Why 'Assholes' Have a Better Chance with Women than 'Doormats'

[Loving Radiance]

On 9.3.2021 at 0:19 AM, aurum said:

You should have already been working on integrating your feminine, because your feminine is where things like intuition, creativity and compassion come from.

So, acting on intuition instead of disregarding it is being more in tune with your feminine? How would that look like?

[Emerald]

On 3/8/2021 at 7:28 PM, Etherial Cat said:

Very pertinent analogy .

I would add that "Assholes" probably seek out vulnerability in others as desire to reintegrate the vulnerability in themselves.

Hence probably a strong attraction towards women with low boundaries.

Very much so. People will always attract and be attracted to what is repressed in themselves. 

[Emerald]

On 3/8/2021 at 8:01 PM, louhad said:

 

@Emerald I appreciate your insights. Don't you think that there is a yin/yang polarity in any romantic/sexual relationships though? I have found that even in "conscious" relationships where both sides have integrated the masculine and feminine facets of themselves, there is still a layer of polarity. 

I think social conditioning plays a role, but I also think that there are genetic differences between the sexes as well that play a large role in shaping our attraction response as well(there is nuance here of course).

This article doesn't specifically touch on this, but it is interesting to see some of the biological differences and how they seem to manifest in behavior: 

 https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spring/how-mens-and-womens-brains-are-different.html

Yes, there is Yin/Yang polarity. Complementary polarity creates attraction in a relationship while similarity creates bonding. And part of this is rooted in the biology... though there are other perspectives on polarity as well.

The distinction here is that a man who represses his feminine side doesn't become more masculine... and a woman who represses her masculine side doesn't become more feminine.

So, those that are on either side of the horse are not any more or less masculine (or feminine) than they already were. They are just repressing parts of themselves.

Understand that when I say this, that being on either side of the horse doesn't have anything to do with polarity... it just has to do with a person's psychological state. And a person who is skewed to one side will be attractive to people who are skewed to the other side. But this doesn't have to do with natural polarity... it's a trauma attraction. 

[aurum]

54 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

So, acting on intuition instead of disregarding it is being more in tune with your feminine? How would that look like?

Depending on the model you want to use, yes.

Logic / rationality tends to be more of a masculine energy. It's linear and it's not emotional.

Intuition has more of a feminine energy to me. It's primarily based on feeling rather than analysis, although you can analyze your intuition after the fact.

It would look like being in touch with your emotions and the signals your body is sending you. Not being so stuck in your head.

Of course, you can't actually separate the masculine and the feminine. These are just useful conceptualizations, and so it be a mistake to think you can integrate your feminine without it affecting your masculine. It all relates.