Confession time - I like Bad Boys

[Preety_India]

@zeroISinfinity this is completely irrelevant to my topic..I don't need to know what you have to say. Don't preach me your advice. I told you a million times that  I don't need your advice. Save your precious advice for someone else.

 

[AdamR95]

"Nice guys" are in the most cases unconscioss manipulators. Their lack of confidence makes them to use even more toxic strategies then bad guys.

"Bad guys" are better choise because they have more confidence and are in average more honest and less toxic in relationship then "nice guys". But they are still mostly unconsciouss.

But there are guys who are above this two categories and they are confident and have respect for women at the same time. That is the best choise but hard to find.

[Preety_India]

@AdamR95 you are so right. 

 

[Javfly33]

Yeah nice guys don't even exist. They are still bad guys but playing the nice guy lol

[Preety_India]

@Javfly33 I think we really need a totally different term to define the genuinely nice guy. 

Because nearly 90% of the guys who approach me always use the term "nice guy" directly or indirectly. 

It has reached a point where the term "nice guy" has been thoroughly abused by  men who do pickup in unconscious and toxic ways. 

A lot of creepy guys who introduce themselves as nice guys. So it's tough to believe a genuinely nice guy. 

It kinda does a disservice to genuinely nice guys who lose their chances because nobody wants to believe them, much because of creepy guys who use the nice guy identity as a patsy. 

[Preety_India]

13 minutes ago, AdamR95 said:

"Nice guys" are in the most cases unconscioss manipulators

Yep totally. Creates a lot of confusion for women. 

 

[intotheblack]

Teal has a video for everything lol.  

[Preety_India]

@intotheblack haha Yea. 

 

[Peter Miklis]

@Preety_India isn't it pretty obvious though that "nice guys" are manipulators? I mean, all you have to do is type "niceguy" on youtube and hundreds of videos will appear with some dude reading nice guys creepy comments lol. It's not a rocket science to figure that out.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Peter Miklis said:

@Preety_India isn't it pretty obvious though that "nice guys" are manipulators? I mean, all you have to do is type "niceguy" on youtube and hundreds of videos will appear with some dude reading nice guys creepy comments lol. It's not a rocket science to figure that out.

You don't know a woman's experience. So be careful about how you make everything look easy. 

 

[Javfly33]

@Preety_India So for you authentic "nice guys" would be just men who are more selfless than the average? 

[Preety_India]

@Javfly33  I think genuinely nice guys are those who are genuine about their intentions. They won't lie. 

For example if a man tells a girl that he likes her, he genuinely likes her and not because he wants a quick lay. 

And the creepy nice guys tend to hide their intentions and say things that are not true. They don't necessarily want the girl, they only want her for gratification. 

 

[diamondpenguin]

On 3/9/2021 at 3:10 AM, Preety_India said:

I've a serious confession to make. 

And that is - I need to start liking bad boys. Start appreciating them. 

 

After a lot of contemplation I decided that I need to follow my heart and not my head. 

I had met a few bad boy types but I tended to reject them because how could I show them to my mom. 

I didn't want to let down anyone. 

I'm not attracted to nice guys. Because they are fakest fakest fake. 

I  find them phoney, flakey, fakey and pretentious. Liars. 

They always try to act like they really care but actually they don't. 

I had a bad boy as a friend, he had all this punk style, tattoos and he wasn't very educated but once when I was at my lowest point in my life, he was the one who gave me the greatest amount of support and care. He was the one who never left my side. 

My family called me depressed and didn't care about me, but he did. He did everything to make me feel supported and he would always be honest and truthful about everything in life.. I admired him. He genuinely cared.

But I always went for the nice guys because conventional society raised me to like good nice men.. However every time I got cheated, manipulated, it was always the nice guy. The nice guy who acted nice, only to find out later that he got lot of skeletons in his closet and when confronted about his skeletons, the same lies, manipulation and trickery. 

And whenever I was in trouble, the nice guy left me first. That's not love. He is a fair weather friend. Who wants that? 

True love sticks through thick and thin. In sickness and in health. Through good times and the bad times. 

You cannot give true love if you say one thing and mean another. So what's the point of this fake nice guy who acts good but actually doesn't love. 

Love is only love when it stands the test of time. Anyone can be nice during happy times.. The ones who truly care about you are the ones who stick by your side even when times are rough. That's true friends and true lovers. 

Not someone who abandons me immediately when he got better opportunities. That's a fake person. 

This takes me back to the bad guy who was my loyal friend and was always honest although society judged him for being a bad boy. 

