Reoccurring pattern in this section

[Gesundheit]

I've noticed that every few days, a thread or two in this subforum get flooded with debates about the same topic: Attraction.

I contemplated this phenomenon and why it happens regularly, and came up with a few explanations. They might not be true, but at least that's my take. I wanted to share it here to create awareness, not to invoke anyone.

So here's my list of potential causes:

• Past traumatic experiences, which seem to play out in these discussions, as everyone seems to contribute with their share of insecurities/biases.
• Lack of action in real life, which probably makes us invest a lot of time in forming a lot of theories that might not have much to do with reality. This is probably reinforced by the covid-19 situation.
• Procrastination on taking action, again probably reinforced by the lock down.

Solutions:

I guess, a detailed Leo video on dating would be ideal.

Otherwise, I don't know. I'm trying to integrate women's perspectives here alongside dating coaches advice. I find myself inclined to comment sometimes, but I take a step back and watch mostly.

[Hulia]

4 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

I guess, a detailed Leo video on dating would be ideal.

Please not!!! Let him do his wonderful videos about enlightenment, nothinhness, wisdom, love, yes even love. But not dating! His perspective here is disgusting.

P.S.: good quote!

[Preety_India]

 

@Gesundheit  Leo already has a huge thread on this. 

 

 

To All Struggling Males Stop Playing Victim

 

[Preety_India]

And I'm not in the favor of Leo making more videos on dating like the above user said. 

Leo is quite good with what he is already doing. Enlightenment stuff that I really enjoy. 

Don't want Leo to regress from 3D to 2D.

 

[Gesundheit]

@Hulia

Any suggestions, though?

[Gesundheit]

@Preety_India @Hulia

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Spiral Wizard I shot a whole episode about How To Set Up The Perfect Date.

But I never published it

This doesn't sound so bad, ladies. What do you think?

[Preety_India]

Just now, Gesundheit said:

@Preety_India @Hulia

This doesn't sound so bad, ladies. What do you think?

That's his choice. Well nobody can stop him if he wants to make videos on that. 

But as a general suggestion, it distracts Leo from all of the consciousness videos. 

It also distracts audiences.. 

I would rather focus on @Leo Gura spiritual content.

 

[intotheblack]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

• Lack of action in real life, which probably makes us invest a lot of time in forming a lot of theories that might not have much to do with reality.

exactly. 

there is way too much overthinking and generalising that goes on on this forum.  too much theory and planning.. 

just like the quote says... many of the guys on this forum don't want to listen and are extremely close minded when it comes to femininity and intimacy. ...the same things are repeated over and over.  also there is too many people who hang on to Leos every word and believe he has all the answers. 

In real life things are very different, people need to get out in the real world and form real relationships if they really want to grow.

also, I would say many of the women on this forum are more advanced spiritually so they already have a deeper understanding of relationships....  that's why there is a clash happening.  because the women are more into deep understanding of relationships and intimacy, whereas the guys are just wanting to have sex.  it's a clash between the different stages of life.  it's basically Women vs boys... lol.  I have seen guys on this forum though with more loving views on dating and intimacy. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by intotheblack

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

exactly. 

there is way too much overthinking and generalising that goes on on this forum.  too much theory and planning.. 

just like the quote says... many of the guys on this forum don't want to listen and are extremely close minded when it comes to femininity and intimacy. ...the same things are repeated over and over.  also there is too many people who hang on to Leos every word and believe he has all the answers. 

In real life things are very different, people need to get out in the real world and form real relationships if they really want to grow.

also, I would say many of the women on this forum are more advanced spiritually so they already have a deeper understanding of relationships....  that's why there is a clash happening.  because the women are more into deep understanding of relationships and intimacy, whereas the guys are just wanting to have sex.  it's a clash between the different stages of life.  it's basically Women vs boys... lol.  I have seen guys on this forum though with more loving views on dating and intimacy. 

This is how I feel too. I want men to understand intimacy and integrate femininity. But all they care about is sex and attraction. How can a woman be emotionally attracted to a man who does not hear her at all? 

 

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

@Hulia

Any suggestions, though?

No suggestions, its so damned complicated - the relationships  

I know only what is wrong (Leo is wrong) - neti-neti 

[intotheblack]

28 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This is how I feel too. I want men to understand intimacy and integrate femininity. But all they care about is sex and attraction. How can a woman be emotionally attracted to a man who does not hear her at all? 

I know. 

but on the other hand I understand that these guys are simply less developed emotionally.  

That has been a problem between men and women since forever.  

They are still living out the low conscious animalistic nature, which will fade as the they reach higher levels of emotional development.  and this can be at any age.. which is why you can see very young mature men and then there is also older immature men who are still living the Peter Pan life. 

men can be well developed in other areas of life but then when it comes to emotions and intimacy they are still at the 'survival' level.  and it all is to do with their shadow, unmet needs and suppressing the feminine side. 

the last generations have been about women finding their inner power and embracing their masculine side.  now the pendulum is swinging and it is up to the men next to find their feminine...

[Hulia]

Me personally... I just hate this division into strong and weak, because it´s so useless.

I don´t understand what others understand under "strong" or "weak". Not a hint. I couldn´t tell who is strong and who is weak. Maybe in another context in my understanding: the less conditioned/ biased, the stronger (irrespective of gender). But it´s not Leo´s understanding when he praises masculine strongness. I don´t understand, how they define who is strong and who is not. 

