not settle for low quality sex

If he really values emotional connection then he values high quality sex. It needs to be made clear to him that what hes doing is a mistake and it does not match your needs. Set rules to have sex minimum once a week and make sure he knows exactly what you want in bed and that he needs to perform, no laziness. 

Growing into green relationships like you have is great, now time to explore all aspects of it, the spiritual sex domain in next, its alot of fun and will accelerate development.

Maybe make a separate thread about it, alot of people here are knowledgeable on the subject.  

Edited March 9, 2021 by integral

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, integral said:

Alot of good points where made, but i think this part needs to be addressed. The green sex domain is amazing, do not settle for low quality sex

If he really values emotional connection then he values high quality sex. It needs to be made clear to him that what hes doing is a mistake and it does not match your needs. Set rules to have sex minimum once a week and make sure he knows exactly what you want in bed and that he needs to perform, no laziness. 

Growing into green relationships like you have is great, now time to explore all aspects of it, the spiritual sex domain in next, its alot of fun and will accelerate development.

Maybe make a separate thread about it, alot of people here are knowledgeable on the subject.  

Yea will definitely look forward to tantra with him. 

 

[Jacob Morres]

Funny because you derailed my thread with your gender wars 

[Preety_India]

@Jacob Morres sorry no gender wars here.. 

And remember it always takes two people to be in an argument. It's unfair to put all the blame squarely on one person. 

Easy to blame me for everything I assume. 

 

[diamondpenguin]

Honestly, I think if the men would embrace their feminine side more, and women would embrace their masculine side more. Then the guys would be like " Yeah girl, I know how you feel." And the girls would be like" Yeah dude, that is pretty badass." But you won't see this much in people, we all just want things from the other gender. You know, girls want a big dick, and guys want that pussy. So that's life. 

[Willie]

Ok. So. Anyone care to agree or disagree when I say that containment as described in the other thread is Game A?

[Preety_India]

18 minutes ago, Willie said:

Ok. So. Anyone care to agree or disagree when I say that containment as described in the other thread is Game A?

Yep containment is an important factor. But I guess containment is important regardless of the nature of dating style or nature of relationships. 

 

[Willie]

Also, does Game B include and transcend Game A in the same way a stage yellow person includes and transcends stage green thinking, or is it an entirely separate thing?