I'm like - defy society. Defy norms. Defy parents. Don't care. Defy convention. Defy nice guys. 

I want to be authentic with my desires and instincts. Why should I repress what my heart really wants? I want a truthful person and not a sleazy piece of... vomit emoji. 

The nice guys were always highly educated, nice houses, big houses , the first guy I dated had the biggest house like a mansion , not that I'm attracted to big homes, just describing what he had. I even dated a homeless guy. 

But hey no thanks. I don't want his big house. Because I feel suffocated in his golden palace. It's a golden cage. He won't even give me a hug. I am only supposed to be his trophy girl or his girlfriend who takes his manipulative ways behind closed doors. The way Princess Diana was always expected to stay silent on Prince Charles's transgressions. That way??? 

Nope. I want to start liking bad boys. 

Because  home is where love is. 

Home is where the heart is.

As long as the heart is true, everything else will fall in place even those bad behaviors and bad habits. There is a cure for mental illness but no cure for a bad heart. 

Call me whatever. Call me stupid. 

 

@Preety_India that was a beautiful and heartfelt speech. I couldn't agree with you more on that life should be about following your heart's desires. Like, that's it. Follow your heart and it shall lead. Lol, I'm glad that we both share our love for kinky boys. ?

Edited March 12, 2021 by diamondpenguin

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, diamondpenguin said:

@Preety_India that was a beautiful and heartfelt speech. I couldn't agree with you more on that life should be about following your heart's desires. Like, that's it. Follow your heart and it shall lead. Lol, I'm glad that we both share our love for kinky boys. 

Winks. 

 

[diamondpenguin]

38 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Winks. 

 

Anything else?

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Just be careful though to not get lured by 'bad boys' who are genuinely bad and who will exploit some latent helper syndrome that you might not even be aware of... "Oh sure, I know he loses his temper sometimes and slaps me around... but that's only because he has never known real love, which only I can give him. I know that deep down inside he has a heart of gold!"

That's another trap that you could walk into, so... buyer beware!

[Preety_India]

@Bazooka Jesus that's a very valid point. 

[The0Self]

Hey, as long as they don't hit you, no big deal. There are a number of alpha males with low neediness AND high consciousness, which is what you're really after, but they're few and far between. Maybe you'll come across one in your daily life some day. Most of the "bad boys" are stage red, creeping into toxic blue. But some start out that way and go all the way up the spiral. Again, unicorns. They're often ex-drug addicts, as that's a common form of intense suffering that has its own heroes journey that can lead one to the spiral.

Edited March 15, 2021 by The0Self

[BornToBoil]

Aren't you guys just playing with definitions here? "Bad boys", "nice guys", you just use those words as labels while freely assigning whatever character traits you wish to them. You probably can find millions of definitions of what a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" is.

You use Trump as an example of a nice guy and it makes it really confusing because it's hard to find something "nice" about his personality. As you said yourself: he lies, cheats, treats people like shit, etc. How is that nice?

And then you say that "nice guys" are fakey, always lie to you, have skeletons in their closets, etc. Again, how are they nice after that?

Why not just call the things by their names?

Why not just say: "I want to find some honest, strong and confident guy who I can trust and who will support me emotionally "?

Or: "This guy is a total piece of shit liar who pretended to be nice to get close with me just to reveal his rotten personality afterwards"?

I mean sure, saying "I like Bad Boys" definitely sounds cooler, but is there any other reason to use those simplistic and confusing labels? People are complicated and it's wrong to categorize them like that imo. 

 

@Preety_India

Quote

when I was at my lowest point in my life, he was the one who gave me the greatest amount of support and care. He was the one who never left my side.

Isn't that what you wanted all along: now, six months ago, a year ago and just used different definitions to describe that? I can't find the exact post of yours (since you have so many of them), but I remember that not so long ago you were making a post about how you are tired of asshole-type guys and just happy with your current boyfriend who may not be very alpha but is kind, caring and trustworthy.

 

[zeroISinfinity]

8 hours ago, The0Self said:

Hey, as long as they don't hit you, no big deal. There are a number of alpha males with low neediness AND high consciousness, which is what you're really after, but they're few and far between. Maybe you'll come across one in your daily life some day. Most of the "bad boys" are stage red, creeping into toxic blue. But some start out that way and go all the way up the spiral. Again, unicorns. They're often ex-drug addicts, as that's a common form of intense suffering that has its own heroes journey that can lead one to the spiral.

Lol. 

Get me if you can. 

That guy looks for the very best too.