That could be a request for a new video from Leo: What is strong and what is weak  

 

[SamC]

 

Quote

the last generations have been about women finding their inner power and embracing their masculine side.  now the pendulum is swinging and it is up to the men next to find their feminine...

@intotheblack No, the last generation was woman repressing their femine side becuase they had to become masculine in order to make it in the society.

Now, the pendulum have swinged and woman/ the feminist movement do the same thing that men did to to the feminie energy becuase they was so hurt by the toxic masculine energy.

Most woman here claim that the men in this sub forum have a problem with to much masculinity...

Actually it is the opposite. Most men on here struggle with attracting a girlfriend, aka struggle with the masculine polarity.

Of course the guys who haven't had success with woman are obsessed with sex. What else can you expect..

But that's not becuase they are not feminine enough... that's becuase they suck with woman which is becuase they probably struggle to convey the masculine polarity.

Lastly... guys need sex for intimacy, girls needs intimacy for sex. Don't forget that...

Maybe it is you that don't understand the masculine energy.

 

Edited March 8, 2021 by SamC

[intotheblack]

32 minutes ago, SamC said:

No, the last generation was woman repressing their femine side becuase they had to become masculine in order to make it in the society.

 

I think it’s a bit of both.  Women at one time were expected to be only feminine, then as women gained more personal power that naturally came with being more masculine, only it’s ended up going so far that they became too masculine. Now it’s time to start embracing the feminine again. 

 

36 minutes ago, SamC said:

guys need sex for intimacy

I disagree that they need sex for intimacy. From personal experience I know that guys can have intimacy without sex.  Once you have your intimacy needs met in other ways that need for sex isn’t as strong. 

 

39 minutes ago, SamC said:

Maybe it is you that don't understand the masculine energy.

You are right I don’t.  I’m still learning and can only speak from experience and from things I’ve read.  I never claimed to know it all.    

[Gesundheit]

@intotheblack

I agree with you on most of what you said.

Although, I don't particularly think that women are more developed than men, even regarding relationships. The fact that women care about intimate relationships doesn't automatically mean higher development. It's rather just different playing fields, so to speak. In the women's league, I agree that it is probably the case like you're suggesting. Women who are more mature usually seek a stable relationship, but again that doesn't necessarily apply for men. I think you're making the female perspective universal here. However, I don't claim to have perfect understanding here, so I could be wrong.

Another thing that I don't find quite accurate is the description of the clash as women vs. boys. A more accurate description imo would be women vs girls lol. I mean that most guys that are not able to attract women in reality lack masculinity, the lack of success is certainly not due to over-masculinity. Overly masculine guys have way more chances than less masculine guys. I think this has been established by everyone here.

I get it, though. Balance is better. You don't want an overly masculine nor do you want an overly feminine partner. You want a man who's integrated both the feminine and the masculine. However, I get the impression that you (ladies) think of Leo's dating advice as some political reformation for the new world order. When in fact, it's just advice for struggling males that don't yet have perfect relationship with their masculine side, that's all. It's like you're taking this issue to heart as if Leo's advice threatens femininity somehow.

[Hulia]

3 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

I mean that most guys that are not able to attract women in reality lack masculinity, the lack of success is certainly not due to over-masculinity.

I think they lack confidence. If the poor guys try to be masculine without confidence it will be ridiculous. Waht they need is confidence. And not masculinity.

[SamC]

38 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

I think it’s a bit of both.  Women at one time were expected to be only feminine, then as women gained more personal power that naturally came with being more masculine, only it’s ended up going so far that they became too masculine. Now it’s time to start embracing the feminine again. 

I hear you and understand your point of view. I disagree on the, it's time to integrate the feminie again though.

It's time to integrate the feminine and masculine at the same time and allow both polarities to fully express themselves. The problem is not masculinity or femininity, the problem is the need to repress any of the two.

Men need to feel like they can be men and woman need to feel like they can be woman.

Quote

 

I disagree that they need sex for intimacy. From personal experience I know that guys can have intimacy without sex.  Once you have your intimacy needs met in other ways that need for sex isn’t as strong. 

Not true at all. This is true for woman, not men. Men need sex in order to feel that deep deep intimacy with the girl while girls first need to feel that intimacy that you're talking about to than have sex.

It's the opposite dynamic.

Than again, I might be completely deluded - so I would love to hear what personal experiences you've had that tell you the opposite. Wanna share?@intotheblack

 

Edited March 8, 2021 by SamC

[Gesundheit]

29 minutes ago, Hulia said:

I think they lack confidence. If the poor guys try to be masculine without confidence it will be ridiculous. Waht they need is confidence. And not masculinity.

I think confidence IS a masculine trait.

[Hulia]

8 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

I think confidence IS a masculine trait.

Let´s agree on that. I have nothing against confidence. But some guys here, including Leo, mistaken confidence for dominance (this language makes me crazy, why not "dominEnce" or "confidAnce"?). Dominance is disgusting.

Confidence without dominance is the most delightful character trait!! The quiet introverted and confident guys are the best!

[Gesundheit]

@Hulia I think the word dominance here is used exclusively within the sexual context. Otherwise, Leo is feminist and encourages treating all women with respect (me too, btw). Dominance doesn't mean anything other than taking leadership in initiating sex and building up sexual tension/attraction.

Edited March 8, 2021 by Gesundheit